


Number 6, Arkadia

by Miss_Princess_Blake



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Artist Clarke, Drinking, F/M, Happy Ending, Mild Angst, Modern AU, No character bashing, Security Guard Bellamy, Slow Burn, Smoking, Swearing, and they were neighbors, eventually, like so much swearing, mostly - Freeform, some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:35:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 78,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25394737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Princess_Blake/pseuds/Miss_Princess_Blake
Summary: Clarke was excited to finally be on her own at her new apartment in Arkadia. She's got a new job just far enough away from her old life to give her the freedom she so desperately desires while still close enough to not have to leave everything she loves behind. Her apartment is perfect, she gets to make some new friends, and she even likes her new boss. Too bad she has a grumpy, full of himself neighbor to deal with.Bellamy has lived at number 6, Arkadia for years. His life is more than comfortable, he's got his sister and his friends, and it's pretty close to enough. Sure, there are some things he would change. But overall, he's happy. That is until the newest Princess moves into the penthouse and seems hellbent on making his life a living hell.Can these two figure out a way to get along? Or is there something else simmering under the surface?
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 338
Kudos: 357





	1. Change

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so very much for checking out this story. I have been working on it for a long time. Don't worry about it being abandoned, the fic is actually basically completed pending final edits. If all goes according to plan, this story will be updated twice weekly. I hope you like it!
> 
> If you don't mind some light spoilers (more like hints) there is an accompanying playlist. Each song is the title of a chapter. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).
> 
> Additionally, I have to give all of my thanks and love to my two wonderful betas, Bleu and Adavision. Without their help, this fic would be a mess. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for putting up with my questions and long updates and inability to stay in the past tense. This story would be nothing without you!

  
[](https://ibb.co/CspfQfQ)  


“Alright,” Monty said as he and Jasper set down yet another large, brown box on Clarke’s living room floor, “that’s officially the last of them.”

Clarke looked around at her new place and smiled. She still had a ton to do before it could really start feeling like home, but the anticipation of what could be lingered in the air and made her smile. She just knew good things were on the horizon.

“Thanks, guys,” she said to her friends just as Harper was finishing putting the perishables in Clarke’s fridge. “Honestly I couldn’t have done this without you.”

“Especially not without my truck,” Harper said with a smirk.

Clarke laughed and hugged her. “You were definitely the most indispensable,” she said in a stage whisper behind her hand as the boys just rolled their eyes, “just don’t tell them that.”

“Right,” Jasper said with a smile, “like you could have done any of this without my big guns!” he flexed his arms and pulled back the sleeve of his Combichrist t-shirt, earning him a smack to the back of the head from Harper which sent everyone into a fit of laughter.

“Do you need anything else, Clarke?” Monty asked through fits of laughter.

“No,” Clarke said, wrapping an awkward arm around his shoulder and she balanced a box of paints and brushes on her hip, “I think I can handle it from here. Really, thank you though guys. I owe you all pizza once I’m set up.”

“We’ll bring the drinks!” Jasper exclaimed, enthusiastically. Everyone groaned, knowing that meant moonshine and a wicked hangover. But it’s not like any of them ever said no. Finally, Harper pushed the boys out the door with a small wave goodbye.

Once the door clicked closed she latched it and took a deep breath, drinking it all in. She stood in the middle of her apartment and slowly turned in a circle. Clarke had spent her whole life simply existing in other people’s worlds and now, for once, she had a world of her own. Moving to 6 Arkadia Place was reckless and crazy, as her mother loved reminding her every day since she signed the lease, but Clarke didn’t care. Even if she had to live off of ramen and take out, this place was hers and no one could take that away from her.

So far, there was very little to look at but she could imagine what it would soon become. The furniture was set to arrive over the next week, and until then she had plenty to keep her busy. Even with nothing in it, the apartment was amazing. Because she was on the top floor, she got to have vaulted ceilings and a skylight that let warm beams of sunlight fall across the country white walls and exposed beams overhead. The hardwood flooring was tinted gray and had a beautifully patterned grain through it. The apartment was modest but comfortable. She knew she would have room for a big squashy couch, an oversized chair, and an entertainment area in the living room and not much else. To her right was a small bedroom with her queen bed and dresser. Behind her was a long kitchen with a breakfast bar that would serve as her dining area. Clarke wasn’t much of a cook so it didn’t need to be huge, but felt it would be perfect for having a few friends over on game night with Harper’s famous jalapeño poppers and her nachos.

Undoubtedly, her favorite part of the entire place was just beyond the living room. Leading out were a set of French doors with white curtains beyond which was a good-sized balcony and a killer view. Growing up in the city, her only view had been buildings, cars, and city streets lined with transplanted trees. Moving to Arkadia was like moving to a different planet, though she liked to imagine she could see her mom’s three-story townhome from here, even if it was nearly an hour away. From her window, she had a perfect view of the river and forest just beyond it. While there were plenty of other buildings near her and the town was clearly in view in the distance, she could pretend none of it existed just beyond those trees.

She couldn’t wait to draw it.

Clarke smiled at the thought. After a moment, her mind was set. It took a few minutes to find her sketchpad and pencils in the boxes littering her living room, but once she did she grabbed a beer and headed to the balcony. Using a couple of boxes as a makeshift patio set, she set to work documenting what she saw.

The early August sun glinted spectacularly off the slowly rushing water and the few families eating picnics in the small park beside the river. Clarke smiled at the sight. The sun was just beginning to dip below the tree line when she finally finished. She took a step back and admired her piece. It would need some touching up and shading, but otherwise, she was happy with it for a rough sketch. Finishing her third beer, her stomach rumbled and she realized she was starving for something other than liquid.

Walking in the kitchen, she took one look around and sighed. She really didn’t want to cook or go to the grocery store after moving all day. With a nod to herself, she grabbed her purse and keys and headed for the door. No time like the present to explore the neighborhood, right?

Reaching the ground floor, her phone buzzed. Just as she looked at the text from Wells, she collided with someone coming around the corner. Her purse went flying along with her phone as both girls shrieked, losing their balance. They weren’t even standing back up before they began to apologize over each other

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry-”

“No, it was my fault-”

“-was going way too fast and-”

“-shouldn’t text and walk-”

“Are you alright?” Both girls said, nearly at the same time. After a moment they started cracking up.

“I’m ok,” Clarke said, finishing picking up her things. The other girl handed her a pen that had rolled away. Finally looking up she saw a girl about her age with dark hair in intricate braids, earbuds strung through her sports bra, and running shorts.

“Me too,” the other girl said, holding out her hand, “I’m Octavia, by the way.”

Clarke shook the girl's hand, secretly impressed that she didn’t have a wimpy handshake. “Clarke,” she said, “I’m new to the building.”

“Oh!” Octavia said excitedly, “you must be the person who moved into the new penthouse. That’s right above me and my brother’s place. It’s a great apartment. Are you new to the area?”

“Not exactly,” Clarke said. “I grew up in the city. I spent the last few years at art school up north, though. Once I got used to the open land and all the trees and hiking, moving back in with my mom felt claustrophobic. So, my friends who live nearby helped me find this place and here I am.”

“A big city girl, huh?” Octavia said, voice playful and teasing. “Well, I hope this area doesn’t end up being too boring for you.”

Clarke snorted. “Unlikely,” she said, “I just got back from a town nearly three hours from a city where the one bar closed by 9 and everyone knew everything about everyone. Now that was boring but at least it was gorgeous. Something tells me I’ll never get bored here.”

“Speaking of,” Octavia said, “I don’t want to keep you from wherever you were going.”

Clarke smiled and shook her head. “Don’t worry about it,” she said, “I was just going to go avoid thinking about the dozens of boxes I have to unpack by finding somewhere good to eat. Any suggestions?”

Octavia’s eyes lit up. “I know just the place.”

After Octavia quickly went to get cleaned up and a short 10-minute walk, they come up to a funky looking diner with a big neon sign naming it as Mount Weather that had amazing smells coming from it. Clarke smiled when they entered. There were a number of booths and tables scattered throughout as well as a few long community-style tables down the center. The place had a good number of people but didn’t feel overcrowded and everyone looked like they were having a great time. Nothing matched and there were funny posters on the walls in between interesting art pieces and most of the exposed pieces of wood had been scribbled on by patrons over the years. Her mom would hate it here and it warmed Clarke a bit. She doubted she would ever let go of her rebellious streak.

Not two minutes after the two girls slid into a booth near the window, a kind-looking woman just a few years older than Clarke came up to the table. Her name tag said Niylah. She smiled when Clarke met her eye. Clarke couldn’t help noticing how pretty she was and the way she scarcely broke eye contact.

“Hi, Octavia,” Niylah said, noticing the other girl. “Not your usual time to come in. Who’s your friend?”

“This is Clarke,” Octavia supplied. “She just moved into Arkadia from the city.”

“Well welcome to the neighborhood and Mount Weather,” Niylah said with a dazzling smile. “I know what Octavia’s going to get, anything sound appealing to you, Clarke?”

“I’ve seen a few things that have caught my eye,” Clarke said, “what would you recommend?”

“I guess that all depends on what you like,” Niylah said with a smirk.

“I like lots of things,” Clarke smiled and laughed, to which Octavia only looked confused. “For now, I’ll just take a burger and a beer. The Ballast Point Mango IPA please”

“Whatever you want,” Niylah said with a wink before heading back behind the counter again.

Octavia shook her head. “Why do I feel like I just completely missed something,” she said with a smile.

“Don’t worry,” Clarke replied, jotting her number down on a napkin to slip to Niylah later and flashing it at Octavia, “just getting myself acquainted with the locals.”

She and Octavia both laughed. “Oh!” She finally exclaimed, “got it. You like girls, that’s cool. Well good choice with Niylah, she’s awesome.”

“I like both, actually,” Clarke corrected just as their drink arrived, “but thanks for the info. We’ll see how it goes.” She was happy to see Octavia had also gotten a beer, even if it wasn’t an IPA. She could tell they were going to be friends.

“Even better!” Octavia said, taking a long drink from her beer. “Now we can go to that new bar, TonDC, and scope out guys together!”

“Sounds great,” Clarke said with a laugh. “I actually know two of the bartenders there. I bet you’ll love them.”

“Now that's music to this recently 21-year old’s ears,” Octavia said, raising her glass with a toast and a giggle.

“Alright,” Clarke said, clinking Octavia’s glass with her own “now tell me everything worth knowing about Arkadia.”

“That I can do,” Octavia said. “So Arkadia and Dropship across town are both owned by the same company, Trikru Corporation. The company is a joint operation between Marcus Kane and Indra Trikru. Marcus was mostly the financial backer of the whole thing and Indra kind of runs it all. There’s also a security firm that my brother works for and a few other major businesses in the community. Most of the stuff here is little, mom and pop shops though. Kane is the head of the security company, thus being called Kane’s Security. He is clearly both humble and creative.”

Clarke laughed as her new friend rolled her eyes dramatically before continuing.

“There are a few buildings to Arkadia, but obviously we both live in number 6. Each of the buildings is a walk up and each apartment spans a whole floor. Thus, the external style stairwell. Rumor has it Kane has been trying to talk Indra into adding an elevator for a few years but she says us ‘young-lings’ could use the exercise. She likes to call us all Sky People because she thinks we have our heads in the clouds.”

When their food arrived along with two more beers and Clarke eagerly ate, awaiting more information from the excited brunette who, she noted, had gotten some kind of meat-filled quesadilla. She was liking her new friend more and more. Octavia paused her story to eat some of her food. Everything was delicious. Clarke had a feeling she would be a frequent patron of this place, especially if it meant she didn’t have to cook.

“So, obviously, you already know that you have the fifth-floor penthouse, which I’m very jealous of by the way. My brother and I are below you in a two-bedroom. It’s a bit bigger than yours but has a smaller balcony. Below us is actually Marcus Kane’s mom, Vera. She’s super sweet and always hosting little dinners and stuff for the building. Below her is empty as of like a month ago, thank God. This older guy named Charles Pike used to live there. He was an ass. Every time my brother and I had friends over he would call in a noise complaint and was always complaining to Vera about us not taking care of the building. No one in any of the buildings was sad to see him move out. It’s mostly younger people living in the complex or super chill old people like Vera. We were happy he decided to buy a house somewhere with less snow.”

Clarke chuckled. “I’m glad I never had to deal with him. I doubt I would have been his favorite and I certainly wouldn’t have been forgiving. I’m excited to meet Mrs. Kane, though.”

“You should be,” Octavia said, finishing her food. “Though I promise you she won’t let you call her that. It’s Vera and nothing else. Anyways, the ground floor is a girl named Maya. She has the biggest apartment even though she lives alone. Her floor is the only one with a laundry room. She’s super sweet but a little shy. I don’t really know her.”

“Actually I do,” Clarke said, surprised to have information her new friend didn’t. “We work at the same art gallery and she works the front desk. She’s a great girl.”

“Oh, God!” Octavia exclaimed, “I’ve been blabbering on and on and haven’t asked anything about you! So what brings you to Arkadia, Clarke? What do you do at the gallery? Are you an artist?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Clarke said sincerely, “I feel much better informed about where I live now. Me though? Much less interesting topic. I grew up in the city and loved art and science equally. I started college intending to become a doctor like my mom, but I fell so deeply in love with art. My mom didn’t love it, but she loved and trusted me. So I switched from my fancy west coast school to an art school north of the city. That’s actually when I met Maya. She was a senior and I was a junior. We didn’t always see eye to eye in the beginning but she got me and my friends out of some trouble with the dean and we have been friends ever since. She actually helped me get a job as an art consultant at Polis, that big gallery downtown. When I graduated three months ago and moved back with my mom, I missed my independence. One night when Maya and I were at TonDC she told me about the job. After that, I talked to a couple of my friends who live over at the Dropship and she told me about Arkadia. The rest is history. I actually owe her a lot.”

“I get that,” Octavia said, a bit somber. “After my mom died in middle school, all I had was my brother. He basically raised me. I owe him everything.”

“He sounds like a great guy,” Clarke said.

“He is. Most of the time. But you know how family is. They have their good traits and bad. But you love them either way.”

After another beer each and some more easy conversation about their lives, the girls took off back toward Arkadia. The late summer night was pleasantly warm and had just turned to twilight. Clarke was happily full, she had met a new friend, and she had given her number to a pretty girl. All in all, it was a great first day in her new home.

“So I definitely want to come to check out the gallery sometime,” Octavia said as they neared their building. “And we absolutely should hit TonDC soon.”

“I would like that,” Clarke said, “and thank you for helping me feel so welcome on my first day here, Octavia.”

“I had a great time,” Octavia said when they reached her front door, “after all, who doesn’t want more friends?”

“Truer words have never been said,” Clarke said, giving her new friend a hug. “I’m sure I’ll see you soon.”

“Absolutely,” Octavia said before heading inside.

When Clarke got back to her own place, she couldn’t help but be grateful at the unexpectedness of her evening. With a smile, she pulled out her phone. She had promised her best friend, Wells, an update. She had a lot to tell him.

Somehow, Clarke felt like her entire life started now that she had moved to Arkadia and she honestly couldn't wait.


	2. Get Over It

  


For Bellamy Blake, it had been a very long day. As much as he liked his job working security under Marcus Kane, there were days that truly tested his patience. Currently, the ambassadors from a number of countries were in town for a coalition conference, and his charge was exhausting. It wasn’t that he necessarily didn’t like Echo, it was more that she had a habit of getting herself into trouble that Bellamy seemed to always have to get her out of. As happy as he knew Kane was with his performance and as much as he was grateful for the good promotion this job was likely to earn him, sometimes he wished he had just used his history degree to become a teacher as he had planned. Yes, he would have been stuck grading and doing lesson plans until his eyes bled, but at least he wouldn't have come home at the end of each shift as physically worn out as he was now.

It was for that reason he was so grateful to be home, sprawled out on his squashy brown leather couch, Ballast Point Mango IPA in hand, and a rerun of Friends on in the background. He had barely been there for ten minutes when Octavia came excitedly through the door. Despite his exhaustion and a low tolerance for anyone else, he was always happy to see his sister.

“Bellamy!” Octavia said, surprised. “You’re home!”

“Nothing gets past you, dear sister,” Bellamy quipped sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

“Very funny, jackass,” she said, plopping down on the couch beside him. She took a sip of his beer and scrunched her nose. She never did like IPA’s. “I meant what are you doing home already. It’s only like eight o’clock. I thought you’d be out until at least midnight.”

“Normally I would have been,” Bellamy explained, getting up to grab his sister a cider from the fridge while she commandeered the remote in search of something stupid like The Bachelor or Matched or something equally ridiculous, “but her majesty, Mademoiselle Echo decided for once in her damn life that she didn’t want to ruin my life and actually went home at a normal human hour. Thus I managed to work a shift less than ten hours.”

“Well that’s just my luck then,” Octavia smiled, happily taking her beer and the bag of chips Bellamy grabbed on his way out of the kitchen.

“So where’ve you been tonight?” Bellamy asked, already dreading the answer. “Ilian decide to call you back for once?”

Octavia rolled her eyes. “Hell no,” she said, with more conviction than Bellamy would have expected, “I’m completely done with that asshole. You can only blow me off so many times before I assume you’re nothing more than a dick. No, I actually made a new friend today.”

“Oh yeah?” Bellamy said, trying to decide if he had already seen this episode of Matched his sister had settled on. They all looked the same after a while.

“Yeah,” Octavia replied with a mouth full of chips, “she’s actually the new girl that moved in upstairs. She’s super cool. I think you’ll like her.”

Bellamy snorted. “Not likely,” he said, “as if we need another Penthouse Princess in our lives.” 

Bellamy couldn’t help think about the last girl who had lived in the unit above theirs. Ontari had been a pampered princess who had never worked for anything a day in her life. She was brash, loud, rude, and thought she should be in control of the entire complex. Admittedly, she had not lasted long. Rumor had it she had moved permanently into the unnecessarily luxurious City of Light complex just outside of the downtown area. Bellamy and Octavia had both been more than happy to be rid of her. Truth was, everyone who had ever lived in the penthouse had been the same, and Bellamy had little faith this new girl would be any different. He gave her three months, tops before she realized this wasn’t the upscale palace she was expecting. It was just a shame that Octavia’s good-natured spirit couldn’t see that. Bellamy was certain that whoever this new girl was would end up being no less a princess than the last.

“Clarke isn’t Ontari, Bellamy,” Octavia said, practically reading his mind. It unnerved him to no end her ability to do that.

“Yeah, well,” he said, draining the last of his beer, “Ontari or whoever, that damn unit is cursed. Or maybe we are. Everyone who moved up there thinks their physical place above us all actually means they are above us.”

“Clarke is different,” Octavia said, sounding more than a little put-out, “I can tell and I’m an excellent judge of character.”

“Your thing with Atom would suggest otherwise.”

Octavia punched him the arm, which actually really fucking hurt. Damn martial arts classes.

“Ok, ok,” Bellamy said, “so you’ve made a new friend and she’s not as bad as the bitch who was here before. You happy?”

Octavia sat back heavily on the couch and took a long drink of her beer. “For now, big brother.”

“Can we watch Game of Thrones now?” Bellamy asked, hoping to put talks of the new Princess of Arkadia from his mind.

Octavia smiled and settled in even deeper into the couch. “Happily.”

The next day, Bellamy was exceptionally happy to have the day off and his sister having to work. He was at least two weeks behind on most of the shows he actually enjoyed and he didn’t even want to think about the amount of homework he still had to do for his masters of mythology course. Yes, it was online which allowed him a good amount of flexibility in his schedule, but that didn’t change the fact that this degree was a crap ton of work.

Despite his overwhelming desire to spend his day at the bottom of the bottle of scotch with the latest season of Arrow on repeat, days off meant catching up on bills, homework, and making sure their apartment didn’t look too much like a bunch of delinquents lived there. Thus, he finally peeled himself off his overly worn spot on the couch to make his way to the mailbox on the ground level. He knew that, if nothing else, the internet and electric bill would be impatiently awaiting him there. Octavia had been bugging him to set up electronic payments, but there was something satisfying about sending a physical check and knowing it was done that kept him more “old school” than anyone his age, a fact his sister constantly reminded him of.

As he dug through the contents of his mailbox to rid it of all the useless crap that accumulated throughout the week, he heard the door open to his left and a pretty blonde stood a bit behind him, busily taking on her phone.

“Absolutely,” she said, “but you have to understand that the value is much higher than that.” She paused and began tapping her foot, as Bellamy continued to sort through the ads and bills and stupid loan offers that frequented his mailbox. “Yes, I hear you… No. That just won’t work for my seller—-yes I understand that might not please you but I can’t speak for anything other than the instruction I was given… yes, I understand… yes… well, let me know when you’ve spoken with your client… No thank you… I am far too busy for that… alright, I’ll talk to you later.”

As he noticed he didn’t know her, Bellamy realized who this must be. This woman with her very important phone conversation and insistent foot-tapping must be Clarke, new friend to Octavia, and current resident Princess of the Arkadia penthouse. He felt himself bristle but tried to hold it back. Bellamy was just about to move aside to allow this woman access to the box she was clearly waiting for when she sighed loudly. Suddenly, despite his better judgment, he felt the need to take his time going through the last few letters in his hand. Her foot tapping was grating and impatient and got on Bellamy’s last nerve and he lost his patience.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, Princess.”

“Excuse me?” Immediately, her tapping stopped “What did you call me?”

“You heard me,” he said, not even trying to hide his contempt as he turned himself around to glare at her fully.

“My name is Clarke,” she said, voice icy.

“Do I look like I give a damn what your name is?” As if he didn’t know exactly who she was.

“Well,” she said, with an impressive air of disdain, “I don’t really give a damn if you care what my name is but that’s who I am and I don’t appreciate your little nickname.”

“Well good for you,” Bellamy said, pissed at the girl's self-imposed importance. With that, he slammed closed his mailbox with more than necessary force. “Well, I can’t say it was a pleasure meeting the new Princess of Arkadia. Sorry to have kept her majesty waiting.”

With his final words firmly in place and her electric blue eyes burning with a fire he didn’t expect a pampered princess to be capable of, he turned and made his way up the three flights of stairs to his apartment.

No matter what Octavia thought of her, Bellamy’s mind was firmly set. The new Princess of Arkadia was exactly who he knew she would be. Just another spoiled, self-righteous, brat whose mommy and daddy bought her a fancy penthouse so she could “find herself”. 

The moment he got inside, he went to his balcony to light a cigarette and called his friend, Kyle Wick.

“Feel like coming over and being my distraction?” Bellamy asked before Wick even had a chance to say hello.

“I’ll be there in twenty with a bottle of Jameson,” his friend said with zero hesitation. Wick truly did know the way to his heart.

Still, Bellamy sulked until his friend arrived.

Bellamy was impressed when Wick let himself in a mere eighteen minutes later. True he was only coming from the Dropship, but Kyle was notoriously good at being late to everything. He must have heard the irritation in Bellamy’s voice. Coming on to the balcony with two glasses and the bottle, Wick settled into the striped chair opposite Bellamy’s and snatched a smoke from his pack.

Bellamy downed his drink in one and poured a second. He knew he should offer some kind of explanation, but at the moment he still felt like there was steam coming from his ears. He probably should have gotten over it by now, but there was just something about this girl that had gotten under his skin.

“So,” Wick said, snuffing out his smoke and fixing Bellamy with his impish yet penetrating gaze, “I generally can do a much better job of figuring out how to distract a person if I know exactly what it is I am distracting from.”

Bellamy sighed and downed his second shot too. “It’s this girl,” Bellamy started.

“Isn’t it always?” Kyle interrupted.

Bellamy shot him a rude gesture but otherwise ignored him. “She just moved in upstairs,” he continued with a glare through the upstairs floorboards. “Octavia met her yesterday and is basically ready to adopt her. I mean, we know Octavia. Not always the best judge of character but that usually only extends to guys she’s screwing.”

Kyle laughed and nodded. “Do you remember Atom?” he asked, grabbing another smoke. “That guy was a real piece of work. So charming and sliming up to you and shit. Then turns around and just bails on her. No explanation, deletes his Facebook, changes his phone number. Still never did figure out what happened to him.”

Bellamy snorted. “Who could forget the infamous loser who started it all,” he said. “Took Octavia months to go back to being herself. She’s been pretty guarded since then.”

Bellamy shook his head and started pacing. “That’s why I don’t get how Octavia could be getting sucked in by the bitch upstairs.”

“Ok,” Wick said, “start from the beginning.”

“So Octavia met this girl yesterday and they went to dinner and really hit it off, apparently,” Bellamy said. “She’s acting like this girl is her new best friend and I don’t get it. I met her today downstairs when I was grabbing the mail. She came in loudly chattering away on some big, important business call. Then apparently I was taking too long to suit her royal highnesses needs because she starts this incessant foot tapping. Then, just as I was getting ready to move so she could get to her box she lets out this big, overdramatic sigh. As if I didn’t know she was there, waiting. Like, I've already had enough bullshit dealing with the whims of one god damn princess every day in my fucking job. Last I need is another one in my own home!”

Bellamy took out another cigarette and just stared at it. He knew his throat was going to kill him tomorrow if he kept this up, but at this point, he didn’t care. He lit it and let himself get lost for a moment in the distraction of bluish-gray smoke swirling in currents toward the ceiling. “Before you say anything, yes I realize I’m probably overreacting-”

“Definitely overreacting,” Wick said with a smirk over his drink.

Bellamy glared at him. “Fine,” he agreed, “I’m overreacting. But you weren’t there. You didn’t see the way she looked and acted and smelled-”

Wick raised his eyebrow and barely restrained a smile, “Smelled?”

“Yes, smelled,” Bellamy said, “like fancy perfume or something. That’s not the point.”

“Then what is the point?”

“She’s spoiled! She’s one of those girls who thinks the world owes her something just because she has money. I’m so sick of all these egotistical know-it-alls who are born with a silver spoon in their damn mouths and act like the rest of us are simply existing in their world. Just because mommy and daddy buy her this penthouse just outside the city and she gets handed a job based on her name she thinks she’s better than everyone else and her time is more valuable than mine.”

“I have to ask,” Wick said, “is she hot?”

Bellamy snorted. “Of course she’s hot,” he said, “they’re always hot. Perfectly done up blonde hair, electric blue eyes, perfectly polished makeup and nails. They are like god damn vampires. Everything about them is designed to pull you in before they devour you.

“I spend my whole life catering to people like her and I’m sick of it. I wanted to give her a chance, I really did. But Octavia’s wrong about her. All she is is a spoiled princess.”

With that, he heard the door slam closed above him and groaned into his hand, sitting back in his chair and snuffing out his cigarette.

“I take it her majesty heard you,” Kyle said, unhelpfully.

“Really,” Bellamy said, rolling his eyes, “what was your first clue?”

Great. Just what he needed. Not that he cared what she thought or anything, but Octavia was going to be impossible to live with when she found out. Bellamy took another shot and scrubbed a hand through his hair. All he could hope was the princess got bored of being away from her swanky happy hours and brunches with “the girls” and moved out soon. Then he could go back and pretend he had never met her just like every princess before her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those that are curious, there is a playlist that goes with this fic.
> 
> If you don't mind some light spoilers (more like hints) each song is the title of a chapter. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).


	3. Mr. Know It All

  


Clarke was furious as she slammed her balcony door, making the walls shake, after hearing the conversation Octavia’s brother was having downstairs. All she had wanted to do was enjoy the brisk evening air and forget about the long-as-fuck day she had been having, part of which was his fault, by the way, yet he managed to even fuck that up for her.

Polis had been brutal all day. Between her boss, Lincoln Trikru, handing off most of the difficult clients to her claiming she needed the experience, getting roped into planning the annual Polis Christmas party, and Diana Sydney changing her mind for the fifth time on what she thought was a fair price for her newest piece, suffice it to say Clarke was exhausted. She had still been arguing with Diana’s buyer when she got home. Realizing she should get her mail, she waited behind a man with unruly brown curls who ended up being Octavia’s brother. He was taking a while, but she didn’t mind. When she finally got to hang up her phone she let out a deep breath, trying desperately to rid herself of the toxic air of that horrible woman. She was just happy to get a chance to take a damn breath. That’s when he turned on her.

Princess, he had called her. The word made her see red. It was what her douche bag ex, Finn, had called her, it was what kids joked about in high school, and she was happy to finally be able to escape it, and yet here she was again. What right did he have to sit up on his high horse and judge her? All she wanted was to get her mail, pour herself a big glass of wine, and pretend she didn’t have to be at the gallery again at seven am. She stood there fuming for a solid minute after he stormed away before she pulled herself together. She absolutely was not going to let this judgemental asshole ruin those plans.

Then hearing him go off like that… Clarke honestly was at a loss as to how to merge the abrasive, holier-than-thou, jerk she just had to listen to spouting his mouth off downstairs with the loyal, smart, caring man that had raised Octavia.

Clarke went to bed without eating dinner that night, ready to be done with the day.

Thankfully, the next day was much better. Lincoln told her first thing that he would be out all day with clients and she was in charge while he was gone. Lincoln was a nice guy, even if he was a bit quiet and strict, but Clarke was happy to have the gallery to herself that day. Thanks to the rain that rolled in around lunch, the place was pretty slow. Clarke mostly ran reception, since it was Maya’s day off. Having the place to herself meant she could paint in the backroom and just listen for the telltale ding of the bell if someone came in.

Despite herself, her thoughts kept returning to the conversation she overheard the night before. She knew she needed to let it go, but all she kept hearing in her head was the condescending way he called her Princess. She was determined to keep Octavia as a friend because she really liked the girl, but she didn’t know how she was going to stand to be around him. She knew it was an inevitability, but she wanted to put off another meeting for as long as humanly possible.

When her phone buzzed around two with a number she didn’t know, she was excited to find that it was a text from the girl from the diner, Niylah. Clarke grinned at the chance for a very welcome distraction. Niylah wanted to know if she had any plans that weekend because there was some new art-house style movie coming out. Clarke agreed enthusiastically. It was barely a minute later when her phone went off again. Clarke laughed at the other girl's eagerness and was surprised when she saw Octavia’s name on her screen.

Clarke’s smile fell, worried the text would be Octavia chewing her out for the situation with her brother. Thankfully, she was just asking what Clarke’s plans were after work that day. Clarke smiled and called her new friend.

“Hi, Clarke!” Octavia said, happily. There was a lot of noise in the background and Octavia’s voice was nearly lost in the cacophony of voices and music and various other sounds Clarke couldn’t identify.

“Hey, Octavia,” Clarke said, “where are you?”

“I just got out of class,” Octavia said, “sorry about all the commotion. Today was the last day of the summer semester so everyone is a little rowdy. That’s actually why I texted you. My friend Raven and I are planning on celebrating tonight and I want you there what do you say?”

“Absolutely,” Clarke said. “Anywhere, in particular, you want to go?”

“Actually,” Octavia said, “how about that bar you mentioned you had friends at, TonDC? I’ve never been but it always seemed pretty cool. Plus it’s walking distance from both Raven’s apartment and ours so we can drink as much as we want.”

Clarke smirked, already regretting how much she would inevitably drink tonight, especially since she knew Harper would be behind the bar. “I’m in.”

“Great. Meet us there at eight?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

It was 7:45 when Clarke got to the bar, and a quick look around showed that she was the first one there. When she saw Harper she smiled and went to say hi to her friend.

“Hey, Clarke,” Harper said, grabbing a bottle of her usual Ballast Point IPA. ”You meeting Jasper and Monty here?”

“No,” Clarke replied, “a new friend from my building.”

“You certainly move fast,” Harper said with a smile.

“You know me,” Clarke said with a chuckle, “always Miss Popular.”

“Always. Anyways, I think the boys are coming in tonight anyway. Try to make sure Jasper doesn't make the bar look too bad.”

“I gave up trying to rein him in years ago.”

Harper sighed with faux drama. Jasper and Monty always found a way to get themselves into some kind of antics. The girls were more than used to it by now. She and Harper were catching up and Clarke was showing her some pictures on her phone of the progress she was making in the apartment when Octavia and a girl she assumed was Raven came in.

“Hey, Octavia,” Clarke said as the girls strolled up to the bar, “this is my friend from high school, Harper. Don't believe anything she says about me. It's all bald-faced lies.”

Harper snorted. “I assure you it's not. It's nice to meet you both. Let me know if I can get you anything.”

“I look forward to hearing the antics of baby Clarke,” Octavia said with a slightly evil smile.

“And I look forward to telling you all of O’s dirty little secrets,” Raven quipped, “I'm Raven, by the way.”

“It's nice to meet you,” Clarke said.

“Raven’s the lead mechanic at Sinclair’s Aerospace around the corner,” Octavia said. “She is basically a prodigy and crazy genius. The youngest lead he’s ever hired. Sinclair is basically her mentor. She and I have known each other for years. She was in the same class as Bellamy.”

Clarke forced herself not to wince. “That's your brother right?”

Octavia nodded. “They dated for like half a second before realizing they were about as compatible as fire and ice. After that, she and I became good friends. She's like the big sister I never had.”

“Well I'm very glad I got a chance to meet you then,” Clarke said, shaking the girl’s hand.

“Same here,” Raven replied. “So I hear you work at Polis.”

“Yeah,” Clarke said. “Been there for a few months. The pay is shit but it's a great opportunity. My boss, Lincoln, is an amazing artist and curator. I'm lucky to work with him.”

“I've been telling Raven we need to go check the place out,” Octavia said. “I mean, neither of us knows shit about art but I'm sure you could teach us.”

Clarke smiled and the girls all ordered drinks while they chatted about the gallery and the Tim Burton experience planned near Halloween. They make their way to the pool tables and play a few rounds. Clarke was on her third beer when Jasper and Monty showed up.

“Clarke!” Jasper said, clearly having pre-gamed before they arrived. He gave her a huge hug and a grossly wet kiss on the cheek. “And who are these beautiful ladies you are accompanied by this evening.”

Octavia laughed when Jasper bowed and kissed her hand. Clarke rolled her eyes and did introductions.

“Well I don't know about you ladies,” Jasper said, “but I could use a shot!”

Monty mouthed sorry to them but his smirk showed he didn't feel that bad as they collected their round of shots from Harper. Monty dropped a quick kiss on her cheek to the wolf whistles of their friends. Harper blushed and Monty rolled his eyes.

The group hit it off well. Clarke enjoyed watching Jasper try to win over Octavia while Monty and Raven got into some technical conversation the second he found out where she worked. A few hours and a few shots and beers later, Raven stepped outside for a smoke and Clarke went to join her.

“You didn't really strike me as the smoking type,” Raven said, passing her one.

“Generally I'm not,” Clarke said, “at least not anymore. It was all part of my mini rebellion I hit in college. It's hard to be in the art department and not partake. Nowadays I only do it when I've had too much to drink. Which tonight I clearly have.”

“Clearly,” Raven said with a smirk. She took a few drags before she spoke again. “So, I have to ask. What's the deal with you and Bellamy?”

Clarke furrowed her brows. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” Raven said, snuffing her cigarette out on the bottom of her combat boot, “I couldn’t help but notice you flinch every time Octavia said his name tonight.”

Clarke hadn’t even noticed she had been doing it, but even still, she was surprised that Raven had noticed. “It’s nothing,” Clarke said, quietly.

“Look,” Raven said seriously, “I know we just met but I can tell when someone’s not saying something. You don’t have to tell me but I promise I’m an excellent listener. Did you bone or something?”

Clarke nearly choked on her beer. “God, no!”

Raven laughed as Clarke sent her an ineffective glare and then sighed. Despite her best efforts to put him out of her mind, she had been failing miserably. The drinks had done nothing to help. If anything, she kept hearing Princess over and over in her head, each shot making it ring louder in her ears. Against her better judgment, she spilled the whole story.

Raven wasn’t kidding when she said she was a good listener. She didn’t speak the whole time Clarke ranted, nodding or making small sounds of understanding where appropriate. After each girl had a second cigarette and Clarke got everything out, Raven finally weighed in.

“I understand why you’re pissed,” Raven said. “Bellamy was way out of line with what he said. He tends to be big on first impressions and the way he grew up makes him a bit opposed to people he assumes have money. For what it’s worth, I don’t think he’s right. You are certainly no princess.”

“Thank you!” Clarke said, throwing her arms up.

“Still,” Raven said, “I don’t think you got the best impression of him either. Bellamy isn’t a bad guy. He’s stubborn and basically a grumpy old man, but he’s also really compassionate and loyal and loves Octavia more than life itself.”

Clarke frowned and looked at her feet.

“I’m not saying don’t be pissed at him,” Raven explained. “He can definitely be an asshole when he wants to be and more often when he doesn’t realize it. I’m just saying, at least for O’s sake, don’t write him off too quickly. He may just surprise you.” 

Clarke snorted as they headed back inside. “We’ll see.”

Then Raven smiled wickedly and threw an arm around Clarke’s shoulder. “And hey, maybe you should bone. Ease the tension.”

Clarke smacked the other girl in the arm and was saved from having to respond, or even think about the comment much, by the appearance of a wobbly Monty in the doorway.

“Where’ve you been?” Monty asked, only slightly slurring his words. “I need to school you at darts again, Griffin.”

“In your dreams, Green,” Clarke said with a smile she was sure didn’t quite meet her eyes.

The rest of the night passed and Clarke was fairly certain she did a better job of hiding her discomfort each time Octavia mentioned her brother after that. Even still, she caught Raven giving her a look a few times as if she could see the fight going on inside Clarke’s head.

On the one hand, she really wanted to believe Octavia and Raven when they talked about this amazing man that Bellamy supposedly was. The truth was, she really didn’t know him. They hadn’t even actually met yet. Their entire opinion on each other was based on a two-minute interaction in front of a mailbox.

On the other hand, his words had really hurt. She had spent so much of her life trying to prove she was more than her name so his words really hit home. No matter how much she may want to believe in that person if just for the sake of her new friends, she wasn't ready to let go just yet. Raven had mentioned that Bellamy was stubborn. She had no idea. Bellamy Blake was going to have to do a lot to convince her he was worthy of the praises Raven and Octavia bestowed on him.

And something told her he wasn’t going to think Clarke was worth his time.

When she finally made it home a bit after three, she took a minute on her balcony to watch the full moon reflect off the river in hopes its calm currents could slow her overactive mind. That’s when she saw his telltale smoke drifting up from the floor below. She sighed before very quietly going back inside. She had no idea what she was going to do.

That night her dreams were plagued by images of unruly curls and tiaras that she wouldn’t remember in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.
> 
> For those that are curious, there is a playlist that goes with this fic.
> 
> If you don't mind some light spoilers (more like hints) each song is the title of a chapter. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).


	4. Gives You Hell

  


It had been two weeks since the Princess moved into Arkadia and it seemed that the more Bellamy tried to avoid her the more she kept popping up.

The first time it happened was again at the mailboxes. When Bellamy got home from work early one morning, there Clarke was. This time the string tight attitude and perfectly smooth pencil skirt from before were replaced with a band hoodie and a messy I-just-woke-up bun of blonde curls. She had headphones in and was bopping along to some song, so she didn't hear him approach.

When Clarke finally spotted him, the easy smile and happy dancing instantly stopped. With a quick glare, she gathered up what was left in her mailbox and stormed upstairs. Bellamy could hear her footsteps pounding all the way to level three.

Bellamy breathed out heavily and thought back to that glare. “If looks could kill,” he muttered to himself as he gathered his own mail and headed for his apartment. He refused to let her ruin another perfectly good day.

The second time it happened, he actually saw her but she didn't see him. It was bright and early on a Sunday morning and Bellamy was just finishing a run. Sundays were his favorite weekly tradition. He rarely had work that day, so he made himself his own little routine. Up for a run by the river at seven, coffee at his favorite coffee shop, Second Dawn, on the way back at eight, home to get ready, before meeting Octavia at Mount Weather for brunch. This little routine helped ensure that Sunday was Bellamy’s favorite day of the week.

So, of course, she had to wiggle her way into that too.

“Good morning, Bellamy,” Gina, the cute barista at Second Dawn said with the flirty smile he was sure got her tips from nearly everyone, “you're early today. Must have made good time.”

“Your flattery won't get you a bigger tip you know,” Bellamy teased back lightly.

“I know that,” Gina says, putting his cup to the side for the next barista in the line to make, “which is why I stopped trying long ago. You did make good time today though.”

Bellamy looked at his Fitbit and smiled. She was actually right. He had managed to shave a full two minutes off his run time.

Gina smirked when she realized she was right. Bellamy just resisted the urge to flip her off.

While he waited for his drink, he made his way over to one of the tall stools by the window. Normally he preferred the squashy armchairs in the back, but until he showered the last thing he needed was to ruin their upholstery. It was when he reached the window that he saw her.

From his position, he had a near-perfect view of the fountain in the plaza outside the coffee shop. This little square was where many of the shops and bistros in their part of town centered, and it was conveniently only about two blocks from their building. Bellamy should have expected to run into her here someday, but he certainly hadn't been expecting it during his two years running Sunday routine.

Clarke was sitting outside by the fountain. Each time he saw her, she seemed so different than that first day he saw her. Today she was in a pretty sundress and strappy sandals with her hair thrown up into another messy bun. She seemed to be sketching some pigeons who were pecking around at some crumbs she had thrown down at her feet. When one particularly excited bird got too close and then ruffled up all its feathers in an attempt to get away, Clarke laughed and Bellamy felt his stomach drop.

It wasn’t like he could deny she was attractive. But with her surly expression and glares, it was hard to see anything beyond hard lines and a pretty face. Today was different, though. Everything about her was softer. Her smile, her eyes, even the way she held herself. All of that was nothing compared to when she laughed. Her whole body shook with it. Though he couldn't hear the sound, something told him it would be as bright and beautiful as she was in that moment.

Bellamy couldn't help being confused. How could this bright, beautiful, happy woman be the same as the angry one he had seen? He had to question if it was his fault. Maybe this person sitting by the fountain was the Clarke that Octavia knew and the Clarke who glared daggers was saved only for him. For reasons he refused to examine too closely, the thought made him a bit sick.

When his name was called he was reluctant to leave the sight of this happy Clarke. Maybe he had judged her too quickly. He made sure she didn't see him as he left. The image of her smile stayed with him through the entirety of brunch.

The third time it happened, he found himself surprised yet again. It was nearly midnight on a Saturday and he realized all his uniforms for the next week were dirty. Making the trek to the ground floor laundry room was always a pain, but at least there wasn't likely to be anyone else there at this hour on a Saturday night. When he got there, he found he was wrong.

Sitting on top of a running dryer, Clarke was there in tiny sleep shorts, a Fall Out Boy tank top, and hair down in waves over her shoulders. Thanks to the headphones she had in again, she didn't hear him coming. Like the time at the mailbox, she was bopping along to whatever song she was listening to and playing what looked like Angry Birds on her phone.

Bellamy took a deep breath before opening the washer a few down from her. The motion caused her to look up and frown a bit.

“Little late to do laundry,” Bellamy said when she took out one headphone.

“You realize you are literally down here at the exact same time as me for the exact same reason, right?” Clarke asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Realized I was out of work clothes,” he replied. “Also, I assumed it would be empty down here at this hour on a Saturday.”

“Yeah well,” Clarke said, shrugging her shoulders, and motioning between them, “great minds and all that.”

Bellamy snorted. “I'm surprised you aren't out,” he said. “No Met Gala’s or charity dinners this weekend?”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “I could say the same to you,” she replied, “or maybe you just ran out of neighbors to yell at and thought you would find some in the laundry room?”

“Well,” Bellamy smirked, “good thing I found you then, huh, Princess?”

“Why do you call me that,” Clarke asked, fire back in her eyes.

“I just call them as I see them,” Bellamy explained. “Every time someone moves into that penthouse apartment, especially when they are a young, attractive girl, they are always spoiled. Most of the time their parents bought it for them. After a few months of slumming it here on the east side, they get bored. They miss their big-city friends and crazy clubs and they leave.”

“You don't even know me,” Clarke said. Surprisingly, her voice sounded less angry and more disappointed. “I won't act like I didn't come from a place of privilege because I did. All those stupid dinners and important people and Ivy League aspirations followed me for years. When I finally did get into a great school to become a doctor, I realized that wasn't who I was. Wasn’t who I wanted to be. My mom wasn't thrilled that I wanted to throw away a potential med degree to go to art school, but I realized that I just wanted to be someone different.”

Clarke jumped down and started piling her now dry clothes into a basket. “I worked hard to get where I am. I did well in school, found my own job, and pay every dime of my apartment myself. You can go on thinking whatever the hell you want about me, but don't act like you know my story. You may think I'm just some spoiled princess, but you, Bellamy Blake, are just a judgemental asshole.”

With that, she was gone, leaving Bellamy confused and feeling like she may be right. He didn't know Clarke at all.

Despite his increasingly icy relationship with the girl, she and Octavia seemed to just get closer and closer. More than once he had come home to the sound of the two of them, sometimes with a few others, laughing in the living room to some movie or video game. Bellamy always shut himself in his room when they were there. There were a few momentary awkward run-ins in the kitchen or by the bathroom, but they both did their best to ignore each other when it happened.

Since that day in the laundry room neither had said more than five words to each other. Octavia was constantly badgering him to come to hang out with them, but Clarke always tensed up at the suggestion and Bellamy wasn't much keener on it so he always declined. When Octavia mentioned they we’re going to have a sleepover at Clarke’s one night, Bellamy was more than happy to oblige. At least he knew he would have one night of peace.

The sounds of their laughter and music drifted down most of the night. Bellamy wanted to be annoyed, but he couldn't muster it up. He knew Octavia was happy, and that was all he ever really wanted for her. Even if it was because of a friendship with someone he didn’t like.

September came quickly and Bellamy realized the year was nearly over. It was kind of shocking how fast time was going. He found himself musing over this as he sat on his balcony and watched the sun go down. The thing Bellamy loved most about fall was the sunsets. Something about the cooling weather and patchwork of clouds dotting the sky made the pinks and oranges and red reflect that much better on the river below. Sometimes it made the Earth look like it was on fire. He had barely lit his first cigarette when he heard the doors open above him and Clarke shuffle outside the telltale creak of patio furniture as she sat down, and her contented sigh.

Bellamy couldn’t help but wonder if she was as amazed by the view as he was.

After a few more minutes enjoying the rapidly cooling evening, Bellamy went back inside. It had been a long as fuck week so, after staring into his fridge for a solid and he didn't have the energy to make himself dinner. So he decided to go out. Besides, he could use some company.

This week had been the annual Coalition meeting. Each year a different city hosted the week-long event honoring dignitaries and ambassadors from countries around the world, and this time it was their city’s turn. Kane Security, of course, got the contract to protect all of the dignitaries, so Bellamy had barely seen his apartment. He was responsible for three days worth of security checks on the building and surrounding areas along with the first four days of security detail. Luckily, Kane had Murphy doing the final four days before he and Bellamy both spent two days overseeing the final breakdown of the event’s security. Bellamy and Murphy were both lead guards at the firm, so one or the other always had to be on for these big assignments.

Needless to say, after a full week of twelve-hour days, Bellamy was wiped. He was grateful to have four days off before diving back in. Suffice it to say, he was not going to waste it.

Calling up Wick, they decided to grab a bite at Mount Weather before heading to a bar. Apparently, Wick had heard about this bar called TonDC that he was pretty sure he had heard his sister mention. It was just a few blocks from Arkadia, a good halfway point to Wick’s building, the Dropship. Though he hadn’t been there yet it had a good reputation for strong, cheap drinks and a low level of drama. He figured, why not? It had to be better than sitting around his apartment bored all night. Octavia was undoubtedly out with Clarke somewhere, so TonDC it was.

Wick, per his usual charming self, pulled no punches bringing up the inevitable.

“So,” Wick said with a smirk once they have finished their first beers and Bellamy was beating him tremendously at pool, “how are things going with Arkadia’s princess?”

Bellamy groaned and missed his shot. He flipped Wick off and filled his glass again.

“That well, huh?”

“I'm telling you she's everywhere,” Bellamy complained. “It's like I can't escape her. Mailbox, laundry room, my apartment, even my fucking coffee shop isn't safe!”

“Maybe it's a sign,” Wick said as he misses a shot. He managed to sink two balls though, so he's starting to catch up.

Bellamy swore under his breath. “Yeah,” he said, “a sign of how much the universe fucking hates me maybe.”

Wick laughed. “I don't know, Blake,” he said, “there's got to be some reason you two are so damn in sync. I didn't even run into you that much when we shared a dorm freshman year.”

“That's because you were sleeping with the RA two floors up. You spent more time in her bed than your own.”

“Yeah, well.”

Finally, Wick seemed to drop it. All Bellamy hoped was for one damn night he could think about something other than the infuriating issue that was Princess Clarke.

After two games of pool (both of which Bellamy won) and a full pitcher of beer, Bellamy was doing very well in his pursuit of a Clarke- free evening. His week of work and Arkadia drama all seemed very far away.

He felt he should have been much more surprised than he was when the door opened and Octavia, Raven, a girl he didn't know, and of course Clarke walked in. As it was, Bellamy just started laughing a bit hysterically, causing Wick to shoot him a strange look. All Bellamy could do was point.

When Wick’s eyes got wide and a blush filled his cheeks, the truth set in. Kyle Wick, who had been nursing an impossibly large crush on Raven for years now, had heard about this bar from her. The two had a difficult back and forth relationship that led her into his bed some nights and into huge fights on others. Clearly right now they were back on. Raven was Octavia's best friend, so naturally, the two came here often. And, these days, where Octavia went Clarke was sure to follow.

Bellamy just sighed when Clarke's eyes met his and got comically large. He saw her nudge Octavia and whisper something in her ear.

Octavia's head snapped to look over and smiled and waved as soon as she saw him. Immediately she began ushering her group over to his.

“Hi, big brother!” Octavia said, giving him a one-armed hug. “I didn't know you would be here.” She dropped her voice low before continuing. “Please try to be nice. We really didn’t know you would be here, but I for one am sick of finding ways to keep you two apart. You are both adults. Act like it, at least for my sake.”

Bellamy sighed, nodded, and hugged her back, avoiding the eyes he could feel boring a hole in his head.

It was going to be a very long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do we think? Is Bellamy right and this is going to be a very long night? Or might there be some surprises in store? Stay tuned to find out!
> 
> For those that are curious, there is a playlist that goes with this fic.
> 
> If you don't mind some light spoilers (more like hints) each song is the title of a chapter. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).


	5. How to Be a Heartbreaker

  


“So that’s Bellamy,” Harper said as their group caught up with Octavia over by Bellamy’s pool table.

“The one and unfortunate,” Clarke replied.

“He’s pretty hot,” Harper said, heading to the bar to get them all drinks. It was Jasper’s night at the bar, so they were sure to be strong if not as good as Harper’s. “Just don’t tell Monty I said that.”

Raven snorted and rolled her eyes before going over to goad the other man Clarke assumed was Kyle Wick, if Raven’s frequent lamentations about him were any indication, the cute but infuriating mechanical engineer at Sinclair’s she was casually seeing. She liked to pretend he bugged her, but Clarke knew she liked him. At least this week.

Clarke mostly ignored them though, in favor of staring at the side of Bellamy’s head which, she noticed, was very determinedly not facing her.

Since the day in the laundry room where one too many glasses of wine lead to her confessing much more than she meant to, things had been different with them. Not better, precisely, but different. He seemed to spend a lot less time trying to rile her up and more time trying to pretend she didn’t exist at all. Sometimes Clarke almost missed the old Bellamy. If it was pity he felt, she didn’t want it. She was doing just fine and the last thing she needed was someone who didn’t even like her feeling bad for her.

When Octavia finally broke away from Bellamy to help Harper with their drinks, she couldn’t help noticing that he did look damn good tonight, not that she was about to tell Harper as much. He was wearing a black fitted t-shirt and a blue plaid flannel over the top with the sleeves pushed to his elbows over jeans that were dark and fit him perfectly. Suddenly she was more than a little glad Octavia had talked her into dressing up a little bit tonight.

Clarke had her hair half pulled into braids Octavia had done and the rest in tastefully messy waves and Raven had done her eyes to make them a light gray smoky color. The dress, however, was all Clarke. In fact, all three girls had raided Clarke’s closet. Octavia had ended up in a black leather skirt and purple spaghetti strap top that hugged her gentle curves just right with a shimmery silver shrug on her shoulders. Raven ended up in knee-high combat boots, black skinny jeans with tons of strategic distressing, and an off the shoulder red shirt that showed off her incredible collar bones. Clarke had picked out a short, sapphire blue dress with a cowl neck. Octavia had joked that they looked like the next X-Factor girl supergroup and made them take a million pictures. Harper told them they looked like the Mean Girls and she refused to be Lindsay Lohan.

Finally, Bellamy looked over when she was standing right beside him. If Bellamy’s once over was any indication, she looked just as good as she had hoped. She might not have dressed up specifically to affect him, but she wasn’t one to let an opportunity go to waste.

Bellamy cleared his throat and smirked, “Princess,” he said with a nod over his beer.

“You know,” Clarke said by way of greeting, “I’m starting to think that you’ve forgotten my name and are just too embarrassed to ask me. So I’ll save you the trouble. My name is Clarke. With an E on the end. There, now you don’t have to call me that anymore and we can both move on with our lives.”

“Princess, I couldn’t forget your name if I tried,” he said, his smirk growing wider. “All I ever hear around anymore is Clarke this, Clarke that. I’m going to Clarke’s. Clarke is going to bring me to the castle to meet the king and queen. Shit like that.”

Clarke stiffened a bit at the king remark but didn’t react. She didn't need to give him more fuel for his pity party for her. Luckily, she was saved from saying anything yet when Octavia and Harper returned with drinks.

“So,” Harper said, “you are the infamous Bellamy Blake. Man have I heard a lot about you. I’m Harper, by the way, Harper McIntyre. Since my friends are shit at introductions.”

Bellamy happily took the shot she offered him. “So,” he said with a cocky smile that Clarke absolutely, absolutely did not find sexy, “you’ve been talking about me.”

“Oh yeah,” Raven chimed in, leaving a dejected and decidedly annoyed-looking Kyle behind, “I don’t think she’s shut up about how big of an ass you are since you two met.”

“But at least she’s talked about me,” Bellamy said.

Clarke quirked an eyebrow. “Did you seriously just make a very badly executed reference to Pirates of the Caribbean?”

“I’m impressed,” Bellamy said, “these plebeians don’t generally get my references.”

“Either that or they are trying to not embarrass you by telling you how much you suck at making them.”

“I am offended at the accusation.”

“Somehow I doubt that.”

“Alright kids,” Octavia said in mock annoyance, “that’s enough verbal foreplay for one night.”

Both Clarke and Bellamy choked on their drink at the same time, causing all their companions to laugh hysterically.

The night proceeded on better than expected. Harper disappeared for a bit when Monty and Jasper showed up, Kyle and Raven managed to only argue about half as much as they flirted, and Octavia and Clarke managed to make their way to the dance floor when the DJ set up. Eventually, though, Clarke had to dial it back. Her feet were exhausted and the shots weren’t dulling it nearly enough.

When she headed back to the pool tables, she found Bellamy practicing. He looked like he was pretty good. She spoke before she could talk herself out of it.

“As fun as that looks, would you rather play against someone better than you?”

“I hope you’re not talking about yourself because I would really hate to embarrass you,” Bellamy looked up, grinning. “I mean, I'll play you, but you're dreaming if you think you can beat me.”

“Care to make it interesting then?” Clarke asked, already grabbing the chalk and the stick Kyle seemed to have forgotten about.

“What did you have in mind?” Bellamy asked, racking the balls.

Clarke tapped her chin and smiled. “Winner buys the whole group the next round of shots.”

Bellamy got entirely too close to her and her breath caught in her chest. He smelled like peppermint, lemon, and pine. Her thoughts stalled when he swiped his thumb across her chin, coming back with a bit of chalk she had left behind.

“You're on,” he said, finally stepping back towards the table, voice more gravelly than she had remembered it being before. She did her best to pretend the sound didn’t make her head spin.

As soon as he got far enough away, Clarke came back to her senses. If anything she was more determined than ever to beat him. “Great,” she said, “I'll break.”

The game was close. Every time she started to get the lead, he came from behind and knocked another ball or two in. Eventually, most of their group was standing around cheering for one or the other. Clarke was never more grateful for her father teaching her to play than when she knocked in the eight ball. She won by two balls.

“Ha!” She exclaimed. “That's shots on you, Blake!”

“You could at least pretend to be humble about it”

“Not on your life,” she said with a triumphant grin. “Now how about those shots?”

Bellamy groaned and flipped her off but agreed. He gave her shoulder a squeeze before heading to the bar. Her bare skin tinged long after he was gone.

After they all took their shots, Clarke decided she needed some air. Raven followed her out and handed her a cigarette without a question. Clarke hopped up on the little wall outside the bar and lit it, inhaling deeply and sighing.

“You know me too well already, Raven,” Clarke said.

“It's just that you’re a fairly predictable drunk,” Raven said. “Although, that game of pool was unexpected.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Clarke said with a snort. “I'm actually not bad.”

“That's not what I meant.”

“Good game, Clarke,” Bellamy said when he came outside.

“That's the first time you've said my name,” Clarke mentioned, “did you know that?”

“Didn't know you were paying that close of attention.” Bellamy’s eyes didn't leave Clarke's for a second. The effect was more than a little disconcerting.

“I'm going inside,” Raven said with a knowing smirk. “Try not to kill each other.”

“No promises,” Clarke called after her, still locked eyes with Bellamy.

Bellamy laughed at the comment and Clarke's stomach flipped. He really did have an amazing smile. She wasn't sure how she had never noticed before. Although she suspected it had something to do with his propensity to glare at her.

“Gotta say,” Bellamy said, lighting a cigarette of his own and leaning on the wall beside her, “playing pool, drinking beer and tequila like a champ, smoking cigarettes. Not what I expected from Arkadia’s new royalty.”

“See,” Clarke replied, “I told you I was no princess.”

Bellamy chuckled. “So who taught you to play? You're actually pretty good.”

“Good enough to beat your ass,” Clarke said back. She took another couple of drags before she answered his question. “My dad taught me. I remember he said no self-respecting daughter of his was going to go off to college not knowing how to shoot pool.”

“He sounds like my kind of guy.”

Clarke swallowed deeply and looked at her shoes. “He was.”

Bellamy turned to look at her. He was quiet for a long time before Clarke finally met his eye. She was glad to see his eyes shone with understanding and not pity.

“How long’s he been gone?” Bellamy asked quietly.

“Four years this January,” Clarke answered, surprising herself. “Shit, doesn't feel that long.”

“It never does,” Bellamy said. “My mom's been gone eight years as of July and dad's been gone since I was a kid. Doesn't matter how long, it always kind of feels like it was just the other day.”

“I know what you mean,” Clarke said, finishing her cigarette and flicking it into the parking lot.

They were quiet for a while as he finished his, with a silence which was surprisingly less awkward than she would have predicted. Maybe she had been wrong about him. Still, she wasn't quite ready to sing kumbaya and hug it out.

Clarke didn't speak again until they were about to go back inside. “You know,” she said, “this playing pool and mutual joining of the dead parents club doesn't make us friends or anything.”

Bellamy looked disappointed for a moment before his trademark cocky mask was back in place. “Trust me, princess,” he said, “I am fully aware we aren't going to be friends. But- but maybe, at least for O’s sake, we could try to be civil?”

Clarke studied his long eyelashes and network of freckles for a moment before she answered. “Yeah,” she said, “for Octavia.”

She held out her hand to him. He looked at it for a moment before taking it. “For Octavia.” She pretended the feel of his rough hand in hers didn’t send a chill up her spine.

It was close to four when she finally made it home and into bed. Clarke was surprised how smoothly the evening had gone and how much fun she ended up having. Yet all she seemed to be able to think about was the moment Bellamy stood inches from her face and wiped the chalk from her chin. That night, she went to bed frustrated and confused. She had no idea where they stood, but she had a feeling it wouldn't take long to figure it out.

The next morning, Clarke struggled to drag herself to work, more hungover than she had been in a long time. She was grateful that she didn't start until noon, but the midday sun was way too bright and Lincoln had way too many physical tasks for her. She was starting to wonder if he knew she was hungover and was using work as a punishment.

Around three, Octavia showed up to surprise her.

“Hey,” she said, handing Clarke a bag with a chocolate croissant and a coffee from the amazing coffee shop around the corner, “thought you could use a different kind of liquid courage after the night we had.”

Clarke laughed and accepted her friend's gift gratefully. “Oh man,” she said, “I haven't been this hungover since college. I'm seriously never drinking again.”

Octavia snorted. “Right,” she said, “I’ll believe that when I see it. Clearly you’ve forgotten about our plans this weekend.”

Clarke rolled her eyes and finished her croissant. “Whatever,” she said, “do you want the tour or not?”

“Please,” Octavia said, linking her arm with Clarke’s.

Around the third room or so, Octavia stopped and looked at Clarke.

“Everything alright?” Clarke asked.

“Yeah,” Octavia said, “it’s just- thank you. For last night I mean.”

“What are you talking about?” Clarke asked, genuinely confused.

“For not killing Bell,” Octavia replied. “I know my brother can be… difficult. He hasn’t been that nice to you since you’ve moved here and I should have been better about sticking up for you.”

“No way,” Clarke said, “I would never want to come in between you and your brother. Yes, he’s an ass, but that doesn’t mean you don’t love him. Family’s family right?”

“Still,” Octavia said, “you’re my friend and he hasn’t treated you well and I’m sorry. Anyways, I just wanted to thank you for how good you were with him last night. I haven’t seen him have fun like that in a while. With the Coalition meeting and everything, he’s been pretty stressed lately. I think going toe to toe with you helped loosen him up.”

“It wasn’t so bad actually,” Clarke said honestly, “I actually had a pretty good time kicking his ass.”

“It certainly seemed like it. In fact, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you two were a little flirty more than once last night.”

Clarke had to fight the blush that she was sure was creeping up her cheeks. “It wasn’t like that,” she insisted, “I’m just competitive like your brother. That and tequila.”

“So,” Octavia said with an all-knowing and slightly evil smile, “you’re telling me you're not the slightest bit attracted to Bellamy?”

“I plead the fifth on that,” Clarke said with a laugh, “but that’s irrelevant. Your brother is an ass who I do not get along with. His looks and charm are the least of my concern. Besides, even if he wasn’t a dick, I’m still not quite over my ex. Until that bitch has been put to rest, I’m not ready for anyone, much less your brother.”

Octavia studied Clarke for a minute before nodding. “Alright,” she said, “fair enough. But just so you know, in case you ever change your mind, I’m ok with it. I sort of think you two would be perfect for each other in a weird way.”

“Duly noted,” she said, “so can we continue the tour now?”

Octavia laughed and nodded.

Clarke showed Octavia around and her friend was properly excited by all the things she saw. Octavia may be a bit flighty and definitely didn’t understand art, but she was good at pretending that this was a world she cared about. Octavia was a good friend.

At the end of the tour, she brought her to the front to officially meet Maya. The two girls got along well, which made Clarke happy. Maya was a really cool girl and Clarke wanted to try to fold her into the fray of her merry band of delinquents eventually. They could use a voice of reason like her.

After a few minutes, Lincoln came out to let Clarke know the next shipment had arrived and needed to be cataloged. Octavia went uncharacteristically quiet to which Clarke couldn’t help but smile. Raven mentioned that Octavia didn’t always have the best taste in men. Her last boyfriend was self-destructive and the one before that had bailed out of nowhere. Octavia hadn’t really dated since. Seeing the attraction so plain on her friend’s face made her smile, especially since Lincoln was such a good man. Unsurprisingly, her boss seemed just as taken by Octavia as she clearly was with him.

“Is this your first time to Polis?” Lincoln asked.

“Yeah,” Octavia said, “I’ve been meaning to check it out for ages but now that Clarke’s working here I had to come to see what it was all about.”

“Care for a tour?” Lincoln asked. Clarke had to stop herself from laughing a bit.

“Sure!” Octavia said brightly. “I mean if you don’t mind of course. I’m sure you’re busy.”

“It would be my pleasure,” Lincoln said, taking her back along the exact path Clarke had taken her friend not a half-hour before.

“They look sweet together,” Maya said.

“It would be nice if someone could get Lincoln to smile every now and then,” Clarke said with a laugh.

“Don’t tease,” Maya said with a smile, “not all of us are so lucky as to find someone who makes us happy. I’d give anything for that kind of spark with someone.”

Clark glanced at Maya, a plan already forming. “Don’t worry,” she said, “I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before you meet someone. You’re pretty, smart, funny, and sweet. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”

Maya smiled. “That would require me going somewhere other than here and school.”

Clarke smiled back at her friend. “I think that could definitely be arranged.”

As Clarke made her way back to the storeroom, she couldn't help taking a moment to look back at both of her friends. Octavia was deeply engrossed in Lincoln, clearly not paying as much attention to his words as she was his jawline, and Maya staring after them with that wistful look in her eye of a girl who deeply wanted to fall in love. Clarke knew exactly what she needed to do.

Clarke may not be anywhere close to letting herself be open to love, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t help her friends find it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was a little late. Life happened and I forgot to post last night. But enjoy this chapter and yell at me all you want in the comments.
> 
> It’s getting good now 😜
> 
> For those that are curious, there is a playlist that goes with this fic.
> 
> If you don't mind some light spoilers (more like hints) each song is the title of a chapter. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).


	6. Dangerous Night

  


Bellamy was rudely awakened by his phone ringing way too early in the morning. He missed the call and rolled over to look at his clock. It was six on his day off. After a very long night, the last thing he wanted to do was to deal with someone when the sun was just barely beginning to paint its colors across the sky. However, when he saw the name on his missed call list he couldn't help but smile.

Nathan Miller, his best friend since he was old enough to know what a best friend was, who had been deployed on a ship in the middle of God knew where for the last year. For this man, he would make an exception. He eagerly hit redial and waited for the answer.

“Good morning asshole,” Miller said, a smirk clear in his voice.

“What the fuck are you doing calling me at this hour?” Bellamy asked with faux annoyance.

“Just figured you would want the good news before anyone else,” Miller said. “I'm moving home. My tour ended a bit earlier than expected and that was my last one. I'm going to be out for good.”

Bellamy took a minute to reply. “You're done?” He asked, a grin on his face.

“I'm done.”

“For good?”

Miller chuckled. “I didn't know you became a parrot while I was gone,” he said. “Yes I'm coming home for good. My contract ended and I decided not to re-up as active. I’ll still be in the reserves but it’s way less commitment. So, I'm coming home. And actually, I have more news.”

“Well shit,” Bellamy said with a smile threatening to break his face, “lay it on me. I could use as much good news as possible after the month I've had.”

“I'm moving into Arkadia,” Miller said plainly.

“Fuck, seriously,” Bellamy said, “well that's the best news I've gotten in awhile. Moving into Pike’s old spot I take it?”

“Got it in one,” Miller replied. “But hey, I actually have to go. My flight is just about to board. I just thought I would fill you in. I'll be moved in on at least an air mattress by the end of the day. My flight touches down around four.”

“Do you need a ride back from the airport?”

“Nah, man. I'm good. My dads getting me. Would love to see you when I get to the building through”

Bellamy smiled. “You got it.”

“I'll be glad to be home,” Miller said. “I'm looking forward to having a home that's not moving.”

“Thanks for the call,” Bellamy said. “Apparently I'll see you soon.”

They hung up the call and Bellamy couldn't help but be happy. He loved his friends here, Wick was a godsend and his sister was amazing, but Miller understood him. Life had been more than a little chaotic lately and Miller was the rock to his turbulence. Now that he was coming home, and to live in the same building as him, Bellamy found himself much less irritated with the time of day.

Getting up to get coffee, he ran into Octavia in the hallway.

“Why do you look like you just got laid?” Octavia asked with a smirked. “Am I going to have to console some poor girl whose heart you just broke… again.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes and continued into the kitchen with Octavia following behind. “Brat,” he said, “but no. Miller called. He's moving back to town. His flight just took off and he should be back in about twelve hours. And he's moving into Arkadia.”

Octavia brightened. “That's awesome,” she said, “you could use someone to keep you from being so fucking dull.”

“You're hysterical,” Bellamy deadpanned.

“Hey,” Octavia said, with the slightly evil look in her eye she tended to get when she had an idea that would likely get her into trouble, “we should throw a welcome home party!”

Bellamy groaned. Of course, Octavia's mind would go straight to drinking. “O,” he said, “the man's been overseas for a year. I'm sure he wants to get settled and maybe sleep.”

Octavia rolled her eyes and poured him a cup of coffee she had brewed before he even woke up. “Oh please,” she said, “he's been stuck on a cramped, stinky, boring-ass ship. If anything, he’ll want to get laid. Besides, as if he won't want a chance to cut loose and try to find a new sexy man to take home to a bed big enough for two. Have you met Miller?”

Bellamy laughed but conceded she had a point. “Alright,” he said, “so we throw him a party, then. But nothing crazy and not in our apartment. I don't feel like cleaning up after everyone while hungover yet again tomorrow.”

“Alright,” Octavia said, “so we go out. If nothing else, he deserves a real welcome home.”

“For once,” Bellamy said, “you and I are in full agreement. Alright. Gather the cavalry. Let's have a party.”

“Where were you thinking?” Octavia asked with a knowing smile he refused to analyze.

Bellamy thought for a minute before smiling. “Let's do TonDC,” he said. “The drinks are cheap, the DJ isn't bad, and they have pool and darts. It's perfect.”

Octavia smiled and shook her head. “Whatever you want, big brother.”

Bellamy didn't begin to question his decision until he called Wick later to invite him along.

“You are suggesting TonDC?” Wick said.

“Yes?” Bellamy replied.

“I'm just surprised I guess,” Wick said, the sound of his tinkering audible in the background. “I mean, last time we were there her royal highness showed up. From what I gathered, she goes there a lot. Surprised you're willing to risk the run in for a second time.”

Bellamy considered that for a minute. Part of him was concerned about his next inevitable run-in with Clarke. She got under his skin in a way no one had in a very long time. Still, he wasn't about to let his discomfort with her stop him from going somewhere he honestly liked. Anyway, last time hadn't really been all that bad. “I hear you,” he said, “but I'm not worried about it. She was there last time and is not like the world burned down in a rain of hellfire or anything.”

“So what I'm hearing,” Wick said, “is you're starting to actually like her.”

Bellamy scoffed. “I'm not sure I would go that far,” he said. “All I'm saying is her showing up wouldn't be the end of the world. Turns out Princesses aren't half bad at pool.”

Wick chuckled. “Whatever you say, man,” he said, “I'm down either way. Especially since Raven will be there. What time do you need me?”

“Eight o'clock or so should be fine.”

“I'll be there.”

It was nearly six when Miller came knocking at Bellamy's door. The two boys slapped each other hard on the back as they embraced.

“Welcome back, cadet,” Bellamy said.

“Wrong branch, bro,” Miller said, “try lieutenant.”

“Whatever,” Bellamy said, ushering his friend inside, “welcome home regardless.”

“Thanks,” Miller said, “it's a little weird knowing I won't be shipping out again in six months. Good weird, but weird nonetheless.”

“I'll bet,” Bellamy said, pouring Miller and himself a glass of his top-shelf scotch. He wasn't one to bring out the expensive stuff often, but this seemed like the perfect opportunity. “So, I'm pretty sure I need to get you a bomb meal and someone to warm your bed. Or is that just for sailors on leave.”

“Even if it is,” Miller said, “I'm not turning either of those things down. What did you have in mind?”

Bellamy smiled to himself. He should have known Octavia would be right. “Well,” he said, “there's this bar near here I think you'll like. It's nothing special but the drinks and wings are good, they have a couple of pool tables, and there's bound to be at least one hot guy for you to hit on.”

Miller laughed heartily and downed the rest of his drink. “Sounds good,” he said, “when do we leave?”

Two hours later, the guys walked up to the bar after they had spent some time catching up. Miller told Bellamy about his stories of foreign ports and training exercises in the Gulf. Bellamy told him the much less exciting stories of the guard and Arkadia. It had been awesome having him back, but now both were ready to drink.

Walking into the bar, Miller was quickly overtaken by Octavia’s over-enthusiastic hug. “I'm so glad you're home,” she said.

Miller smiled and gave her back the hug just as enthusiastically. “I'm glad to see you again too, O,” he said.

“I can't believe you're living in our building,” Octavia said. “Maybe now my brother won't be such a fucking grumpy old man.”

“Hey,” Bellamy said, “I'm not old.”

“Yes,” Miller said, “that's the part of that statement you should be focusing on.”

“Fine,” Bellamy said, rolling his eyes, “let's get drunk, shall we?”

“Here here!” Miller said, heading toward the bar.

Bellamy was glad to see Jasper bartending tonight. He always poured the drinks strong.

“Hey, Bellamy,” Jasper said, “what can I get you?”

“Ballast Point, please,” Bellamy said.

Jasper chuckled a bit before nodding and starting to fill the beer. Bellamy couldn't figure out what that was about but decided to let it go.

“What about you,” Jasper said to Miller, “what can I get for the returning hero.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes and Raven walked up to them both and spoke up .“Don't mind Jasper,” she said, “He has all the subtlety of a nuclear bomb hitting D.C. He’ll take a tequila and Coke with two limes. It's good to see you, Miller.”

The two embraced and laughed. “It's good to be seen,” Miller said, “and to see you still know my drink. I'm flattered.”

Raven rolled her eyes and hauled herself up onto a barstool. “Don't be,” she said, “that nauseating concoction will always be you. Also, will always remind me of college.”

“Ah yes,” Miller said, “well beggars can't be choosers. If I remember correctly you came to me looking to get drunk since I was the only one with a fake and Bellamy wasn’t gonna buy it. That means you get to deal with what I'm drinking.”

“I do not need to think about you supplying my little sister and her friends with alcohol,” Bellamy groaned, scrubbing a hand across his face.

“Neither here nor there now, bro,” Miller said, “those little girls aren't so little anymore.”

“You know,” Bellamy said, “if I didn't know you were gay that statement would be a hell of a lot more creepy.”

Miller just laughed before dragging them both to play pool. Bellamy couldn't help but flashback to the last person he played pool with at this table. His mouth immediately went dry.

“Alright,” Miller said, “I'll be nice and let you break. Gotta give you at least some advantage.”

Bellamy smirked at his friend, “I look forward to wiping that smug look off your face.”

The night proceeded on well and Bellamy couldn't help but enjoy himself. Even still, every time the door opened he looked up expecting a familiar head of blonde hair to appear and simultaneously disappointed when it didn’t. He decided not to dwell too hard on that fact and each time the feeling weaseled its way into his chest again he silenced it with another shot. It was a little after ten when another face he knows makes it through the door.

“Wick!” he said, enthusiastically, giving his friend a hearty pat on the back when he makes it to the group. “I’m glad you made it. Wick, this is my best friend since I was a kid, Nathan Miller. Miller, this is my best friend from college and beyond, Kyle Wick. You two will get along sorely based on the fact that you insist on going by your surnames.”

“Only Bellamy could fuck up the word solely and still use surnames properly in a sentence when he’s drunk,” Wick said, extending his hand for Miller to shake. “It’s great to meet you. I’ve heard many stories. This is my friend Zeke Shaw. He’s new at the shop but we went to high school together.”

“I promise at least half of the stories were either not true, sensationalized, or entirely Bellamy’s fault,” Miller said, returning the handshake.

Wick laughed quickly but faltered when Raven walked up. “Hey there, Greasemonkey,” he said with a grin, a faint blush staining his cheeks.

Raven grinned. “Wick,” she said in greeting. “And you brought Shaw. It’s good to see you in normal clothes.”

“I’m going to just assume that was a compliment and move on,” Shaw said with a smile

“Um,” Wick stammered, “right. So. Drinks? Yeah? I know I’d like one. You thirsty, Miller.”

“I’m a sailor just out of the military, what do you think.”

Bellamy smiled at his two closest friends making their way to the bar. Despite the drunk fuzziness of the evening, something about this night made his world feel like it was shifting. It seemed everything was falling into place for him.

Now if he could only stop thinking about a certain golden-haired princess. He frowned into his empty glass.

“Don’t worry, big brother,” Octavia said and she made her way over to him, slinging an arm around Bellamy’s shoulder, “those two will hit it off but you will still be number one, Rebel King.”

Bellamy furrowed his brow at the moniker, “Rebel King?” he asked. “What does that mean?”

Raven just laughed and downed the last of her beer. “You haven’t noticed,” she said, answering for his sister. It was not a question, not really. “Look around, Blake. We are a bunch of scattered delinquents with fucked up lives and uncertain futures. Most of us would never have gotten along. But these people? They’re here for you. Even the new additions.”

Raven’s chin jerked in the direction of the bar where a very drunk Miller was trying to hit on an exceptionally amused Jasper while Wick chatted with Harper who had just arrived to help for the night’s last four hours. Bellamy couldn’t help but smile, albeit a bit drunkenly, at his band of merry delinquents, or something like that.

“Face it, Bell,” Octavia said, “you are the Rebel King. You and I and everyone here would fit in quite well on the isle of misfit toys.”

Bellamy chuckled at the reference. He had made Octavia watch those movies since he was a kid. He was surprised she remembered. Still, he couldn't help but needle her. “The island didn’t have a king, O,” he said, “that was the whole point.”

Octavia waved her hand dismissively, “Semantics.”

“Big words for someone who-”

Bellamy was interrupted by the sound of the door opening again. He frowned a bit when he realized it was Monty.

“You could look a little happier to see me, Bellamy,” Monty said as he approached.

Bellamy smiled sheepishly, “I am,” he said, “it’s just, well- what I mean to say is-”

“He’s trying very hard to pretend he’s not waiting for Clarke to show up,” Jasper supplied, having made his way to the group at some point, “but the real question is whether it’s because he wants to bang her or doesn’t want to see her.”

Bellamy could feel his ears getting pink and shoved Jasper, playfully.

“He definitely wants to bang her,” Monty said with a sly grin. Bellamy just dropped his head in his hands and groaned.

“Oh,” Octavia said, “that is really not a mental image I wanted, so thanks for that.” She shook her head and headed for the bar. “I need another drink. Anyone else want anything? No? Good.”

“Oh, Monty,” Jasper said, having moved on apparently, “this is Nathan Miller, by the way. Bellamy’s best friend, ex-navy sailor, and newest resident in Arkadia.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Miller said, “but you can just call me Miller. Literally, no one calls me Nathan.”

“I’m Monty Green,” Monty replied, “and absolutely no one calls me Green.”

Miller laughed and slung an arm around Monty’s shoulders and turned them toward the crowd. “So which one of these lovely humans do you belong to,” Nathan said, slurring a bit. “A guy as attractive as you must belong to someone.”

“Come on,” Monty said, leading the very drunk Miller to the bar, “I will formally introduce you to Harper.”

Bellamy quirked an eyebrow and laughed but Miller missed it, having enough difficulty putting one foot in front of the other. Bellamy decided to give them a minute and head over to a very pissed off looking Raven.

“What’s with you,” Bellamy asked.

“Your friend is infuriating,” Raven replied, downing her drink, “one minute he’s telling me off about the mechanics behind the long term space shuttle our company is working on as if he knows fuck all about mechanics, and the next he’s asking me out. Who does he think he is?”

“Ah, Wick,” Bellamy grinned, “did you say yes?”

Raven looked taken aback and flushed before the anger slammed back into her face. “It was more like I yelled fine in his face,” she said, “but seriously! Right then! And all he had to say was good, kissed me on the cheek, and went to get a beer.”

“Good,” Bellamy said, “the you saying yes bit, I mean. The rest is- well it wouldn’t be the two of you if the whole thing was romantic with flowers and dramatic gestures in public or something.”

Raven visibly deflated and shrugged. “Yeah,” she said, “that wouldn’t have worked on me.”

“Which Wick knows,” Bellamy said, ”thus the unconventional method. I’m just glad he finally grew a pair and made it more official than the occasional romp.”

Raven rolled her eyes and then scoffed. “I need a drink,” she said, “wanna come?”

“Nah,” Bellamy said, “go flirt and argue and then flirt some more.”

Raven winked and then headed to the bar. He had been drinking far too fast and realized the night was nearly over. Leaning against the unfinished game of pool he and Miller had started an hour ago, he looked around at his friends and suddenly felt very lonely. Harper and Monty were clearly well on their way up the aisle, Raven and Wick might finally start to be something outside of the bedroom, even Jasper and Miller had paired off. Bellamy sighed just as Octavia made her way to him.

“Why so blue, Bell?” she asked.

“Do you ever worry about getting left behind?” Bellamy asked.

“Sometimes,” Octavia replies, “especially when things are going well for you. For a long time, you were all I had. I know that’s not true anymore and I know these idiots need me, but still-”

“O.”

“Stop,” she said, “I don’t blame you. You have been an amazing brother and pseudo-father to me. Which is all kinds of fucked, but whatever. I guess all I’m saying is, someday, you’re gonna find your happy ending and won’t need me anymore. I just don’t want to end up alone. I know that’s weak and stupid. No one should rely on someone else for their happiness. I just don’t want to end up alone.”

Bellamy laughed and pulled his sister in for a tight hug. “You won’t end up alone, little sister,” he said, “that’s a promise. Look around. These people are all your family too. No one is leaving. Especially not me. Even if I do manage to find that happy ending, what kind of happily ever after would it be if it didn’t include my sister?”

Octavia smiled and brushed a lone tear from her cheek. “Yeah,” she said, “I do know that. But getting back to you, I do understand how you feel. And your sentiment? It’s mutual. You’re never going to be alone. One day you’re going to wake up and suddenly be in love with someone and your whole life is gonna change. You just wait.”

Bellamy couldn’t explain why at the exact moment Octavia said that Clarke’s smile took over his mind. And didn’t leave.

When he finally went home for the night at half-past three, she had never shown up. He headed to his patio for one last cigarette and tried to wrap his head around why that fact made him so disappointed. He found that part of him wasn’t ready to face the answer. Not yet. But maybe soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for being late again. I got in a fight with my mood board. Still fairly certain it won and not me, but I degree. I hope you can forgive me!
> 
> For those that are curious, there is a playlist that goes with this fic.
> 
> If you don't mind some light spoilers (more like hints) each song is the title of a chapter. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).


	7. Only Love

  


Clarke was more than a little happy when she finally put the key in her lock at the end of her very long night. Polis had played host to a big artist from the city that night who wanted to have his big art show in a more “hipster” location, whatever the hell that meant. Regardless, the event had lasted until just past one in the morning, which meant she was stuck overseeing the breakdown of the displays, paying the caterers, and making sure the place would be ready for the next day. Thankfully, Lincoln had been nice enough to give her the next day off so she could sleep.

Despite her exhaustion, however, sleep felt very far away. The energy from the night had sunk into her very bones and she still had enough adrenaline that she wasn't quite ready to go to bed.

Instead of going to lie down, she decided to change into her comfy flannel pjs, pop open a beer, wrap herself in the softest throw blanket she had draped over her couch, and sit out on her balcony to watch the river. The scene was soothing and the soft sound of the river always helped ease away her tension. It wasn't long later that she heard the telltale sound of her downstairs neighbor opening and then closing their door.

Clarke smiled a bit and waited. If it was Octavia, she would hear someone knocking around in the kitchen before shutting the lights off and going to bed. If it was Bellamy, she would hear the balcony door slide open, the creak of the chair that was closest to the balcony's edge, and the telltale stream of smoke from his nighttime cigarette gently carry up past her on the wind. Hardly a minute later, the door opened, the chair creaked, and she saw the smoke. 

She smirked despite herself. There was something comforting in that too, she supposed. The routine, the predictability of her neighbors, and the way Arkadia had already become home. She glanced at her watch and saw it was past three. She frowned, wondering what had kept him out so late. She frowned more wondering why she was wondering. Taking a long drink from her bottle, she decided not to dwell too much on it.

Looking out over the water, she found herself curious about the man below her. Despite the hour, he was clearly alone. Come to think of it, he never seemed to be with anyone other than his sister or Wick. It wasn't like a guy like him couldn't get a girl. Even she could see he was attractive — if you ignored the whole asshole thing. Still, though, there was no one like that in his life.

When the door opened and closed again and the lights turned off, she forced herself to stop thinking about it. Clarke had enough issues without trying to figure out why a man she didn't like was single.

A few minutes later, she went back inside quietly, tossed her empty bottle in the bin, and crawled into bed. She fell asleep quickly, doing her best to ignore the fact that her mind seemed to want to think about nothing more than olive skin, brown eyes, and curly hair.

It was a gorgeous, early fall day when Clarke woke up the next morning and she was extremely excited to have a Saturday to herself. After poking around her embarrassingly empty fridge, she decided to head to her favorite coffee shop. Grabbing her sketchbook, she set out into the brisk but sunny day with the intention of coffee, an apple crisp muffin, and an afternoon of drawing by the river.

When she walked up to the shop, she smiled a bit at the mess of curls she saw hunched over a well-worn book. Of course, he was here. She shook her head and headed to the counter.

After ordering, she didn't think and just went and plopped down across from Bellamy.

“You know,” Clarke said, startling him, “if I didn't know better I would think you were stalking me.”

Bellamy smirked and rolled his eyes. “Always so self-centered, princess. Besides, I was here first. How would that work exactly?”

Clarke smirked back, “I just call them as I see them.”

“Or,” he said, turning to face her more fully, “maybe you and I just have more in common than we thought we did.”

Clarke tapped her chin in thought and then shook her head. “No,” she teased, smiling, “that can't be it. You must be stalking me.”

Bellamy laughed and the sound reverberated through Clarke's chest. She found she wanted to make him do that more. His face lit up when he smiled and she actually rather liked it. He should smile more.

“Whatever you say, your highness.”

Clarke took a sip of her far too hot coffee, winced, and paused. Before she could talk herself out of it, she found herself speaking. “What are you doing today?”

Bellamy raised an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side. “Thus far,” he said, “my plans went as far as this.”

“Do you want to take a walk with me?” Clarke said.

Bellamy’s face mirrored the surprise she herself felt, but he recovered quickly and shrugged. “Yeah,” he replied, “why not?”

The unlikely pair left the coffee shop and meandered their way toward the river. The silence between them was fairly awkward but not necessarily unpleasant. 

They were already near the river by the time Clarke spoke again. “I like coming down here to draw,” she said, wistfully looking at the families running around, joggers in their neon tracksuits whizzing by, and couples strolling by the riverside wrapped up in nothing more than each other.

“I can see why,” Bellamy said. “There’s a lot of inspiration.”

Clarke glanced at him, pleasantly surprised. “Yeah,” she told him, “sometimes the hardest part is figuring out what to draw.”

Bellamy nodded. “Let me guess,” he said, “sometimes the problem is more about having too much to draw from as opposed to not enough. I can understand that.”

“Maybe you do get me, Bellamy Blake,” Clarke huffed out with a laugh before carrying on. 

They wandered quite a way from the main square talking about nothing in particular, more often than not in silence, until the people began to thin out and the tree coverage got thick enough to blot out most of the light. Clarke was entranced by the way the little light that made it through the thick canopy shone off random things and cast long and oddly-shaped shadows every which way. Eventually, they stopped at a small park right near the bank of the river. It was full of weeds and the monkey bars had started to rust, but in the corner was a perfectly good swing set. She looked over at Bellamy and quirked an eyebrow and smiled. He smiled back before they both rushed off to try to beat the other to the swings. She collapsed on the cracking leather with a triumphant whoop as she tried to catch her breath.

Bellamy smiled at her with a look she couldn’t identify and Clarke’s stomach dropped out from below her. Finally, he broke eye contact and began to slowly swing. It took a moment for her to regain her breath after that.

“So Raven got Monty a job at her shop,” Clarke said, trying to focus on something else, “I think he has a bit of a man-crush on Kyle and a healthy one growing on Shaw too.”

“Still weird you call him that,” Bellamy said, chuckling. “That is awesome though. I think he’ll really do well there. Lord knows he’s a big enough nerd.”

“You’re not wrong,” Clarke said with a laugh. She pumped her legs as hard as she could, partly to see if she could get higher than Bellamy and partly because it made her feel like she was flying. She loved feeling like she had left gravity behind and could just soar straight to the stars.

“I like your friends,” Bellamy admitted, “they’re good people. Jasper scares me a bit, especially when he starts talking about brewing moonshine in the bathtub, but still. Good people.”

Clarke grinned, inexplicably pleased by his statement. “They’re good people,” she said, “but I definitely recommend sticking with your gut about the moonshine There’s been more than one party they’ve thrown that I can’t quite remember as a direct result of something he and Monty cooked up. They are brilliant but also so very, very stupid.”

Bellamy laughed again, the one that lit up his face, and suddenly Clarke was very glad she was already sitting. Clarke turned her swing to face him.

“Tell me something about you, Bellamy,” she said before she could stop herself.

“What do you want to know?”

“Something real. Something I don’t know or couldn’t guess.”

“I’m working on my dissertation,” he said, a slight blush staining his cheeks, “did you know that?”

“No, Clarke said, “that’s amazing. How much do you have left to go?”

“More than I would like,” Bellamy said, furrowing his brow, “I keep getting stuck. The Latin or French or Italian or whatever translations of some of these myths don’t line up with their English counterparts and it’s fucking infuriating. How can I prove that modern storytellers are warping the intention of the original source material when they do their reboots if I have to retranslate every goddamn piece I come across.”

“Sounds interesting at least,” Clarke said, enjoying watching how passionately Bellamy spoke of this subject.

“Oh it is,” he said, eyes bright and words spoken too quickly from excitement. “Right now I’m examining Metamorphoses by Ovid. It’s one of the most underrated epic poems in history, but all the retellings get some of the subtlety wrong. Latin is famously hard to truly comprehend for those that aren’t experts but most of the translations aren’t by experts. Then there are the more commonly known stories, like those of Julius Caesar or Hercules-”

Bellamy kept going and Clarke tried to keep up, but she found herself distracted. As he went on about the different myths and legends he had studied, she did her best to speak when necessary but otherwise remained quiet as she secretly pulled out her notepad and began to sketch him. Bellamy didn't even notice. She just couldn't help but capture the fire in his eyes or the way he pushed the curls back from his face unconsciously.

She barely noticed when he went quiet.

“How long did I rant for?” He asked after a moment or two.

“Hm?” She replied, finally realizing he had stopped talking. “Oh, not long.”

“Long enough that you got bored and started drawing,” he said, quietly, all fire gone from his tone and eyes trained on the wood pellets below their feet. “Sorry.”

“I wasn’t bored,” she said, “I just- the thing is.” Clarke sighed heavily, more than a little embarrassed. “I wanted to draw you.”

Bellamy’s eyes snap to her immediately. “Really?”

Clarke nodded and blushed. “You light up when you talk about this stuff and I couldn’t help myself. I had to get it on paper.”

“Can I-,” he started, “I mean- could I see?”

Clarke considered saying no but realized she didn’t really have a good reason to. She did just creepily draw him without permission. The least she could do was show him the half-finished sketch. Without a word, she turned the sketchpad to face him without looking up. She heard the swing creak and his footfalls toward her before he reached out and took the drawing from her hands.

“Wow,” he said, “this is incredible.”

Clarke released a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. “Thanks,” she said, “I just- you get this fire in your eyes when you're passionate about something and, I dunno. I wanted to draw you. It’s not done or anything.”

“You’re really good at this,” Bellamy said, still staring at her sketch, “this is what you went to school for right?”

“More or less,” she said, “in that, I studied art. Not to become an artist or anything, but to sell and collect it for museums and stuff. I actually have been thinking about going to grad school myself but I want to get some more experience first. I have a long way to go before I’m ready to be a curator. Though, I do have a really amazing boss. He’s a natural. I’m lucky to be learning under him. He isn’t even thirty and already the curator of a well-known gallery.”

“I would like to see Polis one day,” Bellamy said. “Octavia goes on and on about it. I think she would move in if she could. And now you? Most people don’t like their first job out of college, you know. Maybe you could give me a tour sometime?”

Clarke snorted at the thought of why Octavia likes the gallery so much before Bellamy’s other statement caught back up to her. “Sure,” she said, voice pitched a bit higher than normal. She coughed to even it back out and fought the nerves she felt buzzing around in her stomach that she refused to fully examine. “Anytime you want. Just let me know.”

“Well, “Bellamy said, finally turning to look at her with a look she had never seen before that made her heart jump into her throat from its intensity, “hopefully you keep doing this side of art as well. You are extremely talented, Clarke. No matter how much you love what you do, you clearly have a calling.”

Finally, he handed back the notebook. She snapped it closed quickly and put it away, secretly vowing to finish the drawing later. She hated leaving things unfinished. Clarke fumbled in her head for something to say, but couldn’t stop focusing on the way Bellamy kept looking at her.

“I’m writing a book,” Bellamy blurted as he inelegantly plopped back on his swing causing the whole structure to creak unhappily. “I don’t know why I just told you that. I haven’t even told Octavia that. Fuck, I haven’t even told Wick that.”

“Sometimes,” Clarke mused, “I think it’s easier to say things to someone you don’t really like than it is someone you love. Less risk since you already don’t like them. Their opinion doesn’t matter as much.”

“I don’t not like you, Clarke. Not anymore.”

Bellamy’s words were quiet and he never looked up from his shoes, but they were clearly sincere. Her heart flipped and she did her best to get it to calm down.

“I don’t not like you either, Bellamy.”

Before the intensity of the moment could become truly awkward, a couple of kids came barreling through the woods to climb all over the nearby structure. Clarke found herself both relieved and disappointed. Looking at her watch she frowned. It had been nearly three hours since she left her apartment and she had promised to skype Wells that day.

“We should probably go,” Clarke said.

Bellamy smiled sadly for a moment before smirking. “Yeah,” he said, “kind of weird to play on a playground with actual children instead of someone who only looks like one.”

“Hey!”

He expertly dodged her smacking his arm before running away. “Race you to Arkadia?”

Clarke started running right away. They both laughed, trying to trip or shove or distract the other the whole way back. At one point, Bellamy nearly smacked into an older lady who flipped him off and Clark lost her footing for a moment when a dog darted along her path. Five minutes later, they were both panting and holding their sides and they leaned up against the wall of their building. Clarke had to stop a slightly hysterical laugh from escaping her lips at the sight of her unlikely companion hunched over.

“Beat you,” she said once she caught her breath.

“Only because you cheated!”

“Did not!”

“Running through the bushes is absolutely cheating,” Bellamy said, indignant.

“You just said I had to beat you,” she said, “you didn’t specify along which path I had to do so.”

“Brat,” he said, holding the door open for her. She stuck her tongue at him in response. Surprisingly, he didn’t stop when they got to his floor and continued up to hers.

“I had a surprisingly good time today,” Bellamy said as they reached her door.

“Me too,” Clarke said, slightly breathless and entirely too aware of how close he was.

“Do you think,” Bellamy said, “I mean, if it’s ok with you- could I have that sketch?”

Clarke flushed and laughed. “How about this,” she said, “let me finish it first so that I don’t have to have a panic attack about how rough it is, and then it’s yours.”

Bellamy beamed, “Thanks.”

“Have a good day, Bellamy,” Clarke said as she unlocked her door.

“You too, Princess,” he replied before heading for the stairs.

For once, his nickname for her wasn’t said with spite but with what sounded a bit like fondness. Clarke found she was even beginning to like it.

As soon as the door was closed and she knew Bellamy was far away, she turned her back to the door and sunk to the floor, pulling out the sketchbook again and flipping to the picture of him. She sighed and closed her eyes, letting her head fall back against the door.

Somehow, between the biting remarks and life confessions, Clarke had managed to develop feelings for Bellamy fucking Blake. She was in so much trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me getting a chapter up on time! Huzzah! I hope you all enjoyed this one. And look who's catching feels! So where will they go from here, I wonder?
> 
> For those that are curious, there is a playlist that goes with this fic.
> 
> If you don't mind some light spoilers (more like hints) each song is the title of a chapter. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).


	8. Love on the Weekend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... how much are we freaking out from this week's episode? Everyone doing ok? Need some fluff in your life? I hope this helps!
> 
> For those that are curious, there is a playlist that goes with this fic.
> 
> If you don't mind some light spoilers (more like hints) each song is the title of a chapter. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).

  


After the day down by the riverbank, something changed between Bellamy and Clarke. Through unspoken agreement, they had managed to spend at least some time together every weekend since then. Sometimes they went to the same park they had been at and she would sketch him. Sometimes they would just sit by the fountain and talk about their lives. Still, other times they would end up wandering through the little shops surrounding the square filled with random clothes and candles and home goods trying to one-up each other on finding the best or the worst thing in the store. No matter what they did, he found he craved those moments with her all week and missed them as soon as they were over. 

One of his favorites was, just a week before Halloween, they wound up at a pumpkin patch that had been set up near the square.

He and Clarke played some of the silly carnival games and picked out pumpkins. They even roped Octavia, Jasper, and Monty into coming over to his place and carving some. Despite himself, Bellamy found he liked Clarke's presence and found he was starting to sorely feel when she wasn't there. Though he tried to pretend she was still the spoiled princess he saw in his mind, part of him had to concede that this girl was far more than he had ever expected.

One morning before their now typical Saturday morning coffee, he accidentally woke up late after an extremely long night. When he saw the time on his phone he swore and started scrambling around to get read as quickly as he could. As he sped through his morning routine he began to realize that his time with Clarke may mean more to him than he anticipated because he was rather upset at being late for a meeting they hadn't even agreed was happening and not the least bit upset that he had missed his run. The thought woke him up even faster than his cold shower.

When he finally arrived at the coffee shop nearly twenty minutes later, part of him believed she would be gone. Yet, as soon as he arrived, he saw her standing outside with two cups of coffee and a look of apprehension on her face. As soon as she spotted him, she broke out into a blinding smile. Bellamy pretended it didn't affect him.

“You're late,” Clarke teased.

“I'm sorry,” Bellamy replied, taking the cup from her and taking a long sip, “I slept through my alarm. I didn't get back until around four. Thanks for the coffee, by the way. It’s my favorite.”

“I know,” she said with a smirk. “I’m sorry about your night, though. Sounds brutal. Did Echo throw another bitch fit?”

Bellamy laughed. “Something like that,” he said. “And, unsurprisingly, Marcus made me deal with it. That girl is going to be the death of me. I wish she would just stay home when her father comes to town. She acts like she's been banished from her home or some shit.”

Clarke placed a hand on Bellamy’s shoulder and he had to suppress a shudder from the goosebumps that exploded from the contact.

“I'm sure she means well,” she said, “even if she is an insufferable know it all.”

Bellamy snorted. “That’s debatable,” he said, “but she is the last person I want to talk about on my day off. So what's on the agenda for us today?”

“Well,” she said, “I thought we could meet everyone at the park. They’re having some harvest carnival. Might be lame but might not. They even have a haunted house.”

Bellamy smiled. “You're on, Princess.”

Despite his earlier reservations, their groups seemed well matched for each other in every way. He found himself voluntarily going to TonDC multiple times a week and truly enjoying himself. These people that started out so unfamiliar and unwelcome to him were rapidly becoming a part of his crazy extended family. Thus, he was actually kind of looking forward to going to the festival with them.

He heard the festival before he saw it. The sound of kids screaming and noisy games were unmistakable. As soon as they rounded the corner to the town square, he couldn’t help but smile. This wasn’t the first time the festival had come to town but it was his first time going in years. Between work and school, he never seemed to have time for frivolous fun like this.

As they approached, he saw Monty, Harper, Jasper, Octavia, and Raven waiting for them. Clarke beamed when they waved and grabbed Bellamy’s hand, pulling him along.

“Come on, Bellamy!” she said, laughing as they dodged and weaved through the crowd. 

Despite himself, the only thing he was aware of was her warm, soft hand in his. It made his head spin a bit.

“I can’t believe you actually came,” Octavia said, hugging them both when they walked up. “Jasper bet Monty for control of next month’s moonshine flavor that you wouldn’t come.”

“I believe he specifically said you were too much of an old man for this,” Monty replied, earning himself a punch to the arm. It didn’t look like he minded much, too happy with his victory to care.

“I’m not wrong and you know it,” Jasper said, “Bellamy never does anything fun. He just works, drinks coffee, and reads.”

“I happen to know he also has a particular affinity for going to parks and playing on the swings,” Miller said as he walked up.

Bellamy sent him an ineffectual glare and Clarke blushed all the way to her ears. Bellamy had to fight the smile threatening to split his face.

Octavia rolled her eyes and looped her arm with his. “Come on,” she said, pulling them inside the fair, “I want to eat way too much cotton candy and go on the tilt a whirl. Possibly not in that order though.”

The group started together, checking out booths and laughing at some joke or another. Octavia put a huge hat they found on a display on Bellamy before taking a bunch of pictures and Clarke got Monty and Jasper to pose behind a photo stand-in picture of a farmer and his wife. 

“Jasper is the wife, obviously,” Clarke said when Bellamy asked who was who. He laughed until he couldn’t breathe.

Eventually, the group started to break up a bit. Raven and Monty wandered off to watch some demonstration of an overly lifelike robot that Bellamy found, quite frankly, a little terrifying. Octavia got her way as they went on the tilt a whirl next, along with a few other rides, and finally the haunted house. Somehow she roped Miller and Harper to go with her on everything but the haunted house. They decided that was too much for them and wandered off to find Raven and Monty. 

Standing in front of the haunted house, they realized it was rather sad looking, not that Octavia cared. She said it would end up being her favorite attraction this year, to which Jasper enthusiastically agreed. So, of course, Jasper and Octavia went first followed by him and Clarke.

Admittedly, it was just as lame on the inside as it had looked from the outside. The paper mache was visible under the paint of the displays and it wasn’t quite dark or insulated enough to drown out the festivity outside. Bellamy laughed a bit when a little ghost girl jumped out and yelled boo.

“I heard it’s put on by the local elementary school,” Clarke leaned over and whispered as they made their way past a series of funhouse mirrors, “as a way to raise money for school supplies and stuff like that. It’s pretty sweet actually. I guess a fifth-grader named Charlotte came up with the idea on her own. She is hoping to get more scholarships for after-school clubs for kids from families less well off. Apparently, she lost her parents pretty young and it was only through scholarships that her foster family was able to adopt her.”

“Sounds like quite the ambitious one,” Bellamy said. “Reminds me of you a bit.”

Clarke huffed a laugh. “I may have been ambitious,” she said, “but I think my interests as a ten-year-old reached about as far as playing video games with Wells and making sure my Barbie dream house was well stocked.”

“I can’t picture you with a Barbie dream house,” Bellamy said.

“If it makes you feel any better my stories were anything but conventional. I had frequent apocalypse scenarios or zombie stories. A few times I had a female James Bond-type of thing. My Barbie’s were badasses.”

“That makes much more sense.”

When they reached the end of the haunted house, Octavia and Jasper were waiting for them. Apparently, at some point, Miller had found them.

“Hey guys,” he said, “how was the death trap?”

Bellamy laughed while Clarke looked confused. “Miller doesn’t do scary stuff,” Bellamy explained. “When he was a kid he got the crap scared out of him at a friend's haunted house and then again at a haunted maze he was way too young for. Now he won’t even walk across the hall at night without his phone’s flashlight.”

“I’m not taking any fucking chances,” Miller said.

“It’s ok, Miller,” Clarke said, “I used a nightlight until I was ten. That means you’ve still got a few years to catch up.”

Miller tried to whack her on the head with his program from the robotics lecture, but she was too quick for him as she hid behind Bellamy. Octavia laughed her head off until Miller finally got her around the waist and tickled her until she yelled mercy.

“Hey,” Jasper said, “O and I are gonna go gorge ourselves on cotton candy and attempt to paint some pumpkins that are children appropriate. Any takers?”

“Nah, man,” Miller said, “I need to get some real food in me before I attempt to give myself a diabetic coma.”

“Suit yourself,” Jasper said with a shrug before he and Octavia skipped their way to the other side of the fair.

“Come on,” Bellamy said, “let’s go get some monster turkey legs and beer.”

“Here here,” Clarke said, taking both men by the arm. “Shall we?”

First, they went for their turkey legs. Every time he got one of these, part of him was convinced they were getting bigger. Yet, nearly every time, he could finish almost the whole thing, and this time was no exception. Miller finished a respectable half. Clarke somehow managed to finish nearly every scrap of meat on the thing and didn’t end up with BBQ sauce all over her face. Bellamy was quietly impressed.

“Come on, Blake,” Miller said, “I want to whoop your ass at some games.”

“Last I checked,” Bellamy said, “you haven’t beaten me at a carnival game since fourth grade.”

“Ah,” Miller said, “but my years and years of military training have perfectly equipped me for a sweeping victory at balloon darts.”

As it turned out, Miller was pretty good at darts. He beat Bellamy by three points. Clarke managed to beat them both at the milk bottle toss, though. She said it was her “artistic attention to detail” that put her ahead. Bellamy managed to win at both basketball and the water gun game. As they got to the baseball in a basket, Wick showed up.

“Hey,” Clarke said, “long time no see.”

“I know,” Wick said, giving her a hug, “I’ve been out of town. There was a convention in Vegas for a month. Fun city but fucking hot. I don’t understand a place where it's ninety degrees in fucking October.”

“Yeah,” Clarke said, “Raven mentioned something about that.”

“Yeah?” Wick said, feigning disinterest. “I’m surprised she mentioned it considering it’s why she didn’t want a second date. Claimed we were great in bed but clearly, that was all. Something about my habit of disappearing with no notice. Whatever. Where is she today anyways?”

“Sounds familiar,” Bellamy smirked. “She and Monty went to watch some lecture series on that fancy new robot that’s being developed. I think Harper’s with them too, likely very bored. It’s still got about an hour left if you wanted to go catch it.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Wick said, “I’ll go grab a drink and then head over. Thanks, Bell.”

“You know what,” Miller said, “I think I should probably go rescue Harper. She did look pretty bored when I left. See you guys later?”

“And then there were two,” Clarke said.

“Try not to sound too disappointed,” Bellamy teased.

“I’m not,” she replied.

When he looked over, her bright eyes were clear and sincere. He found himself unsettled. After a moment that felt like years, he cleared his throat and looked away.

“Right,” he said, “well I’m not in the mood for painting or robots, but I did like that drink idea. Want to go get a beer and then check out the corn maze?”

“That sounds perfect.”

As they walked to the beer garden, a companionable silence fell between them. Being around her was easy, he was finding. She never pushed him to talk when he didn’t want to, she was excited without being overwhelming, and she always seemed to read Bellamy’s mind.

“Ballast Point Pumpkin Ale, please,” she said when they reached the counter.

“Make that two,” Bellamy said behind her.

“I’m surprised you like that,” Clarke said.

“Ballast Point is my favorite beer,” he said, “and the pumpkin one is really smooth. Though the Sour Wench wins for me for taste and the Barmy for alcohol content. At least of their seasonal brews.”

“Good choices,” Clarke said, “maybe we really do have a lot in common.”

Bellamy laughed. “Come on,” he said, this time pulling her by the hand, “let’s go see if we can manage not get lost in the maze. Apparently, it took Jasper and Monty an hour and a half to get out a few years back. Granted, they were high as a kite.”

“Well,” Clarke replied, “you and I make a good team. I think it's safe to bet on us beating that time.”

After thirty-nine minutes and twelve seconds, they proved that theory right. Clarke was surprisingly excited about beating her two very high best friends. Amazingly they only managed to argue about three turns. Bellamy had to concede, albeit reluctantly, that they really did make a good team. The thought made him smile.

“I need another drink,” she told him, making her way back to the beer garden.

After a couple more beers and a few more silly games, the atmosphere of the festival began to change. All-day it had been filled with families and rowdy pre-teens, but as night began to overtake the square the general air of innocent frivolity turned to one of adults blowing off steam and enjoying some time away from responsibility. As such, a band had taken up the main stage playing fun covers for people to dance.

It was around then that the rest of the group caught up with them. And at some point had been joined by Murphy and a girl he didn’t know.

“Sorry we were gone for so long,” Octavia said, “but we found a tiki bar and lost track of time. And look who we found!”

The girl with Murphy rolled her eyes but was smiling when she held out her hand. “I’m Emori, John’s girlfriend. It’s nice to meet you guys.”

As she went over to introduce herself to Clarke, Bellamy raised an eyebrow at Murphy and smirked. “John?”

“Not a word, Blake.” Murphy huffed before heading over and wrapping an arm around his apparent girlfriend’s waist.

“We found the others before we found you,” Miller supplied. “Did you know Murphy was dating someone?”

Bellamy laughed and shook his head. “Nope,” he said, “but she looks just scary enough to keep him in line. Maybe she’ll be good for him.”

“Here’s hoping,” Raven said. Miller laughed. “But yeah, sorry again about being late. I know we were supposed to meet up ages ago. What have you two been up to?”

Bellamy looked at his watch and was surprised to find it had been a few hours since he had seen his friends. He honestly hadn't noticed.

“No worries,” Clarke said, rejoining the conversation, “we just finished demolishing Jasper and Monty’s corn maze record.”

“Oh hell no!” Jasper exclaimed. “That title is ours. Come on Monty.”

“Guess we’ll be back,” Monty said laughing as Jasper dragged him back to the corn maze. 

“I have an idea,” Wick said, “let's go dance. The new band sounds great.”

“Alright,” Miller replied, “sounds fun.”

Wick bowed dramatically to Raven and held his hand out for her. She, in turn, rolled her eyes and headed straight for the crowd. Wick shrugged before heading off with Miller on his tail.

“Think those two have a chance?” Clarke asked.

Bellamy shrugged. “Probably not. They aren’t really that compatible, they just like to have sex. Plus, Wick doesn’t really do relationships. He spends too much time disappearing for this conference or that event. She would hate that instability and he would hate to feel tied down.”

“That makes sense,” Clarke replied. “So, you coming?”

“I don't dance until I've had way more than three beers,” was his response.

Clarke seemed to contemplate this for a moment before making a beeline for the bar. Bellamy laughed when she came back with two massive pints in hand

“That should help.” She told him. She was quiet for a few moments staring out at their dancing friends and sipping her beer before she spoke again. “I love to dance. I actually did ballet and jazz for years as a kid. Ended up stopping when my mom decided it wasn't suitable for me. She told me dancers don't work in hospitals.”

“I'm sorry,” Bellamy said.

Clarke shrugged. “It's whatever. Dancing was never my path. Granted, I still didn't fall into my mom's world but that was irrelevant. Man, you should have seen her face when I told her I was transferring to art school.”

“I'll bet,” Bellamy said. “Little Ivy League, perfectly groomed, white picket fence daughter goes all bohemian. Art, lesbian, drugs. Who knows what her head was thinking?”

“Well if that was it she wasn't that wrong.”

Bellamy blinked at her stupidly but didn't respond.

“In college, I… experimented,” Clarke told him, “I did my fair share of drugs, ever perfecting my position as a tortured artist. And I was with a girl for a few years. I'm not a lesbian, I'm bi, but I think it's close enough.”

Bellamy laughed and downed his fourth- or maybe fifth beer. “Yep,” he said, “Clarke Griffin, you are officially a vagrant. Welcome to the gutter.”

“That's alright,” she said with a devious twinkle in her eyes, “I like the company down here better anyways.”

“Come dance, bitches!” Octavia exclaimed from their group on the dance floor.

“Shall we?” Clarke asked, extending her hand to Bellamy.

“Why not,” Bellamy said after a second.

Clarke took his hand, yet again, and led them to their group. Bellamy decided to just enjoy the jolt of electricity that shot up his arm at her touch and try to find ways to make it happen more.

They all danced together as a group and laughed at the silly songs the band played. Eventually, a slow song started. Wick immediately extended his hand to Raven who accepted, Monty pulled Harper close, and Miller took Octavia's hand. Emori and Murphy were pressed close together, unaware of anyone else around them. Only Clarke and Bellamy were left standing awkwardly.

“Do you want to dance?” Bellamy asked.

Clarke blushed and nodded before taking his hand.

“I love John Mayer,” Clarke said as Bellamy swayed them both in a slow circle.

“Is that who this is?” Bellamy asked, barely hearing the song. He couldn't help but be distracted by the feel of her in his arms.

“Yeah,” she said, “this is his new song. It's called Love on the Weekend. It's a great song.”

“I'll take your word for it,” he replied.

She and Bellamy danced the whole song together and he tried his hardest not to focus on how good it felt being this close to her and holding her in his arms. They didn't speak anymore as she laid her head on his shoulder. All he prayed was she couldn't hear his heart nearly beating out of his chest. He didn't know how this girl who used to drive him insane managed to make him feel like they were the only two people on this dance floor.

The song changed to something fast and electronic but they stayed pressed in close together for a few moments longer than necessary. He found they were both reluctant to let each other go. When Octavia finally came over and wrapped her arms around them both the spell was broken, though Bellamy doubted he would ever forget the feeling of holding her with her head on his shoulder. Despite himself, he was curious about what her lips would taste like.

As the night wound down, Bellamy found that he and Clarke's eyes continued to meet. Most times she would look away but sometimes she held his gaze and smiled. After a few more drinks, the festival finally came to an end but Bellamy found he didn't want to leave. 

The whole group was drunk enough that the trek back to the building was slow. Most people were crashing at Bellamy’s place so they didn’t have to head back to their apartments and part of him wished he could just leave them all to it and spend the evening with Clarke. It was too soon though. They were standing right on the edge of falling into something neither could escape and he had to be sure the fall wouldn't kill him before he took that leap.

Even still, when he walked her to her door that night he had to stop himself from claiming the lips he wanted so badly against his. Instead, he simply smiled and tucked a loose curl behind her ear.

“Sweet dreams Clarke,” he told her.

“Sweet dreams Bellamy.”

He fell asleep smiling that night.

The next morning he went to his usual breakfast with Octavia at Mount Weather. This was one tradition he did his best not to break, no matter how hungover he was. 

“So,” Octavia said after they finished their second round of mimosas, “what’s up with Clarke, Bell?” Octavia asked.

“What about her?” Bellamy asked, heart rate spiking uncomfortably.

“You two were pretty fucking chummy last night,” Octavia said. “Quite the long cry from you seeing her as the Princess of Arkadia.”

“She's still the princess,” Bellamy said. “I'm just not so sure that's still a bad thing.”

“So what do you want?” Octavia asked.

“To be honest,” Bellamy said, “I don't really know.”

“Well,” Octavia said, “you better figure that shit out before it's too late.”

Bellamy ended breakfast more confused than when he started. Octavia was right though. He needed to figure out what exactly he wanted because a girl like that wouldn't be available forever.

He knew he was in trouble, he just had no idea what he should do about it.


	9. Realize

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so hot today that my work closed early. As a reward for my unexpected short day, and because it's so hot I wish it was Halloween, you get my chapter a bit early. Enjoy! This is one of my favorites (and the longest so far!).

  


Clarke’s cell phone went off far too early the morning of her birthday, but she smiled when she saw the name on the caller ID.

“Good morning, Mom,” she said, rolling out of bed and throwing on a hoodie to combat the late October air.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” Abby said, “and happy birthday. Also Jackson waves hello and Happy Birthday.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Clarke said with a laugh at the thought of her mom’s assistant surgeon. “Not to sound like I don't appreciate your call but… why are you calling so early?”

Abby chuckled. “I have a birthday surprise for you.”

Clarke smiled. “I like surprises,” she said. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well,” Abby said, “I got called out of town for an unexpected conference for the next two weeks. One of our speakers on the genetic splicing experiment we've been working on had to drop out. Her wife is going into labor and she can't really miss it. As a result, I am going to have a very empty house. I thought you might like to have a party for Halloween and your birthday.”

“Seriously!” Clarke shrieked.

Abby laughed. “Yes, I'm serious. I thought you could use a chance to blow off some steam. Plus, I trust you. I know you won't destroy my place and you'll respect my rules. No one in my room during the party, though you may sleep there if you want. Everyone crashes if they can't pass a police issue breathalyzer, no sex, the usual.”

Now Clarke laughed. “I think I can handle that. Oh hey, tell Jackson he should come. I have someone I want him to meet.”

Immediately Clarke started scheming. It would involve a few phone calls and a bit of convincing but if she was right she would have set up two new couples by the end of this party.

Clarke was so excited. She had planned on just celebrating her birthday at TonDC but this was so much better. Immediately, she knew she had to call Octavia and Harper.

With less than a week to plan, Clarke had a lot of work to do and realized she would need some help. One group chat later, and the troops had been assembled. Harper was in charge of getting Jasper and Monty there. Octavia would handle Bellamy, Miller, and Raven. To add to the group, Clarke took responsibility for Wells, Lincoln, and Maya. She knew that a few other randoms would probably show up (more or less uninvited), like Roma, Gaia, Roan, and possibly even Echo if her partying habit was to be believed (though the others she wouldn’t mind). Clarke couldn't help how excited she was for this party. Everyone she loved, along with a few others, together under one roof. It was bound to be an epic night. She had even decided to make it a masquerade after watching The Phantom of the Opera one too many times, which the girls were extremely excited about.

The day of the party, Octavia, Jasper, Monty, and Bellamy came to help her set up. There would be a DJ, haunted garage, and a karaoke room set up by Monty and Jasper. Octavia and Bellamy were in charge of the backyard which would have a fog machine by the pool for a creepy environment and every inch was filled with fun decorations. Everything was perfect and at around seven all her friends went home to get in costume.

Clarke took her time getting ready. Lately, she had been inspired by a number of depression-era artists, so she was unsurprised by her costume choice. She wore plunge necked nude flapper dress expertly overlaid with black lace and a decent amount of beading. Her hair was pinned up with a birdcage style headpiece and her throat was draped with pearls. Her favorite part was the mask. It was black and lacy to match her dress and made her feel just a little mysterious. Looking in the mirror to adjust the edges of her matte red lipstick, she knew she looked like someone straight out of The Great Gatsby and she was thrilled. 

Her mom had surprised her again by having the party professionally catered and there was a manned bar. All of the food and drinks were Halloween themed and matched the general vibe of the party. Clarke knew this would be the best party she had ever thrown.

Unsurprisingly, the first to show up was Wells and his fiancé Roan. The two were an unexpected pair. Roan was all passion and power where Wells was democracy and peace. Yet, somehow, they balanced each other well. Clarke had been wary of the pairing in the beginning but Roan had proved his unfailing loyalty time and again, and slowly the two had formed an uneasy bond. Now, three years later, she truly considered the man a friend.

“I missed you guys so much,” Clarke said as she held them both tight. Roan pulled away quickly but Wells hung on for a long time. It truly had been too long.

“I'm looking forward to meeting all these crazy friends who have made you feel like you belong here and not next door to me anymore,” Wells joked.

Clarke smiled at her oldest friend. “You are gonna love them,” she said. “Hello Roan.”

“Clarke,” he said, cooly, “it's been a while.”

“You don't have to pretend to be such an ass,” she said. “I've known you long enough to know you're actually a great guy. I love the knight in shining armor costume, by the way. I'm guessing Wells is Prince Charming?”

Roan glared a bit and then smiled before giving her another one-armed hug. The two wandered off in search of food when the next guests arrived.

“Hi, Clarke,” Harper said. “This is Monroe, Roma’s girlfriend.”

“It's so nice to meet you,” Clarke said with a quick handshake to the girl dressed as a sexy cat.

“You too,” Monroe said. “Where's the booze?”

Without waiting for an answer, the girl wandered off into the house.

“So,” Clarke said, “she's… nice.”

Harper laughed. “Not particularly,” she said, “boring as watching paint dry too. But Roma likes her and I somehow became her chauffeur just because she lives close to my building.”

Clarke laughed. “Well,” she said, “I keep telling you that you are too nice. Monty isn’t here yet. I love the costume by the way. Something Oktoberfest related, yeah?.”

“Yep!” Harper said, “I'm a beer wench! Fitting right? Anyways, we’ll catch up later, ok? I better make sure Roma’s kitty doesn't get in too much trouble.” Harper said with a wink before she made her way into the house and Clarke checked on the kitchen before the doorbell rang again.

Next to arrive were Jasper and Octavia. Clarke couldn't help but burst out laughing when she saw Jasper.

“Are you seriously dressed as Cat in the Hat?” Clarke asked.

“Yes,” he said, sounding dejected, “but I couldn't talk O and Monty into being Thing One and Thing Two. I'm very disappointed in them.”

“In my defense,” Octavia said, “I make a much better Cleopatra than I would a Thing.”

“You're not wrong,” Clarke said. “You look gorgeous.”

Octavia beamed. “Right though!”

“Whatever,” Jasper grumbled, “where's the food?”

After them, quite a few more people began to stream in. The party was well underway when Lincoln and a couple of his friends arrived.

“Hello, Clarke,” Lincoln said, finding her talking with Octavia outside. As soon as they walked up, Octavia got uncharacteristically quiet again. “This is my friend, Nyko, and his cousin Luna is the one in the fortune teller costume over by the bar.”

“It's so nice to meet you,” Clarke said. “I love the nurse costume, Nyko. Very realistic.”

“It's pretty fitting since I'm actually a nurse,” Nyko said, “makes the costume cheap and easy.”

“I'll bet,” Clarke said. “And who are you supposed to be, Lincoln? Are you Marc Antony?”

“Something like that,” he said. “I love your Cleopatra costume, Octavia.”

O seemed to shake herself a bit before smiling a bit shyly. “Seems like we go well together.”

“I suppose that remains to be seen,” Lincoln replied with a grin of his own.

“I suppose it does,” Octavia said.

When the doorbell rang again, Clarke left them to their own devices.

“Trick or Treat!” Jackson said when she opened the door.

“I’m so glad you’re here!” she said, giving him a hug. “And dressed as a doctor nonetheless. How original.”

Jackson was a few years older than Clarke but had worked under her mom for nearly a decade. He was like a brother to her and she had missed him now that she wasn’t at her mom’s office very often anymore. He had been the first person Clarke had told that she was dropping out of medical school. If all went well tonight, she had a feeling she would be seeing a lot more of him in the near future.

“I’m not just a doctor,” he said, gesturing to his painted face. “I’m a zombie doctor!”

Clarke laughed. “Well then you better make your way to the banquet table. I hear they have top quality brains.”

From there several people arrived. There were superheroes, ghosts, vampires, werewolves, and costumes she couldn't identify. Roma arrived as Wonder Woman, gaining some suggestive looks from the guys in the area. If only they knew that, these days, she would rather be on the island of Amazonian women. 

Clarke was infinitely amused when Raven showed up as a cop with Wick in tow as a prisoner and Shaw as a judge.

“Damn,” Clarke said, “two boys under your wing. And to think I couldn’t even pull one!”

Wick winked at Clarke and Shaw just blushed.

“They’re just friends!” Raven exclaimed to Clarke's breathless laughter.

Raven skulked away when Clarke laughed harder as Wick kissed both Raven and Shaw on the cheek.

Clarke was still nearly doubled over when Bellamy finally arrived at the door.

“Hey there, Princess,” Bellamy said.

Immediately her laughter died out as she saw him. Clarke felt like she couldn't breathe. He was in a pinstriped suit with a white hat and a fake Tommy gun. He looked incredible, but she was amazed at how well his costume fit with hers. Something told her Octavia was behind that fact. She couldn’t say she minded.

“Not a princess tonight,” she managed, slightly breathless.

“You'll always be a princess to me,” he said, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. “You’re breathtaking tonight, by the way.”

“Thanks,” she said, blushing. “I love your costume too. I'm surprised though. You certainly clean up nice.”

“I can be fancy when I want to,” Bellamy said with a smirk.

“Clearly,” Clarke said, unable to tear her eyes away. As much as she tried to ignore it, whatever this thing was between them was only growing. Seeing him like this made her mouth go dry and her words falter. He was handsome and she was running out of excuses to deny it.

Thankfully, they were quickly interrupted by her next guests.

“Knock knock,” the sweet voice said from the door. “I hope I'm not interrupting.”

Clarke smiled at her friend. “Of course not, Maya,” Clarke said. “Come on in. Actually, I have someone I want you to meet.”

Clarke led both Bellamy and Maya into the party in the backyard where everyone was hanging out around the pool. It took a moment, but she eventually found Jasper hanging out over with Lincoln, Nyko, and Octavia.

“Hey guys,” Clarke said. “Jasper, I wanted you to meet my friend Maya. We work at Polis together but her minor in college was in graphic arts for video games. She’s actually getting her graduate degree in game design. I think you two would have a lot to talk about.”

“Hi,” Maya said, a bit shyly, “it's nice to meet you all.”

Jasper opened his mouth a few times as if trying to find the words. Clarke couldn't help but be amused at her friend's inability to find his words.

“I like your fairy costume,” Jasper finally said.

“Why don't you get her a drink,” Bellamy told Jasper, a bit under his breath.

“Yeah,” he said, “what do you want to drink?”

“I'm flexible,” Maya said.

“Well, why don't you come with me then?” Jasper said.

“Alright,” Maya said, giggling, and the two wandered off to the bar.

When they left, she and Bellamy went in search of food.

“It was really nice what you did for them,” Bellamy said. “I think those two would be a good match.”

“Me too,” she said, “they are well-matched but just different enough to make each other better. She can help temper his spirit a bit and he can help break her out of her shell. A few weeks ago she mentioned how much she wanted to find someone and I instantly thought of him.”

“It was a good call,” Bellamy said.

As they ate, Monty and Miller finally showed up with a beer pong table in tow.

“Sorry we’re late,” Miller said, “You wouldn’t believe how long it took for us to find ping pong balls for this stupid thing.”

“That's alright,” Clarke said, “you haven't really missed anything. I love the pirate and sailor costumes.”

“Thanks,” Miller said, “my costume was Monty’s idea.”

“If by my idea you mean I told you to just wear your uniform because I got sick of watching you try on costumes, then sure,” Monty said with a fondly exasperated eye roll. “Now I’m going to find my girlfriend and a drink.”

“Hey Miller,” Clarke said, “I have someone I want you to meet.”

She took him by the hand and led him through the crowd to where Jackson was talking with Wick, to Clarke’s surprise.

“Clarke!” Wick said, “I didn’t know you knew Jacks. We went to high school together. I haven’t seen him in years.”

“What a small world,” Clarke said. “Jackson, this is Bellamy Blake and Nathan Miller. They live in the same building as me and have been best friends since they were kids. Jackson is the surgical assistant for my mom. Has been for almost ten years. He was like a brother to me when I was a teenager.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Jackson said, though his eyes kept darting to a surprisingly quiet Miller.

“Oh,” Clarke said, “I forgot to grab the cupcakes from the kitchen. Could you help Bellamy?”

He smirked and nodded before they headed into the house.

“The matchmaker strikes again,” Bellamy said once they were inside and away from the main party.

“Yeah, well,” Clarke said, “I just want my friends to be happy.”

“So do I,” Bellamy said, “especially Miller. He may be outgoing and charismatic but when he meets a guy he’s interested in he just clams up. He really deserves to find someone amazing.”

“And what about you?” Clarke asked, swallowing hard, willing herself to say what she was thinking. “Don't you deserve to find someone too?”

“What if I already have?” Bellamy said.

“Then I hope she knows how lucky she is,” Clarke said quietly, hoping beyond hope that he was talking about her.

She surprised herself with the realization. Though she wasn't sure why. The feeling had been on the edges of her vision for far too long. Even still, she wasn't fully sure how she had missed it. It wasn't that long ago that she hated this man. He still managed to drive her up the wall but something about him had broken down her walls. Despite everything that drove her crazy, she had never met a man like him.

“So I have to ask,” Bellamy said, “are we friends now? I know we've had our issues but I’d like to believe we've gotten past them.”

Clarke took a deep breath before responding. Were they friends? Is that really how she would classify what they had become? Between their late-night talks and days lounging in the park, she couldn't help feeling like that definition was nowhere close to enough. Still, Clarke wasn't ready to admit everything she was feeling. Not yet.

“Of course we are,” she told him, even though she was beginning to suspect there was a lot more to it than that.

Bellamy smiled but the smile didn't quite meet his eyes. “Good,” he said before grabbing a beer. “Come on, Princess. Let’s go party.”

The rest of the night was tons of fun. There was dancing and everyone ate far too much. Jasper managed to rope a bunch of people into a game that reminded her of charades but a lot more inappropriate and someone had managed to start a game of flip cup in the corner. She and Bellamy didn't talk much the rest of the evening, but every time she looked up his eyes managed to meet hers and she could feel herself melt just a little more inside at the smile he seemed to save just for her.

It was well after three when the party finally wound down. Wells and Roan walked back next door to where they were staying with Wells' father and a few people caught Uber’s, but most people found places on the ground and couches throughout the house. Murphy and Emori decided to sleep outside under the stars, Clarke let Bellamy, Lincoln, and Jasper crash in her old room while she, Raven, Octavia, Harper, and Maya made their bed in her mom's huge room. Three fit easily on the bed and there was a couch that pulled out into a bed big enough for two.

Clarke relished the chance for some good old fashioned girl talk. Someone had managed to smuggle all the extra birthday cupcakes upstairs (red velvet, Clarke's favorite), and they passed around a few bottles of leftover, slightly too warm champagne that made everyone just a bit giggly. 

“So I noticed Monroe and Roma left early,” Clarke mentioned to Harper. “Right around the time Murphy and Emori showed up.

“From what I hear they got into a huge fight about a girl Monroe had been flirting with and then they took off when Roma threw a drink in her face. It wasn’t pretty.”

Clarke snorted. “Understatement of the century right there.”

“I gave Lincoln my number,” Octavia blurted before hiding her face in her hands.

All the girls squealed.

“Jasper asked me out,” Maya said. “At least I'm pretty sure he did. There were a lot of um’s and uh’s and mumbling.”

“Oh trust me,” Octavia said, “that boy adores you. He wanted to kiss the ground you walked on all night. He didn’t take his eyes off of you once from the moment you walked in. Whatever he said, he was asking you out.”

The girls stayed up too late talking. Raven admitted that she and Wick had basically broken up but she was starting to be a little interested in Shaw. Everyone teased her for it but Harper told her to tap that to which everyone agreed. Raven threw a pillow at them before collapsing back in mock shame.

By some miracle, Bellamy didn't come up, though Octavia shot her a few not so subtle glances that Clarke deftly ignored. Still, he was all Clarke could think about.

The next morning, Clarke was unsurprisingly the first awake. Despite having a solid amount to drink, she knew her friends had all had much more and were likely nursing wicked hangovers. She knew eventually she would have to clean and likely make them all breakfast, but for now, all she wanted was a quiet moment to sit by her mom's pool with a massive cup of pumpkin spice coffee and contemplate the night before. 

Which really just meant contemplating Bellamy.

Clarke had honestly no idea how to deal with the revelation she had come to the night before about him. It was clear that no matter the implications, her deepening feelings for the man were real and not going away. He had found a way into her heart and wouldn't let go. Her feelings for him had snuck up on her. No matter how much he drove her insane, he was the perfect counterbalance to her life. Now that she had seen it, she realized, it could never be unseen.

With all that was on her mind, Clarke was relieved when Wells found her an hour later.

“Hey there,” he said, dropping into the lawn chair beside her and downing the cold coffee she had forgotten about. He winced but finished the whole thing. “What's on your mind?”

“How did you know Roan was the one?” Clarke asked, staring out at the last tendrils of fog still hanging on in the morning air above the pool.

“Well then,” Wells said, “certainly not pulling any punches this morning. Can I at least get some real coffee before we dig into your early morning existential crisis?”

Clarke laughed. “Pots full inside,” she told him, “you know where everything is.”

A few minutes later, Wells came back with two steaming mugs and sat down. For a few minutes, they both just stared out at the gray morning settling around them.

“As you well know,” Wells began, “Roan and I didn't exactly have a traditional start to our relationship. His mother was a queen, for all intents and purposes, meaning her death made him king. But he didn't want to rule. He sought adventure. So he abdicated his throne and Ontari took over. Ontari moved into the building you are currently occupying so she could be closer to the foreign consulate than she would have been in California.

“Roan, on the other hand, decided to travel. When I started working in Peru with Doctors Without Borders, he was there too on some spiritual quest to find something called the flame. We met in a village when he got bit by a snake. I called him out for being arrogant and rude. He called me naive. I think we were both a little right.

“When I came back to the city, I ran into him again. He may not have been king but he was still a prince, which meant he dealt with my father as Governor. I was shocked when I saw him but not as shocked as he was. He even smiled at me.”

Wells paused and looked into his coffee cup.

“If I'm being honest, I think a part of me knew even when he was lying in my healer's tent with 104 fever and still managed to have an attitude. I hadn't even realized I liked men yet. Yet there he was, all surly expression and piercing blue eyes. I never stood a chance, but it was fate that pushed us together in the end.”

Clarke sighed heavily. “You guys make it seem so easy,” she told him. “Nothing in my life is ever easy.”

Wells clapped her on the shoulder and smiled. “Don't get me wrong,” he said, “it wasn't easy. It would have been so easy for us to write to each other off or become enemies. There are still days where I spend more time wanting to strangle him than kiss him. But when you find that person who fits your life you have to do what you can to make it last. Love takes a lot of effort. But when the world keeps putting someone directly in your line of vision you owe it to yourself to figure out what that means.”

Not a moment later, the sliding glass door opened causing Clarke to turn and nearly roll her eyes. Of course, Bellamy would choose now to come outside. She groaned and plopped back on her lounger.

“Morning,” he said, closing the door behind him and making his way to the pair. He still had his pinstripe pants on but was just in a plain white t-shirt now with bare feet and his hair sticking out in a few funny directions. He had found her favorite Disney mug with Grumpy on it for his coffee and when he lifted his arm to scratch the back of his neck a thin strip of tanned abs showed. Clarke stifled her groan in her own mug.

“You look like you’re freezing,” Wells said. “Do you want a blanket or anything?”

“Nah,” Bellamy replied, “I kinda like the cold.” When he reached them he scooted Clarke over and sat on the same lounger as her. She stuck her tongue out at him and put her legs over his. He didn’t seem to mind.

“Suit yourself,” Wells said with a knowing smile. “I'm heading back home. I just wanted to let you know that Roan and I are gonna go get brunch if anyone wants to join.”

After he was gone, Clarke and Bellamy were quiet for a while. She had never felt so awkward with him as she did now. She wondered if he noticed.

“Mind if I smoke out here?” Bellamy asked.

“Oh,” she said, “not at all. Just pick up the butt when you're done.”

She watched the smoke trail around his head as she longed to reach out and tame his unruly curls. He had to have realized what was between them, right? He had to feel it too.

Bellamy scooted a bit closer to her and she leaned in. In the morning light, he looked even more ethereal than her dreams of him and he was staring at her like she had hung the sun in the sky. She was hovering above the deep end and all she had to do was jump.

“Clarke I wanted to say-”

“Good lord do I have a hangover,” Octavia announced from the doorway. “Are we making breakfast or what?”

Clarke and Bellamy jolted apart and laughed. “Come on,” he said, “let's go take care of the children.”

Bellamy stood and put a brief hand on her shoulder, which she quickly returned, leaning her cheek on their joined hands. As he walked away, she couldn’t help but watch him, wondering what he was about to say.

“Now there’s something I never thought I’d see,” Octavia said, looking at Clarke strangely when she looked over.

"What is?” Clarke asked.

Octavia shook her head. “It’s nothing,” she said, “never mind. Now, what is this you promised me last night about bacon?”

The girls went in to join the group. They cooked pancakes and bacon, drank some ill-advised mimosas, and played video games until they felt better. After most of the guests had gone home, the remaining group snuggled up on the couches and bean bag chairs in the media room to watch a scary movie.

Bellamy sat beside her on an extra-large bean bag, her head on his chest as she buried herself into him each time she got too scared. Truth be told, by the end of the movie, she didn't even know what she had just watched.

All she knew was she now had little doubt that her feelings were returned. She just had no idea what to do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are both so deep in their feels! So what do we think? Have these two crazy kids gotten to the bottom of things? Are we finally going to see them together? What are your thoughts? My comments section is open, I love hearing your theories!
> 
> For those that are curious, there is a playlist that goes with this fic.
> 
> If you don't mind some light spoilers (more like hints) each song is the title of a chapter. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).


	10. So Easy

  


In the week following Clarke’s party, things had been awkward between him and Clarke, each of them acting strange around the other. Every time their eyes met, she would blush and he wouldn't know what to say. Still, he couldn't help trying to put himself in her space as often as he could. 

Something had changed between them at the party. Something real had been growing between them for a while now, he was certain of that, but now it felt inevitable. Even still, he wasn't quite sure he knew what exactly it was. All he knew was he was extremely excited for the weekend to come in hopes that she would be at the coffee shop waiting for him.

When he woke up Saturday it was an extremely cold November morning. Bellamy threw an extra hoodie under his jacket and put on his warm boots. He might not be able to run outside anymore but he certainly wasn't going to let a little weather stop him from seeing her. When he walked up he saw her blonde hair tucked under a tan beanie and black gloves holding two steaming coffee cups, Bellamy smiled. Apparently, she wasn't going to let the weather stop her either.

“‘Morning,” Clarke said, nose pink from the cold, “I got your favorite.”

“And I'm guessing you got one of those overly sweet fall concoctions?” Bellamy teased.

“Maple pecan cortado,” she said proudly, to which he rolled his eyes but his smile was still fond. It made her heart swoop, just a little.

“I’m going to assume that was an affirmative even though I have no idea what the hell that meant. I knew it, though. With your sugar addiction, it's a wonder you don't have diabetes. What would your mother say.”

Clarke laughed brightly. “She would have no right to talk,” Clarke said, “I found her snickers stash in her closet when I was ten. Besides, I eat plenty of healthy foods. I'm allowed to have one vice.”

Bellamy shrugged and sipped his extra hot Americano with two sugars, no cream. She had gotten it perfect like she always did. It warmed him almost more than the coffee that she knew him so well.

“So I was thinking,” Clarke said, “since it's way too fucking cold to do anything outside, do you want to go check out Polis with me?”

“Yeah, absolutely,” Bellamy said with a grin, “but I’m driving. After the last time I got in your car I’m not eager to risk my life again.”

“What?” She said with mock offense, “I’m a wonderful driver. It’s not my fault everyone else sucks.”

Bellamy leveled a glare at her and she laughed before tossing him her keys.

Not long later they were pulling up to a well-lit building with exposed beams and floor to ceiling windows. Even in the gloom of the day, the place seemed warm and inviting with the glow of the lights drawing the attention of everyone who passed. He could see a few pieces in the windows that were interesting and fun and not at all what he expected at a gallery.

“Lincoln just found this amazing new artist we’re featuring,” Clarke explained as they walked into a room filled with dark paintings and gothic themed scenes. “Apparently she was highly influenced by the concept art from Tim Burton’s movies. There's one in the main exhibit hall that reminds me a lot of Jack and Sally but a little more zombie than skeleton. This exhibit is kind of a continuation concept from the Tim Burton collection we featured during October.”

“These are incredible,” Bellamy said, admiring a graveyard scene with a patchwork sky and twisting trees. Somehow the bright colors mixed with the dark themes made it seem even more unearthly. He loved it.

“I'm glad you think so,” Clarke said, “I was hoping you would like this exhibit. We’ve had it for about a week, just since Halloween. I find her work fascinating. Mine never captures this kind of dark beauty. Everything I paint is much more photorealistic.”

“Your work is beautiful too,” Bellamy said.

“Clarke,” a voice came from behind them, “surprised to see you here on your day off.”

“Can't get enough of the place I guess,” she joked with a smile, “or at least enough showing off Leslie’s work to everyone that will look at it. Lincoln, this is Bellamy, Octavia's brother. I don’t think you two had a chance to meet at the party.”

“Glad to officially meet you,” Lincoln said, holding out a hand, “Octavia speaks very highly of you.”

So this was Lincoln. He had seen the man around and heard he had just taken O on a date. He was tall and covered in tattoos and Bellamy’s first instinct was to hate him. He wanted to interrogate the older man on his intentions and where he got off date a girl nearly a decade younger than him, but Clarke's hand on his back silenced him. If nothing else, he could at least give the guy a chance, he supposed. After all, as Clarke constantly reminded him, Octavia wasn’t a kid anymore.

Besides, he couldn’t be worse than AtoIm.

“It's nice to meet you too,” Bellamy said, shaking his hand firmly, “I have to say O hasn't said nearly enough about you yet.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Lincoln is one of the best curators in the state,” she said, “and he's doing his best to teach me. I'm lucky to have met him.”

Lincoln chuckled. “You are going to be a wonderful curator yourself one day, Ms. Griffin.”

“Lincoln,” someone called from the other side of the gallery, “I need you.”

Lincoln sighed and rolled his eyes to Clarke before pasting on a smile and turning. “What can I help you with, Diane?”

Bellamy waited until the other man was out of earshot before speaking again. “Lincoln seems… experienced.”

Clarke laughed and looped her arm with his. “He's a good man,” she said. “I know he's a bit older than you probably would like for Octavia but I think he'll be good for her. She could use someone responsible in her life.”

“You're probably right,” he acquiesced.

Clarke just smiled and shook her head. “Come on,” she said, “let's go look at the original Picasso we have on display.”

The pair spent another hour wandering around the gallery before Clarke declared she was hungry. They headed to Mount Weather for lunch. Clarke treated them both to a hearty bowl of chili and they talked almost more than they ate. Bellamy was still blown away how easy it was just to be with her. They were nearly done with their food before Bellamy brought up Octavia and Lincoln again.

“It's just hard watching my baby sister grow up,” Bellamy admitted.

“I'm sure it is,” Clarke said, “but she's not a baby anymore. Octavia is all grown up now and needs to make her own choices and her own mistakes. For the record, though, I think they could be good for each other. Lincoln has just the right amount of quiet patience for a free spirit like her. He’s not a partier or a criminal. He has worked hard to get where he is.”

“You're right,” Bellamy said, “but that doesn't mean I have to make it easy for them.”

“I never imagined you would,” she replied.

They took their time walking back to Arkadia. The weather had warmed just enough to make the walk pleasant and Bellamy wasn’t quite ready to not be in her company. Just before they reached the building, both of their phones went off. Glancing at the message, he saw it was a group chat that both he and Clarke were a part of. Clarke groaned as she read the message.

“They want to go bowling,” she said with a groan.

“I take it you don’t approve?”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s just been a while,” she said, “I’m not a big fan of losing.”

Bellamy laughed as he walked her to her door. “Well then,” he said, “I am thoroughly looking forward to kicking your butt.”

“Is that right?” Clarke said.

“Absolutely,” Bellamy replied, “I’ll have you know I won a bowling competition in fourth grade. I’m very good.”

“Oo, fourth grade,” Clarke smiled, “very impressive. Alright, you’re on, Blake.”

“I’ll see you at 7:30, then.”

“You're going down.”

“We shall see, Princess.”

At 7:30 on the dot, Clarke showed up. Her hair was pulled back and she was wearing her own bowling shoes because of course, she was. Bellamy shook his head and laughed.

“You ready to lose, Blake?” Clarke said.

“It's cute that you have such lofty dreams,” Bellamy replied.

“Finally!” Octavia said when they joined the group. “So we took a poll and decided it's going to be boys versus girls tonight.”

“What poll?” Miller asked. “No one said shit to me.”

“Ok fine,” Octavia said, “so maybe I decided that it was boys versus girls. Whatever. Point is me, Clarke, Raven, and Harper are going to decimate you, Bell, Monty, and Shaw.”

“Where's Jasper?” Bellamy asked.

“On a date with Maya,” Monty replied with a grin.

“Damn,” Clarke said, that's the second one this week.”

“Our boy is smitten as hell,” Harper said with a laugh.

“What about Wick?” Clarke asked.

“Convention,” Raven and Bellamy said at the same time making everyone laugh.

“It’s too bad Murphy was stuck working tonight,” Bellamy said as they set their names on the computer to names of Disney villains, per Harper’s suggestion, “I actually could have beaten him. He sucks at pool and usually gets pissed halfway through, gives up, and pouts at the bar.”

“But he would have been on your team,” Shaw said, “seeing as he’s a guy.”

“In that case, it’s a good thing he switched me shifts tonight.”

“Alright guys,” Octavia said, “let's play.”

As they played it was abundantly clear that none of them were very good. By the end of the first game, Raven had thrown three gutter balls, Octavia had managed to get one stuck, and Clarke had accidentally thrown her ball into the wrong lane. The boys weren't fairing much better. Bellamy had gotten one strike but barely knocked down any other pins since, Monty had knocked down a total of twenty pins, and Shaw had gotten two spares and nothing else. Thus far, the only one who had done anything noteworthy was Miller with two strikes and two spares.

Even still, they were having entirely too much fun. After a few pitchers of beer, most of the group wasn't even paying much attention to the game anymore. Raven was sitting on Shaw’s lap and whispering things in his ear that were making him blush and laugh, Harper and Monty disappeared to the karaoke that was going on in the bar, and Miller was playing what looked like Words with Friends and smiling in a way that made Clarke fairly certain that the game acted as some weird form of flirtation with Jackson that she didn’t want to know about.

Bellamy and Clarke, on the other hand, kept getting more and more competitive. And with the competition came more flirting. Each time they were both waiting for their turn, she seemed hell-bent on being near him and he gravitated right back. Frequently she would brush her fingers across his back or put a hand on his arm when she laughed at a joke he made. Each time it happened and with each touch or smile, Bellamy felt himself slowly coming undone in all the best ways.

By the end of the third game, both he and Clarke were doing much better. Between them, they had nearly evened the score. It was the last frame when Bellamy managed to throw two strikes and Clarke only got a spare that the boys finally won.

“Ha!” Bellamy yelled as the girls all groaned.

“Ok ok,” Octavia said, “you won fair and square. No need to rub it in.”

“Oh no,” Miller said, high fiving Shaw, “I will be hanging this over your head for ages.”

“Like you had much to do with it,” Raven said, rolling her eyes. “You bowled great the first game and then tanked the rest.”

“Who cares?” Miller said, “I still won by proxy.”

Clarke laughed. “Guess we'll just have to have a rematch sometime,” she said, “I was getting better. I think I'll have you guys next time.”

“Hey,” Octavia said, “what about me?”

“I'm sure you will get better too,” Bellamy said, “I mean, you only got three gutter balls the last game so it's not like you can get much worse.”

Octavia punched him in the arm.

“Come on,” Raven said, linking arms with Octavia and Clarke, “let's go sing some karaoke.”

“Raven Reyes singing,” Shaw said, “this I’ve gotta see. I wonder if they’ve drunk enough to convince them to do Spice Girls or something like that.

“I'm down,” Octavia said. “And then Monty and I can totally do a sick rendition of Summer Lovin. He’s always a willing karaoke partner.”

Bellamy laughed and rolled his eyes. “Smoke?” He asked Miller.

“Absolutely,” Miller said, already heading toward the door. “Anything to put off your sister inevitably dragging me up on that stage to sing something embarrassing.”

The two men lit up in silence and stayed that way for a bit, enjoying the late fall air. The night was cold and bracing and made each breath feel like ice water, but Bellamy relished it after being in the overly hot alley. It was Miller who finally spoke.

“So,” he said, with an all-knowing tone that Bellamy had always hated, “you and Clarke seemed close tonight. Even more than normal, and that’s impressive considering you two are practically glued together lately.”

“It's not like that and you know it,” Bellamy replied, leveling his gaze at his best friend. He didn’t take the hint.

“But you want it to be,” Miller said.

Bellamy sighed and rubbed at the headache slowly forming between his eyes, a telltale sign that he was thinking too much, “I don't know,” he said, “it's weird. I legit didn't like her in the beginning. But the more I get to know her-”

Bellamy couldn't decide how to finish that sentence. There was clearly something between them. He cared about her, that was for sure, but was he willing to risk it? He didn't even know how she felt. Though, admittedly, her actions over the last week would suggest the feelings were returned.

“I like her,” Bellamy said, “that's obvious. But I don't know. She's so close with my sister and the group is really solid right now.”

“You're afraid that pursuing it will screw things up?” Miller asked.

“Yeah,” Bellamy said. “I just feel like it's so much easier to keep things the way they are.”

“Take it from someone who knows,” Miller said, “the feelings won't magically go away just because you ignore them. They linger and eventually, something has to give. It can be just as bad to pine because that can lead to resentment. I think this thing with you and Clarke could be really good if you let it be.”

Bellamy sighed and answered so quietly he was surprised Miller could hear him. “I think I'm falling for her.”

“Well, I could have told you that about a month ago,” Miller said with a fond laugh, “but here's the question. Now that you've realized it, what are you going to do about it?”

With that, Miller snuffed his cigarette out on his boot and grabbed Bellamy’s shoulder, giving it a hearty pat before shoving off the wall and back inside.

Bellamy stayed outside a bit longer trying to get his thoughts straight. His friend's words kept bouncing around his head. Bellamy was falling for Clarke, that much he knew. She was funny, smart, feisty, and gorgeous. Miller was right though, what was the point in holding back from something they both clearly wanted? Maybe it really could work out.

But what if it didn't? What if the closeness he had found with Clarke the last few months just disappeared when they tried to be something more? Wick and Raven had tried and fizzled right away as soon as they went from just casual flirting to attempting to be something real. If they split up what would happen with their friends? He had never been great at making new friends but he wouldn’t put them in a position where they had to choose. This is why Bellamy always tried so hard to avoid dating and never dated within his circle.

Even still, she was under his skin. He could smell the coconut and honey of her shampoo that lingered around him when they hugged. He could feel her hand is his when she would drag him somewhere when she was excited. Bellamy put his head in his hands.

“Bellamy?” Clarke asked, coming outside. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” he said, “I just have a bit of a headache.”

“I think I have some ibuprofen in my bag,” she said, opening her purse and digging around.

Bellamy smiled and just managed to stop himself kissing her. “Always taking care of me,” he said, “but really, I'm ok. Thanks.”

“I'll always take care of you, Bellamy,” Clarke said, eyes filled with a mix of concern and affection. “Don’t you know that by now?”

“I do,” Bellamy said, pulling her in for a tight hug and dropping a kiss in her hair. Having her like this, wrapped up in his arms with her head on his chest, he never wanted to let go. But, eventually, he had to. He coughed and tousled his hair. “Wanna go take a shot and sing something I will definitely regret in the morning?”

“Together?” Clarke asked and held out her hand.

“Together,” Bellamy said, pulling her under his arm as they headed back into their friends.

If only she knew just how much he really meant by that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, does anyone else really want to go to a bowling alley now? Just me. Cool, cool. Anyways, hope you enjoyed this update. I know we are all dreading this hiatus but hey, think of all the fic you could read in that time! Let me know what you all think!
> 
> For those that are curious, there is a playlist that goes with this fic.
> 
> If you don't mind some light spoilers (more like hints) each song is the title of a chapter. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).


	11. Ready to Fall

  


Clarke was happy to finally have a day to herself on Wednesday. The last two weeks had been nearly nonstop and she was ready for some alone time. Her plans weren't all that complicated. A pot of coffee was keeping warm, she was in her comfiest pj’s, and she had her latest painting waiting on her easel. She had decided to paint the sunrise she and Bellamy had gone to see a few days prior. It had been unbearably cold and there had been a thin layer of fog blanketing the world, but the scene had been astoundingly beautiful.

An hour into her morning, she was covered in paint and was already two cups of coffee deep when there was a knock on her door.

“It's open!” Clarke called out, not looking up. It wasn't unusual for Octavia to stop by for a beer or some coffee. She was grateful for the close relationship the two had gained since she moved here. It reminded her of what she had with Wells and made her feel a little more at home.

The door creaked open and she heard footsteps coming toward her. Still, she didn't look up as she was entirely too engrossed in her painting. Because of that, she was surprised when she heard an appreciative whistle behind her. Her back tensed, immediately knowing who it was.

“That's amazing,” Bellamy said.

Clarke turned and smiled up at him nervously. “Bellamy,” she said, “what are you doing here?”

Bellamy held up the umbrella in his hand and smiled back. “Just wanted to return this,” he said, “thanks for it the other day. You saved me from looking like a drowned rat.”

Clarke snorted. “You could never look like a rat, Bell.”

The two stood a bit awkwardly and Clarke didn't know what to say. Despite herself, she was suddenly extremely conscious of the state of her apartment. There were empty takeout boxes on her coffee table, a couple of empty glasses of wine on the end table, and a bunch of clothes dropped over the back of the couch. On top of that, she knew she was covered in paint and her hair was like a bird's nest on her head.

Still, this was Bellamy. Why was she so worried about what he would think? She refused to answer that question as she shook her head to dislodge the thoughts.

“Is that from the other morning?” Bellamy asked, looking at her painting.

Clarke was happy for a distraction. Painting she could talk about. “Yeah,” she said, “that day was so gorgeous. I just had to paint it.”

“You're really talented,” Bellamy said.

“Thanks,” Clarke said, trying in vain to fight blush she was sure was creeping onto her cheeks.

“I like your place,” he said, looking around.

“God, really?” She asked. “It’s such a dump right now. I don’t know what’s worse, the embarrassing number of takeout containers or random sweaters and jeans that I haven’t bothered to throw in the laundry. Or maybe it’s the paint stains all over me.”

Clarke laughed but Bellamy just shook his head and smiled. “This place is hardly a dump,” he said simply, “a little messy, maybe. I’ll concede that. But it’s not a dump. It just feels very… you.”

“I feel like I should be offended by that,” Clarke said.

“No,” Bellamy said, smiling fondly, “it’s not an insult. This place just feels like somewhere you can just be you. No worries about what anyone might think. No concerns about judgment. Just you living your life and doing whatever the hell you want.”

“Whatever the hell I want,” Clarke said. “If only life were that simple.”

“It can be,” Bellamy replied, “if you want it to be. No one’s stopping you from having what you want, Clarke.”

Clarke faltered and swallowed against the lump that had formed in her throat. If only he knew what she really wanted was him. But some things weren’t up to her. “Your optimism is getting in the way of the grumpy old man facade you try to show the world.”

“Maybe I’m just learning that there’s another way,” he said. “Maybe you’ve shown me that.”

Clarke didn’t know what to say so she twirled her paintbrush in silence. She was so unsure of her own life. How could this man, this amazing man, possibly have learned a lesson from her? Clarke would probably say that she was more of a realist than an optimist but she did believe that there was always hope. Things could always get better, no matter how bad they were. She was a testament to that. She just never imagined anyone else had noticed.

As it turned out, apparently someone had.

A few moments passed where neither of them said a word. The air was charged with all the things neither of them was brave enough to say yet.

In the end, Bellamy cleared his throat and broke the tension.

“But hey,” Bellamy said, “I actually have to get to work. Her royal pain in my ass is back in town for some fancy function or some shit. I don't know why she always requests me but it's always the bane of my week.”

“I know why Echo requests you,” Clarke said with a smirk.

“Oh yeah?”

“She wants to fuck you.”

Bellamy choked and laughed at the same time. “Jesus Christ, Clarke,” he said, “I sincerely hope you're wrong.”

“I'm not,” Clarke said with a laugh. “That girl would jump you in a second if you were down.”

“Ugh,” Bellamy said, grimacing, “not even kind of. She’s not exactly my type. Cold and scary aren’t a turn on.”

“Oh yeah?” Clarke asked, pointedly not looking him in the eye. “So if tall, leggy, brunettes who know what they want, are a bit bossy, and don’t take no for an answer don’t do it for you what does?”

From the corner of her eye, she could see a blush spreading beneath Bellamy’s freckles. It made him look even more adorable.

“For one,” Bellamy said, tucking a stray hair behind Clarke’s ear and looking her in the eyes, “I tend to prefer blondes. The bossy thing, though, I think I can deal with.”

For a long moment, they just stood there, his hand gently caressing her cheek and their eyes locked. Finally, Clarke had to turn away in a feeble attempt to regain her composure.

“Well,” Clarke said, hoping the heat in her cheeks wasn’t as obvious as she feared, “I wouldn't want to keep you from your very important duties with her royal pain in the ass. Go to work, Bellamy. I’ll see you later.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes. “Alright,” he said, “will I see you at TonDC tomorrow, at least?”

“Can't,” Clarke said. “I have a huge project I'm doing for Lincoln. We have this big holiday gala planned and he has me organizing the whole thing. I have to meet with the investors tomorrow for dinner. Lots of boring schmoozing with people who won't even remember my name the next day. But we need the donations.”

“I doubt anyone could forget you,” Bellamy said.

Clarke blushed again and looked away. Bellamy made his way to the door but turned just as he was leaving.

“Hey,” Bellamy said, “do you have any plans Saturday night?”

“Not that I know of,” Clarke said.

Bellamy ran a hand through his curls and had trouble meeting her eyes. “Cool,” he said, “I mean, so, um, there's this indie film festival in town. It's kinda silly. You have to dress up and shit. But the food is pretty good and there's usually a few good films and a band. I just thought- well. Do you want to go with me?”

“Sure,” Clarke said, beaming at him. She would never turn down an excuse to spend more time with Bellamy.

“Yeah?” Bellamy asked, eyes snapping to her in surprise. As if she would have said anything else.

Clarke laughed. “Yeah,” she said, “it sounds fun. I'd be happy to go with you.”

“Alright,” Bellamy said grinning from ear to ear, “it's a date. I mean- not like- you know what I mean. Whatever. I'll pick you up on Saturday at like five. Ok. Well… I'll see you then.”

Before Clarke could even say anything he was out the door. She shook her head, smiling fondly, and wondering what had gotten into him. Bellamy wasn't usually that unsettled. They had hung out a million times. It’s not like this was something different. Was it? Unless...

No, it couldn’t be. He even said it wasn’t a date. With a sigh, she poured herself another cup of coffee and went back to her painting. What she needed was a distraction from that unhelpful train of thought.

The problem was, her entire apartment felt like him now and she poured everything she tried to pretend she wasn't feeling into her work. Things were different between them, but something about it excited her. She wasn’t sure why but Bellamy had become a permanent fixture in her life and she couldn’t imagine her life without him in it. 

It was only later when she was talking to Harper and Octavia over happy hour drinks at TonDC that the weight of the situation began to hit her.

“He did what!” Octavia shrieked.

“Shh,” Clarke said, entirely too aware that the entire bar was now looking at the three of them, “stop freaking out. He just asked me to go to a movie festival with him. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Are you insane?” Octavia countered. “This is a huge deal. He asked you to be his date to a movie festival that is insanely important to him that, conveniently, I have already asked Lincoln to go with me to. A movie festival that is more swanky than anything Bell usually goes to and involves fancy dresses and drinking and dancing. It’s certainly bigger than anything he took Gina to and she was actually his girlfriend.”

“It’s not a date,” Clarke said, quietly.

“I have to admit,” Harper said, “it does kind of seem like a date to me. And we all know how good I am at these things. It took me six months before I even realized Monty and I were dating.”

“See,” Octavia said without hesitation, “even Harper thinks it’s a date, and she’s the queen of missing signs. No offense, Harper.”

“None taken,” Harper said with a smile. “Hey. I have an idea. Let’s call in the cavalry. Who better than all of your closest girlfriends to gossip about your non-date-date with?”

Octavia beamed and Clarke shook her head but smiled, knowing exactly where this was going.

“Sleepover?” Octavia asked.

“Sleepover!” Harper replied with a grin. “What do you say, Clarke? You in?”

Clarke sighed dramatically. “Alright,” she said, “rally the troops. But this time it’s Harper’s turn to host. I’ve broken enough wine glasses for a lifetime having all of you over. Thank god I don’t have a white couch or rug.”

“You’re on!” Harper said.

All three girls went to do their part of the planning. Harper would handle the booze because she was the bartender of the bunch and was playing hostess. Octavia would secure food, which basically just meant sweet-talking Jasper into letting them take a bunch of hot wings and pizza from the kitchen to supplement Harper's never-ending supply of chips and salsa, cheese and crackers, and ice cream. Clarke would rally Raven and Maya (who had become a new staple in their group) and make sure they got enough parking passes for everyone who was driving to the Dropship.

It was only an hour later that all the girls showed up for their impromptu girls night.

“We’re back, bitches!” Octavia yelled as soon as she entered Harper’s apartment holding two massive bags Clarke assumed were filled with their food with Harper trailing behind with another bag she was certain was filled with enough booze to drown a whale. Clarke was suddenly very glad she didn’t have to be anywhere until five the next day.

Raven got up to help Octavia and Harper in the kitchen while Maya and Clarke got the living room set up. The couches had been pushed back to make room for a ton of blankets and pillows to cover the floor. They had a stack of romcom’s by the tv, wine glasses were already set up on a side table with popcorn, and the stereo was already playing Octavia’s artfully constructed ninety’s girl pop playlist she had made specifically for girls-nights. As the rest of the girls came back into the room, Clarke looked around and smiled. If someone had told her a year ago she would be having a girly sleepover with her friends she would have laughed at them. Yet here they were, having what she was sure was at least their fourth in the last two months. She couldn’t believe this was her life but she wouldn't change it for anything.

The girls gorged themselves on pizza and jalapeno poppers, a new one for Octavia, and went through the first three bottles of wine in under an hour. They managed to make it through their first movie with little interruption before the wine got away from them and they turned off the tv to just talk.

“How’s your last year of school going, O?” Harper asked.

“It’s going really well,” Octavia replied, “I’m taking this course on Ancient Roman architecture this semester that's super interesting. I can’t get Bell to stop stealing my books.”

“I might have to steal some of them too,” Maya said. “I bet they would really help the art class I’m taking next year when I start the art portion of my master's program.”

“Being around all of you academics almost makes me wish I hadn’t dropped out freshman year,” Harper said, “but then I remember how much I fucking hate school and how much money I’m making and I change my mind.”

They all laugh and Clarke rolls her eyes. “You’re smarter than almost anyone I know,” she said. “You’re going to do big things with or without college.”

“Obviously,” Harper said, raising her glass in a toast.

“How have things been with Jasper, Maya?” Raven asked.

The girl flushed and looked away. “It's been really good,” Maya said, “better than I would have imagined. He's so sweet and romantic and funny. I've never felt like this about anyone.”

“Are you sure we’re talking about the same person?” Octavia joked. “Goofy Jasper? Really obsessed with recreational drugs and video games? Went through a three year period where he wore goggles in his head because he thought it was cool? I’ve seen the pictures, I know it happened. That Jasper?”

“Ignore her,” Clarke said, “the rest of us do.”

Octavia shoved Clarke and Maya blushed.

“Yes that Jasper,” Maya said. “He makes me really happy, actually. He's brought me flowers for every date, took me to a drive-in a city away because they were playing my favorite movie, and even agreed to come to meet my family for Thanksgiving next week.”

Clarke groaned at the thought of Thanksgiving. It reminded her that she had less than a week before she would have to put on an uncomfortable dress, sit in an uncomfortable dining room eating food she didn’t really like, with her mom asking her questions she really didn’t want to answer. At least she would have Wells and Roan as a distraction, and lord knew they were likely to draw more attention than she did with everyone talking about their rapidly approaching wedding. “Can we not use the T-word?”

Octavia expertly raised an eyebrow at that. Clake was only a little jealous that she could do that. “I’m surprised you don’t like Thanksgiving, Clarke,” she said. “Don’t you get to go eat, like, a ten-course meal off diamond plates or something?”

All the girls, Clarke included, snickered at that mental image.

“First of all,” Clarke said, “I’m not that rich. Yes, it will be stuffy as hell and super awkward as my mom grills me about when I’m going to finish medical school or settle down and give her grandbabies but it isn’t like I’m going to dinner with The Queen. Second, can we go back to talking about Maya and Jasper, please?”

Maya blushed before Harper smiled and refilled all of their drinks. “Yes,” she said, “that is much more interesting than Clarke’s non-royal family.”

Harper winked at Clarke when she mouthed a quick thank you to her friend.

“I think you're good for him,” Raven chimed in. “He's gotten a lot more serious since he met you. Granted, it's been two weeks, but the change is obvious. He's crazy about you.”

“I'm glad because I'm crazy about him too,” Maya said. “It's amazing how fast I'm falling for him. I feel like I've known him my whole life.”

“You deserve to be happy,” Clarke said, “and I'm glad it's him that could be that for you. Jasper may be silly and goofy but he’s such a good guy. He deserves to be happy as much as you do.”

“So,” Octavia began, filling everyone's wine glasses again, “Are you going to tell them the big news, Clarke?”

Clarke rolled her eyes, realizing she should have seen this coming. “It’s not news,” she said, “you’re making too big a deal out of it.”

“I don’t know,” Harper said with a smile, “Bellamy asking you out is pretty headline-worthy, if you ask me?”

“He did what now?” Raven exclaimed.

“Wow,” Maya said, “I never thought he’d get the guts.”

“Bellamy didn’t ask me out,” Clarke said. “At least not the way you guys are implying. He just asked me to go to this indie film fest with him. It’s no big deal.”

“Do you mean the Lights and Sounds Festival?” Raven asked

“It’s gotta be,” Harper said. “It’s the only one in town this time of year.”

“Clarke,” Maya said, looking at her friend seriously, “that event is far from nothing. You have to get dressed up in formal attire, celebrities fly in from all over the place, it’s a massive deal. It’s the biggest event our town has. I mean, it’s not Sundance or anything but it is a pretty show-stopping event. They have a red carpet and everything.”

“Plus,” Raven added, “it’s a big deal to Bellamy. He’s gone every year since he started working for Kane’s Security. The only person he’s ever brought before is Octavia a few times. He’s never even had a casual date there.”

Clarke could feel the flush on her cheeks reaching all the way to her ears. Everything her friends were saying made sense. Yet she was more confused than ever She downed the rest of her wine. Bellamy hadn’t made it seem like that big of a deal when he’d asked her. In fact, she was pretty sure he had called it stupid or silly or something like that. Why was he downplaying it to her?

“I think I need a cigarette,” Clarke said, standing too quickly and nearly knocking over her now empty glass in the process.

Raven wordlessly held one out for her and Clarke stumbled out to the patio sealing her snickering friend behind the glass door. Octavia followed her out.

“You keep saying this festival is such a big deal to him but I don’t understand,” Clarke said, frustrated. “I know it’s fancy or whatever but he’s never seemed to care about that kind of stuff. So why is it so huge?”

Octavia bit her lip and looked at the ground. “I don’t know if I should tell you this,” she said. “The truth is, it’s not really my secret to tell. But you deserve to know and I don’t see him admitting to it. I’m sure you’re aware that our mom died?”

“Yeah,” Clarke said. “He’s mentioned it but doesn’t seem to really like talking about it.”

“He doesn’t,” Octavia replied with a sad smile. “The truth is, neither of us do. I won’t act like she was the perfect mother because she wasn’t. But she was our mother nonetheless. Bellamy got a lot more time with her than I did. The one thing I do remember is she loved movie nights. Tried to make sure she introduced us to everything from Gone with the Wind to Fahrenheit 9/11.”

Clarke laughed at the image of their mother showing a young Bellamy and Octavia such an inappropriate movie for their age.

Octavia’s smile got a bit happier. “I know,” she said, “very smart of her. No one ever accused her of good judgement. The point is, she loved films. When the festival started coming to town she would pack us up in the car and we would drive down to watch all the celebrities arriving and marvel at the grandeur of it all. She swore she would take us one day. She died before she could make that a reality.”

Clarke couldn’t help the tears that filled her eyes at the thought. It made sense now and she couldn’t help wondering why Bellamy thought she was the right person to bring to this event that was so close to his heart.

“Look,” Octavia said, standing to go back inside, “I can’t say for certain what he’s thinking. Maybe he really does just think this is something you would enjoy and he’s ready to put the past behind him. But maybe it's more than that. A gesture. All I know is don’t count this out. I think he cares about you and I think you care about him too. Just think about it, ok?”

With that, the other woman went back inside leaving Clarke with a lot on her mind.

As she lit her cigarette and took a deep drag she thought back on everything that had been happening with them over the last few weeks. Maybe things had been different. How had she been so blind to it? Maybe this was a date. She felt so foolish not knowing.

The bigger question was, did Clarke want it to be a date? She would be lying if she said she hadn't thought about it. Despite their admittedly rough start, they had gotten a lot closer lately. She thought about him when she woke up and went to sleep, she worried about what he thought about things, and she wanted him included in every aspect of her life. It didn't hurt that he was gorgeous.

She was surprised by how much the answer didn’t scare her. The truth was she did want this to be a date. She wanted to be able to hold his hand and steal his jacket when she got cold. She wanted to press close to him as they danced. She wanted to kiss him.

Jesus Christ, she wanted to date Bellamy Blake. It all had happened quite without her permission or her noticing. All she hoped what this newest revelation would turn out as good as all her crazy friends seemed to think it would. And that it was what he wanted, too.

With a final drag, she snuffed out her cigarette and headed back inside where someone had decided to break out Harper’s Just Dance game. Tonight she would put it out of her mind but now she knew.

She was going on a date with Bellamy and part of her felt like she couldn't breathe. But god was she excited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know that gif from Th Office where he's just yelling "It's Happening!" really loudly? That's sort of how I feel with this chapter. I know I know, I keep saying we are getting somewhere. But we have to be now, right?
> 
> For those that are curious, there is a playlist that goes with this fic.
> 
> If you don't mind some light spoilers (more like hints) each song is the title of a chapter. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).


	12. Start of Something Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about getting this chapter out late. I had a pretty bad weekend and just didn't have the ability to be creative. Thank you for being patient though. Hopefully, this chapter was worth the wait ;)

  


“I have nothing to wear,” Bellamy said, digging through his closet as Octavia put her makeup on in his room.

She rolled her eyes at him. “Could you sound more like a girl?” Octavia teased.

“I'm serious, O,” Bellamy said, picking up and discarding the same suit jackets and ties for about the hundredth time. “Everything I own that's remotely nice enough for this stupid festival either makes me look like an eighty-year-old professor or like I'm going to a funeral.”

Octavia finished putting on the blood-red lipstick that perfectly matched her red dress which was a bit too slinky for Bellamy’s taste, but he had already been chewed out for saying so. She sighed deeply and pushed him aside.

“And why exactly is the blue suit you've worn the last three years to this stupid thing suddenly not good enough?” Octavia said.

Bellamy fought the blush fighting to invade his face. “You know why,” he said, giving her a pointed look in the mirror.

Octavia smiled affectionately but didn't tease him about it anymore. She was quiet for a minute before pulling out a simple charcoal grey suit jacket and pants, a white button-up shirt, and a tie with a pale lavender paisley pattern.

“Here,” she said, shoving the outfit into his hands. “The gray is less stuffy than black so you don’t look like a waiter. The paisley makes it fun but still nice enough for a formal event. And I happen to know that Clarke chose a lavender gown that’s almost the same shade as the tie with a gray coat, black heels, and a black clutch. You'll compliment her nicely and look sharp as fuck.”

Bellamy sighed and dropped his head into his hands. “Why am I so nervous about this?” He asked pointlessly. “I mean, it's just Clarke. We’ve hung out a bunch of times. It's never been like this.”

“Because, my naïve older brother,” Octavia said on her way out of the room, “this is the first time it's ever meant something more.”

Bellamy took a deep breath to steady himself and looked in the mirror. He held up the outfit she picked out and had to admit it did look good. Also, Octavia was right. This did mean something, a lot more than all their TonDC or coffee hangouts. Even though they hadn't officially said it, to Bellamy at least, this was a date.

But he didn't know if she thought it was a date and all the girls were being suspiciously silent about the entire event after their sleepover the other night. Honestly, though, it didn't matter. He was going to make sure Clarke had the best night of her life and after that… well, they would just have to see what happened after tonight.

“Come on, Big Brother,” Octavia said, “get dressed. We have about twenty minutes until we have to go.”

Bellamy sighed and nodded as Octavia left his room. Tonight would be fine. They were going to have a great time. With a deep, fortifying breath he got into his outfit and headed for the living room. Lincoln and Octavia were already there, waiting for him. Though he would never admit it out loud, the two looked good together. They complimented each other well. Octavia in her somewhat provocative, floor-length, ruby gown and Lincoln in a black suit, black tie, and a red shirt that matched Octavia perfectly. Bellamy chuckled lightly. Octavia may have her flaws, but she certainly knew how to write her own story. Maybe it was time Bellamy did the same.

“Alright,” Bellamy said, “I’m going to go grab Clarke. Meet you guys by the car?”

“Sounds good,” Lincoln said, “and take your time. We are in no rush. You and Clarke deserve a few minutes to yourselves. You likely won’t get another tonight with all the festivities and a girl like her deserves your attention.”

With a nod and a wink from Octavia, the pair walked out leaving Bellamy a bit awestruck. They had only met a few times and Lincoln seemed to be a man of few words, but his words never lacked clear intent. Maybe, just maybe, Octavia had finally met her match with this one.

With a shake of his head and a smile, Bellamy locked up the apartment and headed up the stairs. A few minutes before five, he stood outside Clarke’s door and took a few breaths. It would be fine. The whole thing would be fine. Better than fine if he had his way. Finally, he knocked on the door.

One beat passed and then two before he heard the distinctive clack of too high heels on the linoleum tile of her entry. Slowly, the door opened and Bellamy suddenly couldn’t breathe.

Clarke was always beautiful whether she was in a nice dress after seeing her mom for their monthly brunch or a hoodie and jeans with her hair held up by pencils. But tonight was unlike any time he had ever seen her. She was absolutely stunning. Her gown was indeed lavender, with a million straps Bellamy had no hope of understanding, a deep enough neckline to intrigue without giving too much away, and draped from her curves in a way that made her look ethereal. The fabric looked soft and flowed like water as she moved and Bellamy longed to feel how it would yield beneath his fingers. There were strategic cutouts around her waist that stretched to her back and a slit running nearly the length of her left leg. A charcoal gray shrug was slung over her arm that nearly matched Bellamy’s jacket and her hair was a tumble of curls, pinned and twirled into impossible patterns, and dotted with sparkling gems that caught the light.

She was an angel and Bellamy had never wanted anything more in his life.

“How do I look?” Clarke asked, innocently and honestly, giving a little twirl.

Bellamy had to stop himself from laughing. How could she possibly not know? “You’re breathtaking.”

She flushed immediately and smiled. “You don’t clean up so bad yourself, Blake.”

“Nothing compared to you, Princess.” Bellamy shook his head slightly and smiled, holding an arm out for her. “Shall we?”

As she looped her arm into his and followed him out the door, she smiled at him shyly and he knew. There was no one but her. If he had any doubts before that moment he didn’t now. Her heart was exactly where he was. Now he just had to have the guts to do something about it.

As they made it outside, Bellamy was in for the first shock of the evening. Octavia was leaning out of the sunroof of a stretch limousine with Lincoln leaning against it, a bit sheepishly. 

“Perks of being a member of the town’s art scene,” Lincoln said. “My Aunt Indra has lots of connections. She co-owns Polis with Dante Wallace. She said that, since Clarke and I were essentially representing her tonight, she wanted to make sure we made a powerful impression. She says power will get you everywhere.”

Bellamy stuttered but couldn’t find the words. He hated taking handouts but, even he had to admit, Clarke deserved to be a star for the evening. And stars don’t drive to important festivals in beat-up mustangs.

“Oh come on, Bell,” Octavia said, a glass of champagne in hand, “let go for one night. It’s already here. What do you have to lose?”

He glanced at Clarke who was already grinning at him. “She’s got a point, you know,” she said. “Wasn’t it you who said we could have whatever the hell we wanted?”

Bellamy stopped a moment and then smiled, trying his best not to read too much into her words. “Alright,” he said, “fuck it. Whatever the hell we want. Right, O?”

“Whatever the hell we want!” Octavia beamed and nearly spilled her drink. “Let’s get this party started!”

Bellamy chuckled as he got into the limo. With his job, it was far from the first time he was in a one. However, it was the first time as the guest as opposed to the hired hand. He had to admit, it was a pretty good feeling, especially with Clarke by his side gently laying a hand on his knee as she laughed at whatever Octavia was talking about.

The festival itself was around a thirty-minute drive from their building, but the traffic around the event made the trip take close to an hour. Not that he was surprised. As much as he may have made this event seem like nothing to Clarke originally, it really was special. Indie stars and Hollywood execs came from all over and the entire thing was way more upper class than anything Bellamy usually cared about. Still, he looked forward to it all year.

The four of them enjoyed the bottles of champagne the limo had to offer (Octavia a bit more than was probably advisable before even getting into the event, a fact she was not happy he pointed out) and they were all pleasantly warm when they arrived. Bellamy was first out and held his hand out to help Clarke make it up onto the uncomfortably high curb. Her hand rested in his a moment longer than necessary and he felt like he was on fire. Finally, she released him and he helped his sister out as well, pretending he didn’t miss Clarke’s warmth.

“Names?” A guard asked at the entrance. Bellamy gave his and Clarke’s, Lincoln announcing he and Octavia. “Alright. Here are your wristbands. Stages one and two have the movies being screened. Schedules are just inside the gate. There will be three movies per screen. The band is set up at stage three and there are bars at either end. Your party is VIP so you have a special access point for each movie, a dedicated open bar, and a firepit with complimentary smores. Can I help you with anything else, Mr. Blake.”

Bellamy blushed at the formality. He was used to this treatment when he was forced to go anywhere with his clients but being treated like he was special on his own was new. Marcus had certainly outdone himself this year, likely to make up for the nightmare that Echo had been on her last visit. “No,” he said, “thank you very much.”

“Have a great night then.”

“How fancy, Mr. Blake,” Clarke whispered into his ear as she tucked herself into his side. Her breath sent chills down his spine.

Bellamy pinched her in the side and she stuck out her tongue at him. “Don’t start,” he said, “it’s all Kane. He just puts my name on the list. They treat all the VIP ticket holders like that.”

“Sure,” Clarke said, “whatever you say, Mr. Blake.” She paused a beat and smirked even further.

Bellamy rolled his eyes and pulled her further into the event as he grabbed a commemorative program and map on their way past the first vendor.

The movie portion of the evening was amazing. Clarke was impressed by many of the animated shorts, Lincoln liked the cinematography of the fight scenes in a Chinese martial arts film, Octavia wanted to know where in the world each of the nature films was made (no doubt adding them to her already impressive bucket list of places to see before she died), and Bellamy couldn’t help but be intrigued by a historical fiction set around the fall of the Roman Empire.

Needless to say, it was nearly midnight when the real party started. Drinks were passed and poured with reckless abandon, especially in their VIP section, and the folky, indie band that played was actually really good. Bellamy made a mental note to grab one of their CD’s before the end of the evening.

The band played for an hour. As the girls danced and sipped their drinks, he and Lincoln sat by the fire watching them.

“You care for her,” Lincoln said when he saw Bellamy smiling as the girls twirled each other and laughed.

She met his eye across the crowd and smiled and waved before turning her attention back to Octavia’s sad attempt to dip her.

Bellamy nodded but didn’t take his eyes off of her. “I do, yeah. A lot more than I expected.”

“Good,” Lincoln replied. “For the record, she cares for you too. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, the way she is around you. She isn’t like that with anyone else. You’re good for her.”

Bellamy turned then and found Lincoln looking at him with that gentle intensity that dared anyone not to believe what he said. “I hope so,” Bellamy said sincerely. “And, for the record, you’re good for my sister too. I know I wasn’t the biggest fan in the beginning but I see it now, after tonight. Just don’t hurt her.”

Lincoln nodded but didn’t reply. It wasn’t long before the girls came back to the table to eat some of the food they had hastily left behind.

After many drinks, the band wrapped up and a DJ took their place. The atmosphere of the evening shifted. Many of the more important people left for after-parties and other such events. With the crowd thinned considerably, everything felt much more intimate.

It wasn’t long before Lincoln and Octavia disappeared to the dance floor leaving him and Clarke alone. She sipped her champagne and sighed looking out at the pair.

Bellamy was entranced by her. “Let’s get some of those free s’ mores and enjoy the fire.”

“That sounds perfect,” Clarke replied and took his outstretched hand.

When she sat he draped his coat around her shoulders and they both started making their sticky sweet treats. They easily got lost in each other. Clarke told him about the pieces she was working on and he told her about the progress he was making on his thesis. When she got some chocolate on her cheek he wiped it off with his thumb causing her to laugh brightly. It lit up her whole face. Full of sugar and champagne he looked out on the crowd and knew he wanted to be closer to her.

“Do you want to dance?” he heard himself ask before he knew what he was doing.

Clarke nodded, smiled, and threaded her fingers into the spaces between his. He led her to the floor just as the song shifted to something softer. She flushed as he wrapped an arm around her waist.

“I love this song,” she told him, resting her head on his shoulder.

“I don’t know it,” he said.

Softly, she began to sing in his ear.

“How would you feel if I told you I loved you? It's just something that I want to do. I'll be taking my time spending my life falling deeper in love with you. So tell me that you love me too.”

Bellamy could feel his heart race with her in his arms singing those words that seemed like they were meant just for him. She was so amazing. After tonight they could never go back to where they were and he didn’t want to. He had never felt more terrified or exhilarated in his life.

“It’s called How Would You Feel by Ed Sheeran,” Clarke told him as the melody continued to float around them.

“I love it,” Bellamy said, “he’s got an amazing voice. Just don’t tell O I said that. It’s way too much fun to tease her about her ridiculous pop music.”

Clarke chuckled and mimed zipping her lips. “My lips are sealed.”

They finished out the song and it transitioned back to something faster that he was fairly certain was The Chainsmokers. Still, they didn’t let go of each other for a few seconds. When they finally broke apart, Clarke didn’t drop his hand as she led him back to a table on the dance floor’s perimeter.

“Thank you for bringing me here tonight, Bellamy,” Clarke said looking more earnest than he had ever seen her.

Bellamy fought the flush creeping up the back of his neck. “I didn’t have much to do with it,” he said, it was all Marcus. He hooks me up with as many tickets as I need.”

“Yeah, but you’re the one who brought me,” Clarke said and then paused before continuing, a bit more cautiously. “I don’t want to overstep but Octavia did hint a bit at why this festival is a bit more important to you than you may have let on. She told me about your mom.”

Bellamy flushed and shook his head. “Of course she did,” he said, fondly as he thought about his meddling sister. “Well, then I might as well come clean. I had a complicated relationship with my mom. She wasn’t the best parent, severely lacking in maternal instincts. The truth is, I was raising Octavia long before she died. But I always wanted to make her happy, if I could.”

Clarke squeezed his hand lightly with a shy smile, urging him to go on. He took strength from her show of support.

“She always wanted to come to this,” he told her. “I think she liked the idea of rubbing shoulders with the elite, certainly a lot more than I ever did. But she also would have loved to see the movies and discuss them with other people who cared about them as much as she did. Octavia always jokes that I got my nerdish tendencies from her.”

“Certainly seems she might be right there,” Clarke said with a grin.

He rolled his eyes. “Ha ha,” he said with a smile. “The point is, she never did get to come. It wasn’t long later that I started working for Kane and was here every year. I think a part of me will always regret not being able to give all of this to her.”

“I get that,” she replied. “But I don’t think she would want you to be sad. I think she would want you to enjoy it for her, as much as you can.”

“I think you may be right,” he told her. “To be honest, that’s probably why I wanted to bring you.”

Clarke ducked to hide her smile but the tips of her ears turned pink and Bellamy’s heart skipped a beat. “You’re a sap,” she teased and then cleared her throat. “Anyways, tell me more about this Marcus Kane. You talk about him a lot.”

“He sort of became a father figure or something like that to me,” Bellamy said. “After my mom died, Marcus helped take care of us. I was eighteen and Octavia was fourteen. He helped me get our apartment and got me my job. He knew I wouldn’t be one to take handouts though. I still had to interview and pass the background check and stuff like that. He really did just help without making me feel useless.” Bellamy paused and wrung his hands together. Clarke gently took them between her own and he looked her in the eye. There was no sympathy in her eyes, only understanding with a touch of sadness. “Marcus never had kids. He treated me and O like we were his own. He was closer to a dad than my own was. He even took Murphy in when his dad was arrested and his mom was too drunk to take care of him. Murphy was always getting in trouble but Kane helped straighten him out and push his life in a better direction.”

“He sounds like a great guy,” Clarke said.

“He really is.”

As the night began to come to a close, Lincoln and Octavia finally made their way back to the two of them.

“Ready to go?” Octavia asked, eyeing Clarke and Bellamy’s entwined hands with a quirked eyebrow and a smirk.

“Sure,” Clarke said, giving Bellamy’s hand a squeeze.

The four of them made their way back to the limo that was waiting for them. They were all exhausted and the drive back to Arkadia seemed to take no time at all. Bellamy and Clarke left Lincoln and Octavia behind to say goodnight as Bellamy walked Clarke back to her floor, her hand firmly in his. Neither said much but Bellamy felt like he was standing teetering on the edge of a cliff he had no intention of stepping back from.

“I had an amazing time tonight,” Clarke said, not meeting his eyes.

“So did I,” Bellamy said. “You’re a great dancer.”

“Unintentional byproduct of growing up a society girl,” she joked.

“Well it paid off,” Bellamy teased, “you could have gone to Juilliard with your moves.”

Clarke giggled and smacked him lightly on the arm.

“I’m serious though,” Clarke said after a moment, “tonight was incredible. Seeing all those people and feeling so important. Dancing with you…” she trailed off.

“Clarke,” Bellamy couldn’t breathe. She was wrapped in his arms so close he knew her smell wouldn’t leave him for days. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her, but something told him this wasn’t quite the moment. Not yet.

Before he could say any more, Clarke stood up on her toes and kissed him on the cheek, setting every one of his nerves ablaze, both wishing for more and knowing that for now at least, this was enough.

“Sweet dreams, Bellamy.”

He smiled and reluctantly let her go. “Goodnight, Clarke.”

Clarke slowly closed her door and Bellamy felt as if he floated back to his apartment. Octavia was, thankfully, back in her room with her music playing lightly. The last thing he needed was her to see him with the grin he currently had on his face.

That night he fell asleep to dreams of blonde curls, twirling along the dancefloor to Ed Sheeran gently asking him how he would feel if she told him she loved him. He was falling and had no intention of stopping it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being patient with this late post. I hope this chapter made it worth it. Who's excited to see what happens next? What was your favorite part? Keep your eyes peeled. You might see more content before you know it!!!
> 
> For those that are curious, there is a playlist that goes with this fic.
> 
> If you don't mind some light spoilers (more like hints) each song is the title of a chapter. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).


	13. Do I Wanna Know?

  


Clarke managed to spend the last week replaying every moment of the film festival on repeat in her head like a lovestruck fifteen-year-old. The effect was making her anxious and agitated. Somehow, she and Bellamy had managed to revert back to having difficulty being in the same room as each other, much less having an actual conversation. It wasn't for lack of trying, but neither of them seemed to be able to figure out what to say.

It wasn’t that she hadn’t had a good time or that she wasn’t enjoying the memories. In fact, the happiness she felt when she remembered the feel of his warm hand on her lower back when they danced or the smile in his eyes when he wiped chocolate from her cheek had left her dizzy with happiness. She was consumed with him. The problem was that, now that they had gotten so close, they both seemed incapable of taking the next step, and instead their nerves did nothing but keep them apart. Neither seemed to have any idea how to speak to the other anymore. Except now it wasn’t from mutual loathing but desire that they both seemed hellbent on not processing.

As a result, she actually ended up enjoying the short three-day reprieve she got from everyone during Thanksgiving, surprising no one more than herself. Luckily, the entire event had gone smoothly. The food had been pretty good (Wells’ father, Thelonious, had insisted on having it catered this year), her mom had hit the wine early so she wasn’t as invested in her commentary on Clarke’s life as expected, and most of the conversation had been focused on Wells and Roan’s upcoming wedding.

At one point Wells has cornered her and demanded to know what was going on and if it involved Bellamy. She turned a shade of scarlet even more vibrant than her dress and ran from the room. Which was, obviously, very mature.

Unfortunately, this time away from Bellamy meant she was given lots of extra time to think. And try as she may, she couldn’t seem to think of anything but Bellamy. And the more she thought about him the more paranoid she became. She knew how she felt and was fairly sure he felt the same. Still, she had been in similar situations before and been wrong. He hadn’t called her since that night and had made excuses to get away every time they were alone together for more than a second. What if he had realized she wasn’t what he wanted and was trying to find a way to break it to her? What if he was already sick of her?

It was in the middle of a similar diatribe to Raven, Octavia, and Harper over drinks at TonDC the following weekend that O apparently decided she had heard enough.

“Fuck!” Octavia exclaimed, slamming her glass on the table with enough force that Clarke was shocked the thing didn’t shatter. “That’s it! I can’t do this again. You two are getting on my last nerve. Would you just fuck already and put us all out of our misery?”

“She’s got a point,” Harper said as she dried a glass, absently, “it is getting a little ridiculous.”

“Even I’ve noticed,” Jasper said from his side of the bar as Monty chuckled quietly into his beer.

Clarke rolled her eyes. “I don’t even know what you two are doing here,” she said, “seeing as your penis generally excludes you from girls night.”

“Fuck off,” Jasper said, “you know we are always included, vaginas be damned.”

“Can we please stop talking about penises and vaginas,” Monty said with a groan. “The point is, we love you Clarke but it’s time to face the facts. You and Bellamy are completely nuts for each other. One of you needs to grow a pair and do something about it.”

Everyone but Clarke laughed as she put her head in her arms. “The problem is,” she said, “now that it’s out there, or at least somethings out there, neither of us has any fucking clue what to do about it. I’ve always been shit with relationships and I highly suspect he hasn’t been that much more successful. What if it ruins everything? What if it split apart the group?”

“It isn’t doing the group much more good now that the two of you can’t even be in the same fucking room as each other again,” Raven said.

“Seriously,” Jasper continued, “just as things were starting to make sense. You go from hating each other so we all have to make plans with you separately to wanting to be friends and everything is great to wanting bone each other and having to make separate plans again. Make up your damn minds so I can plan the fucking Christmas party!”

“Yes, Jasper,” Monty said, dryly, “because your damn party is the most important part of this.”

“Damn right it is,” Jasper muttered darkly into his drink. Everyone rightly ignored him.

“Bellamy came to the gallery on Saturday,” Maya said, betraying Clarke. Her glare was met with a sympathetic frown. “They barely spoke and Bellamy left after ten minutes.”

“Ok,” Octavia said, “I’m done with this. We are having a bar night. Tomorrow. All of us. Bellamy and Clarke included. You don't get to say no”

“Here here!” Harper said to a rounding applause from everyone else.

Clarke went home that night with a twist of anticipation and anxiety knotted up in her stomach.

Tomorrow came faster than Clarke was ready for. Being around Bellamy was all she wanted but the thought of it still terrified her. They were so close to something real but she was so scared. Her past experiences had shown her nothing but heartache and disappointment making her have trouble having faith that this, whatever it was, could be everything she wanted it to be. Her last ex had told her that love was weakness before leaving her to run off to a different country.

Needless to say, she was a bit reluctant to take whatever this was and explore it.

As a result, she showed up to the bar a solid hour before everyone else to give herself time to mentally prepare. And to drink if that didn’t work.

“Hey,” Harper said, mournfully manning the bar since she couldn't pawn the shift off on anyone else.

“Hey,” Clarke said.

“You’re early,” Harper remarked, handing Clarke her usual beer.

“Yeah,” Clarke said, “just didn’t want to lose prime real estate at the bar.”

Harper rolled her eyes. “It’s a Thursday, a week after Thanksgiving, and there’s no football on any of our channels tonight.”

“Yeah well,” Clarke said after a long swig of her drink, “better safe than sorry.”

Harper snorted but otherwise didn’t comment. She knew well enough that Clarke was nervous and trying to drown her fear in booze. It was the truth, though Clarke certainly wasn’t going to say that out loud. Clarke didn’t know what tonight would bring but she suspected a few rounds would help her ability to handle whatever it may be. Enough to get a buzz but not be drunk.

As the others began to trickle in, Clarke began to feel more and more like herself. Jasper and Maya arrived first quickly followed by Monty, Miller, and even Jackson. Murphy and Emori who quickly followed with Octavia not far behind. Raven and Shaw arrived, hand in hand making Clarke smile. After a couple of rounds of shots and the arrival of the DJ, Lincoln came with his friend Nyko and Niylah, who was apparently Nyko’s cousin. At first, Clarke was worried that the cute waitress would be mad that Clarke hadn’t called but she just winked Clarke’s direction and smiled before heading to the jukebox.

“Full house tonight,” Clarke told Octavia over the sounds of some random Justin Bieber song most of their group seemed to be enjoying on the dancefloor.

“You know how it is,” Octavia said, “I called one person who called one person and so on. Before you know it it was a damn party.”

“Sure you weren’t just trying to create a buffer for me and Bellamy?” Clarke asked with a grin.

“What about me?”

Clarke froze before slowly turning to the final addition to their evening. As soon as she saw him her mouth went dry. He was dressed simply in a gray dress shirt left unbuttoned over a black AC/DC t-shirt and jeans with a leather jacket over his arm. She could smell his spicy cologne and it was making her dizzy. Even dressed casually he was easily the sexiest man in the room. Clarke couldn’t breathe.

“I’m just gonna… go… somewhere else,” Octavia said while slowly backing away, trying her hardest not to laugh.

Clarke flipped her off without removing her eyes from Bellamy’s.

“How are you?” Bellamy asked a bit awkwardly.

Clarke smiled when he absently ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m good,” she said. “How about you?”

“Not too bad,” he said. And then they were silent. The awkward moment stretched on for what felt like hours.

“So do you wanna…” she trailed off and gestured to their friends.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go.”

As the night went on they continued to be awkward and hardly said three words to each other in two hours. Clarke hated that things were so weird but at the same time she kind of loved the small thrill she got when she met his eye and he would blush or he would bump her arm in a way that didn’t feel accidental. Each time she caught his eye there was a heat that made her shiver. No matter how weird things were, she could tell all it would take was a little push and she was certain they would fall right into each other.

For her part, Clarke kept knocking back beers faster than was likely advisable. She wasn’t drunk but she knew it wouldn’t take much more. But it was helping. Before long she was able to flirt and tease Bellamy again. It felt very much the same as before except that now she was more aware of his small movements and touches than ever before. She wanted him. God, she wanted him. Now one of them just had to get the guts to do something about it.

A while after midnight Clarke decided to take her power back.

“Do you want to play a game?” she asked, indicating the pool table behind them.

Bellamy smirked. “You’re getting smoked this time.”

“You talk a big game, Blake,” she said. “Let’s see if you can actually live up to it.”

Bellamy laughed and Clarke felt it to her toes. He grabbed a cue and stuck the quarters in the table, releasing the balls. “Oh,” he said, “Don’t you worry about that. I mean, that is, if you think you can handle it.”

“I’m more than capable of handling you, Bellamy Blake.”

“I look forward to putting that to the test, Princess.” Bellamy looked at her for a moment, pupils blown, eyes flicking to her lips deliberately. She flushed as he grinned at her, wickedly. “Come on, let’s play.”

The game went quickly, and he beat her by a narrow margin.

“Two out of three?” She asked.

He nodded and they continued. It wasn’t long before their friends came over to cheer them on for game two. This one was close too, but Clarke ended up winning this time.

“Last game,” she said. “You feeling confident?”

“I am now,” he said quietly.

Clarke smiled and rolled her eyes before she went to the DJ. She hesitated a moment and then asked him to put on Arctic Monkeys. Do I Wanna Know? came streaming through and she went back to her game, swaying her hips to the beat, eyes never leaving his. Bellamy couldn’t take his eyes off her.

“You gonna hit the ball sometime this century?” Miller teased.

“Shut up,” Bellamy muttered and finally took his shot.

Back and forth they went, exchanging heated words and meaningful glances. He really did look good leaning over the table, worrying his lower lip, full of concentration. When he looked her straight in the eyes and smiled as he sunk one of his last balls, she smirked right back and shed her leather jacket revealing a sparkly halter top that she knew hugged all her curves perfectly and she may or may not have worn just to drive him crazy. Bellamy missed his next shot.

Clarke smiled and leaned slowly over the table. She made two balls and he missed his next shot. Finally, after sinking the eight ball herself, Bellamy groaned and she jumped around in victory.

“I’m the best,” she exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air and swaying to the song that was playing. “Say it. Say I’m the best. I beat you fair and square. Say I’m the best.”

Bellamy came up to her, forcing her legs against the pool table, and he pinned his hands on either side of her. He looked at her with so much desire, so much promise, that Clarke couldn’t breathe.

“You’re the best,” Bellamy said.

They stood there a moment, and then another, and suddenly the spell broke. He turned and walked straight out of the bar and Clarke had no idea what had just happened.

Suddenly she remembered where she was and the sounds of clinking glasses and laughing patrons filled her ears. She blew out a shaky breath and ran her hands through her hair.

She felt eyes on her and looked to her right.

“Go,” Raven said, shooting her a look that spoke volumes.

Clarke took another steadying breath and pushed herself off the table before grabbing her jacket and heading to the door.

Outside the night air cooled her heated skin and helped her feel more centered. It was now or never. It was time to push off that ledge. She just hoped he would catch her.

Clarke walked straight up to Bellamy and picked his pack off the little wall he was standing beside and took one. She lit her cigarette, took a deep drag, and looked him dead in the eyes.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” she asked.

“Me,” he said, incredulous, “what about you? With your stupid slinky top and sexy music? How the fuck am I supposed to act normal.”

“Maybe I don’t want you to act normal,” she said, a bit too loudly. But she was frustrated damn it.

“I don’t know what you want, Clarke!”

“I want things to be as good as they were at the film festival! I want you to dance with me and flirt with me and have fun! I want your hands on me again and your body against mine. I don’t want this weird fucking divide that's started between us!”

“It’s not that simple,” he started.

“Why the fuck not?” she yelled. “Why do we always take three steps forward and one step back? I want you, Bell. And I think you want me. Why are you acting like you can’t stand to be around me?”

“Because I fucking can’t!” he said, pacing and not meeting her eye. “That came out wrong. It’s just, I don’t know how to act around you now! Of course, I fucking want you. God, so badly. But you’re so confusing for me and it’s so complicated. You’re in my building, you’re friends with my friends and my damn sister. What if it ruins everything? What if you don’t want me like I want you? There’s just too much.”

“Bellamy,” Clarke said, but he cut her off.

“I’m serious!” He said, running an agitated hand through his hair, “It’s all so fucked up. You’re completely different than the girls I hook up with. Normally the girls I’m with have nothing to do with my group, so when it goes south it means nothing. It would mean something with you. I fell for you, Clarke. I don’t fall for people. I hook up. But that’s not what I want from you. I don’t do this, but here I am. And I have no idea what to do about it.”

Clarke was stunned into silence. She had no idea he felt that way but her heart thumped wildly in her chest. Before she could question it, she reached for his hands and his breath caught. A moment later she pressed her lips tentatively against his like a question. They were soft and warm and he gasped in surprise before deepening the kiss himself. He tasted like cigarettes and whiskey and was warm in her arms.

Clarke couldn’t get enough of him as her hands wove their way into his wild curls that were just as soft as she had imagined and pulled his body as close to her as he could get. The kiss wasn’t perfect, with too much teeth and both forgetting to breathe, and yet Clarke had never felt more complete in her life. If she had her way, she would spend the rest of her life in his arms.

When they finally pulled back to breathe he didn’t let her go far, instead just rested his forehead against her and she drank him in.

“I guess I could have done that,” Bellamy said, with a grin on his face.

Clarke shook her head and smiled before pulling him into another deep kiss, this one slower and more deliberate. They poured months of longing into each other. All the pain, frustration, and desire that had been building from the first meeting at the mailbox became a tangible entity that each of them was trying to conquer.

The air between them became stifling and the heat between her legs was becoming too much when Bellamy finally pulled back. “Do you want to get out of here?” he whispered in her ear.

Clarke smiled. “Shouldn’t we say goodbye first?”

Bellamy laughed. “Honestly,” he said, “I think they will just be happy we left together. But if you want to take the time to go back inside-.”

Clarke smiled and shook her head before kissing him hard. “That’s a very good point,” she said, “what the fuck are we still doing here?”

“After you, Princess,” Bellamy said into her ear, voice low and gravelly and full of want. The sound sent heat directly between her legs.

“No more waiting,” she said with one last bruising kiss before dragging him back the direction of their building.

Bellamy laughed and grabbed her hand, happily allowing himself to be led away with a blinding smile that mirrored Clarke’s own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S HAPPENING!!! THIS IS NOT IS DRILL!!!
> 
> Yall, I'm so excited. Look how far we've come! I wonder what we will get next? Spoiler alert, I think you are going to like it ;)
> 
> For those that are curious, there is a playlist that goes with this fic.
> 
> If you don't mind some light spoilers (more like hints) each song is the title of a chapter. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).


	14. Tighten Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, this chapter is were the fic starts to earn its rating. Nothing too crazy but I wouldn't open this at the office if you know what I mean ;)

  


Bellamy woke up with his mouth feeling like sandpaper. His head hurt a bit and the night before was a blurry mess. The weight of the silky sheets around him was a comfort and he buried himself deeper into them. After a moment, though, he realized the fabric wrapped around him felt different. He was used to the plaid flannel of his double bed and the lemon pine scent of his shampoo on his pillow. This bed was significantly softer and smelled lightly floral. Immediately his eyes snapped open and he looked around a room that was decidedly not his. The night came crashing back into him and he couldn’t help but smile. Though he was alone now, he knew Clarke couldn’t be far.

The night came back to him in bursts. He remembered stumbling back from the bar and surpassing his floor with a giggling Clarke stopping him every few feet to kiss him. She pushed him into the stairwell wall and kissed him senseless until he could hardly breathe. Her moans drove him crazy as he kept trying to quiet her so they didn’t wake their neighbors before groaning himself or laughing along with her. When they finally made it inside her apartment she had barely locked the door before he had picked her up and slammed her into it.

Their moans and sighs went late into the night. He doubted he would ever forget the way the moonlight spilling from the bedroom window on her naked body made her seem to glow or the way it felt to have her silky thighs slide over his hips and her tightness envelope him as she rode him toward her own completion. The sound of his name breathy in his ear as he drove her into the bed would be in his head every time he touched himself from today on. Although, if he was lucky, he could count on her nimble fingers and tongue to bring him all the pleasure he needed now. 

She was a goddess and he honestly didn’t know how he had gotten her here, but he wasn’t about to question it and he certainly wasn’t going to let her go.

When he finally grabbed his phone he saw a few texts from their friends he promptly ignored (it wasn’t like they hadn’t figured out what had happened last night and they could damn well wait for confirmation) and the fact that it was almost nine. Bellamy groaned as he reached down and pulled on his boxers before heading into the main room of her apartment.

Clarke was hunched over her easel with her hair pulled in a messy bun held up with paint brushes and wearing nothing but a sheet just barely covering her from the waist down. She was magnificent and his breath caught in his chest. He enjoyed just watching her for a few moments, not quite ready to break the spell. Finally, though, he came up behind her, sliding his hands down her arms and kissing behind her ear.

“Good morning, Princess,” he said.

Clarke nuzzled into his arms before she turned and smiled lazily up at him, not shy at all despite the fact that she was on full display for him. It made his mouth water. “It really is a good morning, isn’t it?”

Bellamy smiled and looked at her painting, fighting down the bubble of nerves and desire pooling in his stomach. He let himself be distracted by the work she had done instead of the swell of her breasts. It was a very nice piece after all. It was an abstract piece filled with blues and greens that reminded him a bit of water. “That’s beautiful.”

Clarke flushed and pulled the sheet up a bit, looking back at the easel. “Thanks,” she said, “I’m not quite sure what it is yet but I’m enjoying making it. It sort of came to me in a dream last night.”

Bellamy smiled and kissed her bare shoulder. She leaned into the touch and her eyes fluttered closed. Turning slowly, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a slow, deep kiss. As the sheet fell again he let his hand touch her, just happy he could. He was straining against his boxers in moments and she teased at the bulge, all the while their lips never parted. 

Finally, he pulled back and smiled at the way her pupils were blown and the flush of arousal that spread across her cheeks and her pale chest. He pressed a gentle, lingering kiss to her cheek and was pleased by her giggle. He wanted to make her make that sound every day for the rest of their lives.

“Are you hungry?” Bellamy asked when her stomach rumbled.

“‘Mm,” Clarke hummed in agreement and pouted when he removed himself from her arms.

Bellamy made his way to her kitchen and started rifling through her cabinets. “You have a depressingly small amount of food.”

“I’m too busy to cook,” she said watching him from a stool at her breakfast bar. “That’s why there are so many take out boxes all over the place.”

“Well then,” he said, “I may have to change that. You deserve a good, old fashioned home-cooked meal at least some of the time.”

“I like the sound of that. You are welcome to cook for me whenever you want, Mr. Blake.”

Bellamy shot her a small glare at the call back from the film festival and she laughed brightly. He found he couldn’t really be upset with her. Not when she smiled at him like he had hung the moon and let herself sit exposed, both physically and emotionally, as if they had been here a million times.

When he turned back to the kitchen, Bellamy managed to find eggs, milk, toast, and bacon. It wasn’t much, but he made them a nice breakfast. He silently vowed to stock her fridge the first chance he got. He was already thinking about his next weekend off and making her his famous french toast. While he cooked, Clarke made coffee and kissed him on the back or grazed his hip with the tips of her fingers as she passed. The rhythm felt so natural and easy that Bellamy couldn’t believe how long it had taken them to get there. Everything with Clarke just felt so right and he felt a bit like a fool for ever thinking it would be anything different.

When they finally sat down to eat, Clarke moaned with pleasure at the first bite. “This is so good,” Clarke said, “I can’t believe my kitchen was capable of this.”

Bellamy laughed. “It’s just eggs.”

“Fucking amazing eggs, you could be a chef,” Clarke said, pulling out her phone and groaning. “Shit. I have to get in the shower. I’ve got work in an hour.”

Bellamy smiled. “Want company?”

Clarke flushed but nodded. The shower took longer than was likely advisable and Clarke would definitely have wet hair for the first part of her shift, but she didn’t seem to mind as she rode his fingers and sank her teeth into his shoulder to keep from screaming. Clarke left twenty minutes late but he couldn’t bring himself to feel guilty. The second he kissed her goodbye he missed her.

When he got back in his apartment, Octavia was watching TV with the volume turned way up. He couldn’t help laughing out loud realizing she probably knew everything now. She glanced over and smirked, muting the tv. “Welcome home, big brother,” she said. “Have a good night? And morning?”

Bellamy rolled his eyes but couldn’t wipe the grin off his face. “Shut up, O.”

Her laughs followed him into his room as he closed the door and flopped on the bed, smiling like an idiot.

A few minutes later his phone buzzed loudly and he groaned remembering the texts from Miller and Wick he had been ignoring all morning. This time it was Miller calling him.

“What do you want?” Bellamy said.

Miller chuckled. “So grumpy for someone who just got laid by the woman of his dreams.”

“Maybe you were interrupting,” Bellamy retorted.

“Nope,” he said, “don’t try it, Blake. I ran into Clarke in the parking lot on my way back from Kane’s.”

“Oh yeah,” Bellamy said, sitting up and idly flipping through channels on his tv without really seeing what was on. “How was last night? You got a new contract right?”

“Yeah,” Miller replied, “it was alright. Sucks I had to leave the bar early though, but the money is worth it. Five k a paycheck, can you believe that shit? If that’s the money you’re pulling, which I damn well know you are, you should own this place by now. Anyways, it’s a big contract. Intense as fuck family though. That bitch Josie was there. Pretty sure Murphy would hit that if he could. Seriously, though, how do I always get the terrible ones?”

“Well,” Bellamy said, “for one, you’re green. For two, Kane’s still testing to see what you’re made of and how far you can be pushed. Three, you don’t have all of them. I still am the only fucking person Echo will accept. Four, Murphy will fuck anything with a pulse.”

“One, Murphy is a claimed man now. No more random skanks for him. I’m pretty sure if he even looked at a girl for too long Emori would murder them. Lord knows she keeps him in line. Two, I bet Echo’s gonna be stoked when she finds out Clarke is your girlfriend. I wish I could be there when she finds out, which she will because that bitch knows everything. It’s creepy, actually.”

“I don’t even know if that’s what Clarke is, yet. It was just one night, she might just want to be casual. Which is fine, obviously.” Bellamy picked at the skin around his nails, trying to keep his voice neutral.

“Oh please,” Miller said and Bellamy could practically hear him roll his eyes, “you two have been in love with each other for ages. The dam just needed to break. Now that it has you both will be unbearable. One night won’t even be close to enough for either of you. If we thought you were bad before I can only imagine how it will be now. You just needed to man up and make it happen.”

Bellamy laughed. “Sounds like someone should take their own advice. How is Jackson, anyways?”

“Fuck off,” Miller said. Bellamy just laughed harder. “You done? Good. The actual reason I was calling was to see if you wanted to go out tonight. I know Clarke’s busy, Raven’s got a date with Shaw, and Jackson goes back to the city for a few days tonight. So I’m thinking guys night?”

“Yeah,” Bellamy said. He hadn’t had a proper guys night in too long and it was about time he blew off some steam. “What did you have in mind?”

“Pizza, beer, pool? Around seven?”

“Sounds good to me. I’ll call Wick, you call Murphy, and I’ll meet you there later.”

At a quarter to seven Bellamy pulled into the lot of a pizza place on the other side of town that Wick had found, drunkenly, one-night last year. The place had pool, darts, cheap beer, and amazing pizza. As a result, it has become one of their automatic spots for guy's night.

Unsurprisingly, Bellamy was the first one there and he made his way up to the counter to get their pizza and a pitcher of some local ale that was on special. The waitress behind the counter smiled at him, Bree he thought her name was, clearly recognizing him from the few times they had been here before. Her smile was clearly flirtatious, and another time he probably would have gotten her number but these days he only has eyes for a spirited, gorgeous, slightly obnoxious blonde.

Just as the pizza came out he saw Murphy, Wick, and Miller come in and he waved them over. They were clearly in hot debate about something, probably football if he knew his friends, and he smiled at how glad he was that his two closest friends have become so close. To be honest, it was starting to feel like everything in his life was finally falling into place. He had an amazing set of friends, he was good at his job, he was nearly done with school which meant he could start working on becoming a professor at Ark Academy, and he was pretty sure he had found the woman of his dreams. This was everything he had ever wanted and some things he never even knew he needed.

“Well look who it is,” Miller said with a smirk as he walked up. “Bellamy Blake. The man, the myth, the legend. He's finally down from his post-coital cloud or bliss long enough for some brews with his buds.”

“If you don’t shut the fuck up I’m telling Jackson what your nickname was when we were ten,” Bellamy said, punching Miller in the arm.

“Oh, I have got to hear this story,” Wick said, flipping a chair and plopping into it before grabbing a still very hot piece of pizza before dropping it on his plate. Miller and Bellamy immediately laughed at him and he flipped them off.

The night went well. They drank multiple pitchers, Bellamy got his ass handed to him at darts by Murphy, and they managed to devour two entire extra-large double pepperoni pizzas by themselves. They were able to catch up about work and Wick’s latest convention. As the beer flowed they talked more and more confessions started to come out.

“So,” Miller says, “I’m going back to school next semester.”

“Yeah?” Bellamy says. “That’s awesome and unexpected. What are you going for?”

“No clue,” Miller replies, “but I can’t date someone as crazy-smart as Jackson and not at least try, ya know what I mean?”

“Finally owning up to it?” Wick teases.

“At least one of us has the guts to do something about how they feel,” Miller shoots back with a smirk. “What’s up with you and Raven anyways? She seems pretty chummy with that Shaw guy.” 

“Yeah,” Murphy said as he drained the last of his beer, “are we supposed to be beating him up or anything? It’s been a while since I got in a good fight and I think I could take him”

Wick laughed and clapped Murphy on the shoulder. “You’re a good friend but no. She and I were fun but we fizzled before we even started. She likes to pretend to be aloof and not give a fuck but the truth is she wants stability. I can’t give that to her.”

Bellamy frowned at his friend who seemed hurt. “I’m sorry dude,” he said, “that sucks. You’ve liked her forever.”

“It stings a bit,” Wick said, “but I’m alright. Really. We gave it a shot but it wasn’t right for either of us. Besides, I like Shaw. He’s a good guy and he’s good to her. I couldn’t ask for more than that. And it’s not like I’m alone. The beauty of conventions is I never have to be alone if I don’t want to be.”

Everyone laughed and downed the last of the pitcher. When Bellamy’s phone buzzed he took it out and saw a text from Clarke.

Clarke: Cut early from work early and heading to TonDC. Hope to see you there <3

Bellamy: I’ll see what I can do, Princess ;)

“Looks like someone is getting smitten with her highness,” Murphy said with a grin as he closed their tab.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bellamy said.

“So you’re going to try to tell me,” Miller said with a knowing smile, “that the stupid grin on your face all of a sudden has nothing to do with you finally getting your head out of your ass and bagging the girl and that said girl did not just text you to say she’s waiting for you at TonDC?”

Bellamy’s eyebrows shot into his hairline. “How could you possibly know that?”

Miller chuckled and flipped his phone. “Jasper’s rounding up the troops. What do you say, Blake? You ready to blow this joint and go see your girlfriend?”

“Not my girlfriend,” is all Bellamy managed and he tried to will away the blush he felt on his cheeks.

“Yet,” Wick teased and threw an arm around Bellamy. “The truth is I really am happy for you. You haven’t even really dated since Gina and that was ages ago.”

“Same here, man,” Miller said, throwing an arm around Bellamy too. “It’s about time you two figured your shit out. The rest of us were starting to get sick of it, to be honest.

“Shut up,” Bellamy said, shoving his friends off, “let’s just go.”

“You guys are sappy and gross,” Murphy said. “I hope I’m not expected to hug it out now because I don’t roll like that.”

Before he could even finish his sentence Wick had landed a wet sloppy kiss on Murphy’s cheek to the man's horror and Bellamy and Miller’s side-splitting laughter. When Murphy punched Wick in the side and pulled back Miller shoved everyone out the door before the old, Italian lady at the counter could throw them out. Again.

“TonDC it is then,” Miller said with a laugh and the guys head back toward the bar that has quickly become their bar.

Bellamy wouldn’t admit it out loud but he was really fucking excited to see Clarke again, and it had been less than twelve hours. He was so doomed.

The walk to the bar was freezing as fall seemed hell-bent on turning in to winter weeks early. It was good though. It helped him get his head on straight.

If he was being honest with himself he did want Clarke to be his girlfriend. It was hard to believe because he wasn’t really the relationship type but he wanted that with her. Being with her made him feel good, made him happy. She was smart and witty and challenging. She was, obviously, gorgeous and, if the night before was any indication, absolutely amazing in bed. The idea of being able to say she was only his and he was hers was a good one.

He just didn’t know if that’s what she wanted. Despite his diatribe last night and Clarke saying she wanted him there was no talk of feelings. He wasn’t sure he could handle it if she just wanted something casual because he didn’t really do that either, despite his boasting. He had tried that with a few girls after Gina but it just didn’t feel right. He didn’t want to do that anymore. Especially not with her.

He decided he was just going to have to talk to her.

When they walked into the bar everyone was already there but his eyes found Clarke first. She was casual but still sexy as hell in a pair of just tight enough black jeans, a strappy blood red top, and knee-high boots. Her wavy hair was tumbling down her back with a few strategic braids he had no doubt were courtesy of Octavia.

Watching her sway her hips to the music with her eyes closed brought back images of her last night. With her legs straddling him, hips moving in time with his, and eyes shut in pleasure, the image was one he was unlikely to ever forget.

In just a few strides he was across the bar with his arm around her waist. She turned in his arms and smiled at him. He leaned down and kissed her hard as she wound her hands into his hair.

Their friends' wolf whistles immediately followed but Bellamy didn’t care. Right now the most important thing was that she was in his arms. The smile and blush on Clarke’s face told him everything he needed to know. They could talk about what they were later.

For now, he simply leaned down and kissed her again, reveling in the simple fact that he could.

The rest of the night was similar to every night they had before. Pool, dancing, drinks. Yet everything felt different. More charged. Every glancing touch felt like a promise. Every look was full of longing, suddenly everything his friends had been saying about them made sense.

Yeah, it was still him and Clarke. She was still the girl that drove him mental, challenged everything he thought he knew and made him see things he had never thought he would. She was brilliant and funny and wonderful. She was sexy and interesting and unlike anything he had ever known before.

So yes, everything was the same, and yet, everything was different. He knew what it felt like to be inside her. He knew what her moans sounded like in his ear. Her taste was fresh on his lips and her screams were still ringing in his head. Now when they played pool he could come up behind her and wrap his hands around her hips. When they danced he could capture her lips with his as she ground down on his thigh. And as the night came to an end and they headed back to Arkadia he followed her past his door to her apartment and made her cum four times before they fell asleep with her fingers carding through his curls.

Everything was different and everything was the same. He didn’t know where this was going or what they were. All he knew was, no matter how hard they may try, nothing would ever be the same. The thought was as exciting as it was terrifying and he couldn’t wait to see what was next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at that, we are finally here! They did the do! I am so proud of them. And I'm sure that nothing will go wrong, right?
> 
> For those that are curious, there is a playlist that goes with this fic.
> 
> If you don't mind some light spoilers (more like hints) each song is the title of a chapter. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).


	15. Live Like We're Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the very long delay. I won't clog it up with why but there will be more notes at the end. For now, just enjoy this extra long chapter.
> 
> For those that are curious, there is a playlist that goes with this fic.
> 
> If you don't mind some light spoilers (more like hints) each song is the title of a chapter. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).

  


Waking up next to Bellamy was easily Clarke’s new favorite thing in the world. With his messy curls sticking out in every direction and lips slightly parted, he looked equal parts adorable and gorgeous. His deep olive skin on her white, satin pillowcase made her heart stutter a bit each time she looked at him.

It had been just over two weeks since she first brought Bellamy home with her and they had both been so insanely busy that it felt as if no time had passed at all. Kane had him working nearly every day at different holiday functions in the city or acting as security for some dignitary or other who was in town for an event. Despite being exhausted when he got off, almost every night he came right up to her place and she spent at least an hour working out the kinks in his shoulders and neck before letting him work out his frustrations into her body until they both passed out.

For her part, she’d been swamped, too. The Polis Holiday Gala was just over a week away and she had been confirming vendors, scheduling cleanings and minor restorations of the display pieces, doing final taste tests of the food, and running interference between Lincoln and any disgruntled customers so he could focus on getting the art for the auction ready. It was their biggest fundraising event of the year so it had to go well. On top of that, she had been helping Octavia get ready for winter finals, Maya apply for grants for her master's program, and still trying to find time to see all the rest of her friends.

Needless to say, she and Bellamy hadn’t had a ton of time to do anything more than just fall into each other’s arms at the end of the night. They certainly hadn’t had time to really talk.

That’s why these mornings were her favorite part of each day. Seeing him soft and slowed down, not stressed about work or money or if Clarke was eating properly (something he was determined to fix, apparently), made all of the crazy days worth it. She knew that soon things would calm down. When they did they could finally talk about all of this. She was willing to be patient. They had plenty of time.

One morning she slid onto his lap slowly, finding him already hard for her, and she had to bite down on a moan as she slid him inside her. It didn’t take long for his eyes to flutter open and his hands to find her hips to help guide her rhythm. She kissed him deeply as she rode him, pulling back and letting her pleasure build up slowly as his eyes roamed over her body with a lazy, satisfied smile on his face. Watching him look at her made her feel sexy and powerful. He always took the time to make sure she felt good, even if it was usually quick in the morning.

Today was no exception. She knew the real world was waiting for them once they got out of this bed. But right now, at least for a few minutes, the only thing that existed was the two of them.

She cried out his name as she came all over him and he bucked up into her a few times before spilling himself as well. They didn’t always come together but when they did it made her almost want to let herself say certain things she knew they weren’t ready for yet. But maybe someday and maybe soon.

“Good morning, gorgeous,” Bellamy said as she laid back down with her head on his chest listening to his heartbeat slowly come back down.

“Mmm,” Clarke said instead of words, trailing her hands up and down his torso watching the goosebumps erupt under her touch. She felt him reach over to the nightstand for his phone and then he sighed.

“As much as I want to stay under you all day,” he said into her hair, “I do have to start getting up. I still need to go downstairs and shower and change.”

“I don’t know why you don’t just bring a change of clothes when you come over,” Clarke responded, turning over and resting her chin on his stomach. “I mean, it’s not like you aren’t going to stay. Why kid yourself? Plus, that way we could shower together and save water. It’s better for the planet, you know?”

“Such an environmentalist,” Bellamy laughed and the sound reverberated through her. It was low and warm and wrapped itself around her heart. “Wonderful as that may be, I don’t need to be late again. Marcus will only buy the flat tire excuse once.”

Clarke pouted but rolled onto her back. “Fine,” she said with a dramatic sigh. “I guess your logic makes sense. I just miss you when you’re gone.”

Bellamy rolled himself over her and it took every ounce of her willpower to not wrap her legs around his waist and demand he stay. “Believe me, Princess, I miss you even more. Why do you think I keep coming back every night?”

“I assumed it was my tits,” Clarke replied with as close to a straight face as she could muster while trying not to laugh.

“Well,” Bellamy said, tracing his tongue around one of her nipples and then doing the same to the other. She dug her nails into the bed at the sensation. “I won’t lie. They are certainly a perk.”

Clarke laughed at the smirk on his face and shoved his side when he tickled her. “Get out of here, Jerk. And tell Murphy I said hi.”

“You two becoming friends is probably the weirdest part about all of this to me.”

“Yeah, well, he’s a loveable asshole. It just takes a while to see it. I’ll see you tonight?”

“I hope so,” Bellamy said with a weary smile. “It’s still up in the air if Echo is coming on this trip. If she does I’ll likely be out late but if not I could be back around eight.”

“Well then I’ll send good vibes out into the universe that she stayed home,” Clarke said, giving him one last lingering kiss before he could leave. “Bye, Bell.”

“Bye, Princess,” he said looking back one last time before closing her bedroom door.

She listened to his steady footfalls and the click of her front door. He always locked her door handle on his way out so she didn’t have to get up. She wasn't ready to admit it to him but she was seriously considering just getting him a key.

It was too soon for that though, wasn't it? They hadn’t even defined what this was yet. Though Clarke was fairly certain they didn’t need to. She knew how she felt and Bellamy had made it pretty clear he had eyes only for her. So maybe they didn’t need to be Facebook official right away or start saying boyfriend and girlfriend to everyone. It wasn’t high school after all. They knew where they stood.In her head he was hers and she was his. That’s all that really mattered.

She was falling for him and helpless to stop it.

After he left, she heated up some leftovers from the lasagna they had made together a few nights ago and set to work on her picture of Bellamy. She had been working on it whenever she had the time that he wasn’t occupying. It was a watercolor and charcoal version of the sketch she had started the first day they had hung out. Before they were even really friends. She drew him on the swings, his energy lighting up the world around him as he swung himself through a sky of stars. He was infinite, just like the sky she painted around him. If she could, she hoped to finish it by Christmas and have it framed as his present. She hoped he would like it.

When she finally dragged herself into the gallery for her shift that afternoon she was surprised to find everyone there including Lincoln and Maya. Lately, it had just been her manning the front as everyone else did other things to get ready for their big night.

“What is everyone doing here?” Clarke asked Maya under her breath when she got to the counter.

“Dante is coming by today,” Maya said, “and since he hasn’t been here in a while Lincoln wants to make sure everything goes smoothly.”

“Ah,” Clarke said and nodded, “the elusive Gallery owner makes his appearance. Well, I don’t know why Lincoln’s freaking out. He runs this place perfectly.”

“Yeah,” a girl named Fox said. She ran the gift shop and always seemed sweet if a little shy. “But Dante can be a bit harsh and unforgiving. He has his idea of how things should be, even if they are impractical, and nothing else will really do.”

“At least it’s not Cage,” Maya said. “That guy is so slimy. He makes my skin crawl every time he’s here. But being the owner’s son means he gets to do whatever he wants. Luckily he doesn’t come by often but I know he’ll be at the Christmas party.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Clarke said. “Thanks for the warning.”

“Good afternoon, everyone,” an older man said as he came in through the front doors, “and a very, merry, early Christmas.”

Fox mouthed Dante to Clarke and she smiled and nodded.

“It’s good to see you again, sir,” Lincoln said, shaking his hand and introducing everyone in the gallery to Dante again. Clarke found she was nervous for some reason when they finally got to her. “This is Clarke. She’s the one I’ve been telling you about. Amazing eye for art; has been in total control of the Gala, and a pretty good artist herself. Polis has been in good hands with her.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you, Clarke,” Dante said, looking at her with an unsettlingly analytical eye. “Come, walk with me and tell me about the plans you’ve made for my party.”

Despite his intimidating presence, Dante seemed sincere in his complimenting of her plans as they discussed everything she had put through for the event. They also talked about her ambitions to become a curator someday and her art as well. She was surprised by how easy it was to talk to him. It was true that there was something slightly terrifying about the man and she was sure, in the right circumstances, he wouldn’t blink before ruining someone’s career if it benefited him. But, she was confident that, as long as she stayed on his good side, he would help her achieve everything she dreamed of.

“The next time I’m here after the party I would love to see some of your work,” he told her. “If it’s good enough maybe we could even feature some of it as a special guest exhibit. It would make Polis look good and be great exposure for you as well.”

“I would love that, Mr. Wallace,” Clarke said earnestly.

“Just call me Dante,” he said with a kind smile. “So, who are you bringing to the big event. Boyfriend? Girlfriend? I assume the lack of ring means you aren’t married.”

“Oh,” Clarke said, eyes widening a bit, “I didn’t plan to bring anyone. Why, should I be?”

“Of course, Clarke! After all, it is a party.”

“Well then,” she said trying to fight the flush from creeping onto her face, “I guess I’ll bring my- my boyfriend.”

She knew her face was probably beet red and it wasn’t like she knew that was what they were. But she didn’t think the man who basically controlled her future needed to know that. Besides, if she had her way she would make sure that was exactly what Bellamy was to her. She had to bite her cheek to stop from smiling like an idiot.

“Well,” Dante said, “I look forward to meeting this young man.”

Not long later, Dante left with the promise of being back the day before the Gala to help with final preparations. The rest of her day seemed to drag by. Lincoln had her recheck the plans for everything and confirm the timeline of events twice. When she got back to Arkadia she saw the lights in Bellamy’s apartment shining through his balcony and smiled. All the exhaustion of the day was still there but she couldn’t wait to get upstairs and snuggle into his side.

She took the steps as quickly as she could and rapped on his door. When he opened it he wrapped her in his arms and kissed her slow.

“Gross, you two” Octavia said from her place on the couch. “Either get a room or come in here and watch Star Wars with us. Oh, and grab the popcorn and chocolate chips. They should be good and melty by now.”

Clarke smiled against Bellamy’s lips and nodded a bit before giving him one last kiss. She grabbed the popcorn on the way to the couch and settled in the space on the far right she now thought of as hers.

“Which one are we watching?” Clarke asked.

“We’re working through them all chronologically based on where they fall in the storyline as opposed to their theatrical release date,” Octavia said through a mouth of popcorn and chocolate, making Bellamy gag and Clarke roll her eyes. Octavia stuck a tongue out at her brother after she swallowed. “We just finished episode three so that makes it Rogue One.”

“She likes to pretend Solo never happened,” Bellamy said in a stage whisper, rolling his eyes. Octavia smacked him and hit play.

“Sounds good to me,” Clarke said as she settled into Bellamy’s side and watched the movie.

As his fingers trailed lazy patterns on her arm she felt herself slowly begin to fall asleep. All she knew was one moment she was listening to a snarky robot and the next she was being carried through the darkness and settled into his bed. Even with her eyes closed she knew it was his because of the feel of his well-worn flannel sheets and the scent of pine and lemon and peppermint that was just so unmistakably Bellamy. It made her feel like she was home.

“Come to bed,” Clarke grumbled when he didn’t immediately lie down with her.

Bellamy laughed and pressed a kiss to her hair. “In a minute, Princess. I just need to brush my teeth.”

“Ok,” she mumbled into the pillow, “but hurry back.”

She was hardly conscious when he finally slipped under the covers with her. Instinctively, she curled herself around him, tangling their legs together.

“Bell,” she said, before sleep pulled her down, “I sometimes wish I could just get lost forever with you.”

Bellamy kissed her hair and pulled her tighter to him. “Maybe someday we will. Get some sleep. I’ll be here in the morning.

“Sweet dreams,” Clarke said, and then she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep, the sound of his heartbeat steady in her ear.

In the morning, Clarke woke to an empty bed with a note on Bellamy’s pillow. She smiled when she saw what he wrote.

Clarke,

You looked so peaceful sleeping that I couldn't make myself wake you. I had to be out the door at 6:45 to escort Echo and her family from the airport. Kane just told me this morning that she was coming. I don’t think I will be home early enough to see you tonight at TonDC but I hope you’ll be awake to let me in later so I can give you a proper kiss. For now, I will have to settle for kissing your forehead and being patient until tonight.

Octavia should be home all day today so when you get up she will be there. There is coffee keeping warm for you in the kitchen. Missing you already, Princess. See you tonight.

Yours,  
Bellamy

Clarke didn’t even try to fight the huge grin splitting her face as she flopped back on the pillow. Though she would have loved to have kissed him goodbye she couldn’t help being enamored by how cute he was leaving her a note. She was truly crazy about this silly, romantic, nerd of a man. She just couldn’t believe she had really gotten this lucky.

A while later she pulled on one of his insanely soft henley’s over her pj’s and dragged herself to the kitchen. As promised, the coffee pot was full and still hot. She smiled again when she opened the fridge and saw he had stocked her favorite Christmas creamer, peppermint mocha of course. When she closed the fridge, Octavia was leaning against the doorframe with a classic Blake smirk on her face.

“Keeping your favorite creamer around even though he says it will give you diabetes,” Octavia said. “My my, Bell really does have it bad for you. Then again, the stupid grin on your face says you aren’t far behind.”

Clarke smiled into her coffee cup and shrugged, although she couldn’t have stopped the smile if she tried.

“Oh no, Griffin,” Octavia said, pouring herself a cup of coffee before plopping down at the kitchen table across from her friend, “none of that with me. What’s the deal with you two?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Clarke said, stirring her coffee, absently, “I mean, we haven’t really talked about it or defined anything. I know there are feelings there. And tons of chemistry. But with everything that’s been going on lately we just haven’t made time to sit down and have the ‘what are we’ conversation yet.”

“Don’t you think you should though?” Octavia said. “I mean, it’s not like I think he’s with other girls on the side or anything. That’s just not Bellamy. But I feel like not at least talking about it can mean you are on very different wavelengths, you know?”

“Yeah,” Clarke replied, “I know you’re right. It’s just been so good lately. We’ve always had the bad habit of backsliding whenever one of us shakes things up. I just don’t want to lose what we’ve finally gotten to. I don’t want to lose him.”

Octavia’s eyes softened and she put a hand on top of Clarke’s. “Oh, honey, no. My brother is crazy about you. You won’t lose him. The only way you’ll lose him is if you push him away. He has wanted this, wanted you, for months. He’s not about to give you up just because you talk about feelings. I know you both kind of suck at that but I think it would just bring you closer.”

Clarke let out a shaky breath and nodded. “Ok. I promise I’ll talk to him. We are supposed to be going out tomorrow night to that new bistro that opened up in the square. I’ll talk to him then. I want him to know where I stand.”

“Good,” Octavia nodded and smiled. “For the record, I’m really happy you two are together. You’re good for each other. It won’t be too long before I’m the maid of honor.”

Clarke felt the heat immediately rush to her face at her friend's words. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Clarke said. “He isn’t even my boyfriend yet. Not officially.”

“Whatever,” Octavia said, starting to make her way out of the room, “but I look forward to saying I told you so.”

“If you say so,” Clarke said with a laugh and followed her friend to the living room. “Now, are we binging Queer Eye or what?”

“Absolutely!”

For the rest of the day, the girls hung out and watched TV. Around midday, Raven showed up as well with three boxes of pizza and two packs of soda.

“The shop is about to get insanely busy since we are down to a skeleton crew for the holidays,” Raven explained. “Sinclair is going upstate to see his family, Wick leaving for his annual Cancun trip that lasts through the first of the year, and that basically just leaves four of us during what I call prime accident season. To make it up to us Sinclair always gives us a mini holiday party the Friday before he leaves and then closes up for the weekend. These are the leftovers so enjoy!”

“So wait,” Clare says, “does that mean you’re off for the entire weekend?”

“Yep!”

“And O,” Clarke said, “you finished finals on Thursday, right? So you don’t have to study or anything?”

“No,” she said, “and I don’t have work until next Wednesday. Why do you ask?”

“Because, well, I don’t have the entire weekend off but I do have today and tomorrow. We should go out! Things are about to get crazy for me and Raven. We could use some friend time.”

“I’m so in,” Raven said.

“Same,” Octavia said, beaming. “Obviously. TonDC.”

Clarke laughed, “Obviously.”

“Ok,” Octavia said, “but after we finish the show. We only have three episodes left and tons of pizza.”

“Deal,” Clarke said.

So the girls settled into the couch and ate way too much pizza and critiqued every fashion choice Tan made and drooling over everything Antoni cooked. And maybe a drooled a bit over Antoni himself if they were being honest. When they finished the show and put the rest of the pizza in the fridge they got ready.

It was just a mellow night out so they didn’t go all out. Just a quick change into some real clothes for Octavia and Clarke as well as a quick makeup refresh and they were ready to go.

Despite her awesome day with her friends, something about the evening felt off for Clarke. She couldn’t have named it if she tried but her intuition told her something was wrong. When they got to the bar she mentioned as much to Harper who was just getting off her shift.

“You do seem to have low key psychic abilities,” Harper said. “It’s actually always been a little spooky. You always know who’s calling, you had that nightmare the night before my dad died, and you always seem to be able to just sense when something’s coming. Maybe I should have you pick my next lottery cards.”

Clarke laughed slightly and sipped at the beer Harper gave her. “I don’t know,” she said, “maybe it’s just paranoia. Or even just indigestion from all the pizza and soda today. It’s just- I know it sounds crazy but I can’t shake the feeling that something bad is about to happen.”

“Or maybe you just miss my brother,” Octavia said, joining the conversation.

“She’s got a point,” Raven said. “You two have been attached at the hip since you finally nailed him- stop gagging Octavia, this isn’t news. Anyways, maybe it’s just, like, some kind of withdrawal.”

“I’m not that pathetic that I can’t go without Bellamy for a day without falling apart,” Clarke said. “It’s fine though. The feeling will pass and it will be like it never happened. Let’s take shots!”

“Yeah!” all three of her friends said in unison as Jasper came over and filled their glasses.

“Anything for my second favorite ladies,” Jasper said. Raven punched him in the arm and they all laughed.

For the most part, Clarke was able to brush off the strange feeling and have fun. They all danced and sang to the bad eighty’s songs the DJ that night was spinning, she paced herself drinking so that she always had a pleasant buzz without getting trashed, and when someone ordered wings and mozzarella sticks she made herself feel a little better about her terrible food choices by also getting a salad. They played pool and darts, and a few of their other friends filtered in through the night.

When she sent a snap to Bellamy with Murphy he replied back with the crying emoji and complained that he wished he was there before Octavia stole her phone and told her she could be mushy later. Clarke laughed but took a selfie with Octavia and Raven for her Insta story before pocketing the phone with promises of no more Bellamy tonight. She was here to hang out with her girls and so she did. The next few hours blew past and she stayed true to her promise. All in all, it was a great night.

She should have seen it coming, really. After all, everything good must come to an end.

It was just a bit past ten when the doors to the bar opened again. Clarke was busy lining up her pool cue the eight ball and didn’t look up. She was on a three game win streak and just about to beat Murphy. She had just sunk the hit and heard Murphy groan when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Hey, Clarke,” said the last person she expected to see ever again, much less at her little dive bar far away from everything she thought she had left behind.

“Lexa?”

“Sorry to show up like this,” her ex-girlfriend said casually as if she hadn’t once stomped her heart out and disappeared. “I’m sure you have a lot of questions and I have a lot I need to say. If you’ll let me. Can we go somewhere to talk?”

Clarke just stared for a moment before nodding and leading her to a more empty corner of the bar away from the speakers.

To say she was in shock was an understatement. It had been nearly three years ago when Lexa had left her, literally. Clarke had made the mistake of telling the other girl she loved her one morning when they had been lying in bed together. Lexa had told her over and over again that she didn’t do serious and she didn’t do love. Clarke had pretended to be ok with it but the truth was she had given her heart to this girl.

She just never meant to admit it.

The morning it slipped out, Lexa had frozen. Clarke tried to backtrack but it was too late. A week later she found a letter slid under her door telling Clarke she was leaving to travel the world and wouldn’t be coming back. She told Clarke that love was weakness and if she really wanted to make her dreams come true she would have to realize that. That she admired Clarke and it had been fun but that it was over.

Clarke spent the next three days in her bed refusing to open the door for anyone. Eventually, Wells and Harper convinced her to let them in. They helped her get cleaned up, forced her to eat the bagels they brought from her favorite spot in the city, and eventually, she started to function again. But she did so by doing what she did best: compartmentalizing and shutting down her pain.

It was months before she actually began to feel again. And it wasn’t until Bellamy that she finally let someone back in.

“What the hell are you doing here,” Clarke demanded, crossing her arms tightly across her chest.

‘I deserve that,” Lexa said, looking at Clarke with eyes that burned with sadness and intensity.

Lexa had always been a fire to Clarke’s ice. She burned hot and fast and consumed everything in her way. It was clear that hadn’t changed. However, there was a softness there now and trepidation Clarke had never seen before. Somehow it made her more human. Clarke loosened a bit.

“I have a lot to explain and make up for,” Lexa said. “I do know that. I abandoned you at the worst time. Your dad had just died, you were in the middle of trying to find yourself as an independent woman without the help of your parents, and I just left. You told me you loved me and I left.”

“I don’t really need the play by play,” Clarke said, “I remember it all quite vividly.”

“Of course you do,” Lexa said, fiddling with a long necklace draped around her neck. “The point is, I wanted to say I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t make up for the time lost or the things I did but I still thought you deserved to hear it.”

“Why-” Clarke started before Lexa cut her off.

“Let me finish,” she said, a look of desperation in her eyes. “Please?”

Clarke paused a moment and studied the other girl before answering. She seemed different. Less sure of herself and less cold. Clarke had always known how soft and kind Lexa could be but it seemed that maybe, now, Lexa knew too. Clarke didn’t owe her anything but maybe this could be good. It didn’t do anyone any good to hold on to grudges for things that happened years ago. With that thought and a deep breath, she nodded, urging Lexa to go on.

“I know when we were together I kept a lot from you. I wasn’t really good at opening up or letting my walls down. Before I met you there was a girl I loved named Costia. Our parents didn’t approve but I didn’t care. So we ran away together when we both were eighteen. It wasn’t long before her parents found us. They took her away from me and she just went with them saying she couldn’t lose her family. It broke me.”

Clarke was surprised by the pain she saw in Lexa’s eyes. She had never heard this story before. She put her hand over the other girls in a sign of support.

“When I met you in college you were a force to be reckoned with. Passion and logic rolled up into one feisty, ambitious package. I wasn’t ready, I should have told you that, but you were irresistible. What we had was incredible but I kept trying to push you away or break it off before I could start to love you. I couldn’t go through that again, especially when I realized how much your mother hated us being together. When you told me you loved me I panicked and ran.”

“I had already applied for that internship in Greece before we even got together and when I got the acceptance letter it seemed like the perfect out. So I left, like a coward, without even talking to you. Without even explaining.”

“Lexa,” Clarke said. “I understand. It’s ok.”

“No!” Lexa said, tears welling up in her eyes. “Please don’t say it’s ok because it’s not. You deserved so much better than what I did to you. But I’ve done a lot of soul searching since then and I’m not that person anymore. Love isn’t weakness, Clarke. It’s what makes you strong and brave. You’ve always been that. I’m sorry it took me traipsing across the world to figure that out.”

Clarke gripped her hands tighter and Lexa looked at her with pleading eyes. “You’re right,” Clarke said, carefully. “What you didn’t wasn’t ok. You broke my heart and I didn’t know if I would ever recover from that. But I did. My friends helped me through it and I grew and changed too. For better or worse I learned a lot from you. For what it’s worth, I do forgive you.”

“Really?” Lexa said, taken aback.

“Really. Holding on to grudges never helped anyone. Besides, I’m really happy right now. What we went through helped shape me into who I am now. So even though it wasn’t ok then we can be ok now.”

Lexa smiled with a brightness Clarke had never seen on the girl before and she was glad she could ease some of the burden of guilt she had clearly been carrying since their split. They may not have been fated to end up together but that didn’t mean they couldn’t be friends.

“Oh, Clarke,” Lexa said, pulling her into a tight embrace which Clarke happily returned, “I’m so glad to hear that.”

Before Clarke knew what was happening, Lexa’s lips were on hers and Clarke froze. Her brain took a moment to catch back up with what was happening and stop her. But before she could push the other girl off she heard a scoff coming from behind her and Clarke’s stomach dropped and she knew.

When she turned around, Bellamy was standing a few feet away with fire in his eyes and Clarke felt like she could throw up. She could tell Lexa was saying something and she thought she saw Octavia coming up to her with Raven but all she could see was him. For a moment neither of them moved and then his face fell. He simply shook his head and walked out of the bar letting the door slam behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I'm so sorry I left you hanging for so long. I am sure many of you know why. After what has been happening I just couldn't stomach posting so I took a little break to clear my head and let the reality of what has been happening settle in. I am devastated beyond belief but I won't let that stop me. I love this story, this fandom, and these characters.
> 
> I can promise you, whatever angst is coming will not be too long and will end happily. Unlike some people, I want these characters to have the best possible outcome. They will get their happily ever after.
> 
> If anyone needs to talk, I'm here. Come [find me on tumblr ](https://slyth-princess.tumblr.com/)and we can scream about how much we hate Jroth together. I love you all so much. Thanks for reading.


	16. The Scientist

  


Bellamy couldn’t help but smile when he saw the silly snap Clarke sent of her and Murphy making stupid faces at the camera. As envious as he was of all his friends for being together and having fun he was able to ease the feeling knowing he would be ending the night with her in his arms. After taking a screenshot of the image and sending a series of emoji’s he tucked the phone back into his jack and sighed. He was surprised when he looked up and saw Echo studying him.

“I’m assuming that was the girlfriend,” Echo said with a cocked eyebrow and a small smirk.

Bellamy bristled a bit but took a steadying breath. After all, she wasn’t doing anything wrong by asking. And, realistically, it wasn’t her fault he would rather be with Clarke playing pool and taking shots than playing bodyguard while she was ignored by the dignitaries at the ball her parents made her go to.

“Something like that,” Bellamy replied.

Surprisingly, Echo smiled at him at the admission. “Tell me about her?”

Bellamy tilted his head in confusion. Normally they didn’t talk much while she was in his charge. “Why?”

“Indulge me,” she said. “We’ve been working together for the better part of two years and we barely know each other. I know you don’t particularly care for me and I don’t really care. But I suspect I’m going to be stateside more often next year as my father has been discussing the possibility of me becoming the local ambassador and that means we will be in each other’s company much more often. Besides, I’m bored out of my mind and the closest person in age to me at this little gathering aside from you is likely fifteen years my senior. So, tell me about your girlfriend.”

Bellamy considered her for a moment but then nodded. “Her name is Clarke,” he started with a smile stealing across his face at the thought of her. “She moved into my building a few months ago. We didn't exactly get along at first but she became friends with my sister so it wasn’t like I could really avoid her.”

“Sounds like a healthy start.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes. “Do you want to hear more or not?”

Echo laughed and then motioned that she was zipping her lips. “I’m done, please continue.”

“As I was saying, she was around a lot and quickly became a part of the friend group. We also just kept running into each other all over town. One day, I still don’t really know why, she asked me to go on a walk with her. It was nice. Really nice. She was so much easier to talk to when we weren’t at each other’s throats. She also wasn’t afraid to ask deep questions. I told her things that day I hadn’t told anyone yet. Still haven’t really.

“After that, we started spending more time together. We texted all the time, one of us was almost always at each other’s place, and she quickly became my best friend. I don’t think I realized I had fallen for her until it had already happened. But the two of us are nothing if not stubborn. I think it was about Halloween when I knew for sure how I felt. But it took another month before either of us did anything about it. In the end, it was Clarke who finally stepped up and kissed me. That was a few weeks ago. Things have been good since then. She makes me happy.”

“Well,” Echo said, “that explains a lot.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I was here in October you were grumpy as hell, snapping at Murphy and more annoyed with me than usual. But now you seem so different. Settled, I guess.”

“I guess I am,” Bellamy said. “I’ve never felt like this before.”

“So what’s she like?” Echo said, sipping her champagne and seeming like she was actually curious.

“She’s feisty and smart. She could put anyone in their place without blinking. But she's also kind and loving and loyal. Not that she would ever admit it but she’s got a huge heart. I judged her unfairly when we first met because she had money and came from a privileged background but that’s not who she is. She loves art and music and reading. Her paintings and drawings are incredible. I think she might even have some up in the gallery downtown soon.”

“You really are crazy about this girl, aren’t you?” Echo said, smiling at him.

Bellamy laughed and felt himself blushing as he scrubbed at the back of his neck nervously. “Yeah,” he admitted, “I really am. She’s the last thing I expected but I am pretty sure she’s it for me. It’s only been a few weeks and she isn’t even officially my girlfriend yet but she makes it so easy. Yeah. I’m crazy about her.”

“Well then,” Echo says, putting her empty glass on a passing tray, “I think that’s my cue.”

“What do you mean?”

“The night is winding down, I don’t have any plans after this that can’t be rescheduled, and you have more pressing places to be. So if you would kindly escort me back to my room then I will retire for the night and you, Mr. Blake, can go get the girl.”

“Really?” Bellamy said, surprised. This woman who had been a thorn in his side since they met was giving him an out so he could go see Clarke.

“Call it my Christmas present to you,” Echo said as they started for the elevator that would take them to their vehicle.

The ride back to her hotel was short and she spent most of it talking to someone named Hope on her phone, ignoring Bellamy completely. He considered texting Clarke to tell her he was on his way but he knew they were still at the bar and he decided he wanted to see her face when he surprised her. When they made it to her room he did his normal sweep to make sure it was clear before she came in. As he was leaving he turned to her. He had to know.

“I’ve gotta ask,” he said, “why are you doing this. I mean, you’ve never really seemed to like me very much and I know you have plenty of places in the city you could go party tonight. So what’s changed?”

Echo looked at him for a long moment before sighing. “I will admit,” she said, pouring herself a drink and offering him one which he declined, “I have likely not been very fair to you, Bellamy. I never wanted to come here. It always felt like my family was punishing me somehow, sending me to America. But none of that is on you and I’m sorry. You seem like a nice enough guy. Like I told you before, we are probably going to have to spend a lot more time together soon. I would like you to become my official bodyguard. 

“You have always been more patient and kind than I likely deserved, and for that, I must thank you. That’s why I want it to be you. You dealt with me through my rebellious stage. But my mother is right, I’m not a child anymore. So it’s time for me to do my part, grow up, and represent my family here in the US.”

“So you’re doing this, helping me, to get me in your good graces so I will be your personal bodyguard once that happens?” Bellamy said with a smirk.

“Something like that,” Echo smirked back. “Besides, who doesn’t like a good romance at Christmas?”

And with that, Bellamy left to go get the girl, as Echo had said.

It wasn’t too long of a drive from the hotel to the bar but Bellamy was antsy. Somewhere between the Hilton where he left Echo and the highway that would lead him to Clarke he decided he was going to tell her.

When he opened the door of TonDC his entire world came crashing down around him. It only took a moment to find Clarke, her blonde hair glowing like an angel while her mouth was attached to some other girl.

Bellamy scoffed loudly and her eyes snapped up to his and there it was. Shock, fear, sadness. And he just couldn’t anymore so he turned around and walked out, slamming the door in the process.

Bellamy realized, at that moment, he had never felt his heart break before. Not really. When his dad left all he felt was anger. When his mom died it had been a cold numbness and then the resignation that he had to raise his sister. When his relationship with Gina failed it was drama-free and they parted friends. No, it was this moment, of knowing what it meant to let someone in enough to want to let them through your walls and then have them destroy you from the inside once they were in there.

So he left.

He was vaguely aware of Clarke calling his name behind him but he didn’t stop. He knew what it would be. After all, everyone always says the same things when they fuck up. It’s not what you think. It didn’t mean anything. I didn’t think we were exclusive. Even if all those things were true it didn’t change anything. He had given his heart to this girl and she hadn’t done the same. He thought they were in the same place, that their feelings were the same. Clearly, he had been wrong.

When she finally caught up to him she grabbed his arm and spun him around. There were tears in her eyes.

“Bellamy-” she started but he cut her off.

“No,” he said, “we aren’t doing this.”

“Please,” she begged, not letting go of him, “let me explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain, Princess,” he spit the nickname like it was poison on his lips and yanked his arm back.

“Bellamy, please!” Clarke’s voice broke and the tears began to spill from her eyes.

Her voice broke his heart even more but he couldn’t forgive her for this. Not when he finally realized- well, it didn’t matter now what he had realized. They were done.

“No,” he repeated and shook his head, turning to leave again. With his back to her, he said one last thing. “Goodbye, Clarke.”

He didn’t really know where he was going until he was at Wick’s door. He knew his friend was leaving on Monday but hoped he would still be up. After three knocks the door swung open to a surprised look on his friend's face.

“I thought you would be my Thai food,” he said before pausing at studying Bellamy’s face. “You better come in.”

The two went out on the patio and Bellamy couldn’t help letting out a desperate-sounding laugh at the irony. It wasn’t that long ago they were on Bellamy’s patio and he was lamenting about how much he hated the princess upstairs. And now he was here, hand shaking as he failed to light a cigarette, on another patio about the same princess. Only this time, everything had changed.

Finally, Bellamy broke. Wick was a good enough friend to not say anything as Bellamy cried himself out.

The truth was, the tears weren’t all about her. It was like a dam had broken inside him and all the hurt and pain and betrayal he had been facing his whole life hit him at once. He cried for the man he was forced to become before he was even eight years old when his dad walked out on his mom two years after having Octavia. He cried for the youth he lost when his mom died and he became the sole guardian of Octavia. He cried for the love he never let himself feel with Gina or Roma or Bree or any of the girls who had tried to love him because he was too fucked up to let them. And finally, he cried for letting himself finally fall for someone who didn’t feel the same.

After a while, he finally calmed down and the tears dried up. Still, Wick didn't say anything. Just pushed a glass of whiskey in his hand and settled into a chair to watch the sun come up. Bellamy was grateful for the silence. He didn’t think he could say what had happened, not right away.

As the sky began to brighten and the cigarettes nearly ran out Bellamy sighed and ran a hand over his face. He finally began to talk.

“I got out of work early tonight,” he began. “Echo was apparently feeling the holiday spirit because she wanted to hear about Clarke. When I told her that we hadn’t even made things official she told me to go get the girl. So that’s what I tried to do.

“I knew she was at TonDC. When she sent me those snaps I missed her so I decided to surprise her. Thought it would be cute or some shit. Turns out I was the one who got surprised when I walked in and she’s kissing another girl.”

“Seriously?” Wick said, sounding shocked. Bellamy could relate.

“Yep,” he said. “Some hot brunette in a leather jacket was all over her. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I mean, it’s not like we had actually defined anything. Miller even warned me that I needed to lock it down and I didn’t. I fucked up thinking I meant the same to her as she did to me. She didn’t owe me anything. It’s just-”

Bellamy’s voice broke again and he couldn’t say it. He scrubbed at the tears trying to form in his eyes and took a steadying breath.

“I’m in love with her.”

Wick put a hand on his shoulder and sighed. “I know you are,” he said. “So what are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know,” Bellamy said before downing the last of the whiskey and didn’t even feel guilty. He could always buy his friend a new one.

“Here’s what I think,” Wick started, “and I know you didn’t ask for my advice but you showed up to my house at two in the morning, drank all my whiskey, and cried it out. If you didn’t want advice you should have gone to someone else. You love this girl and if you ask me she loves you too. I don’t know what happened tonight but, the truth is, neither do you. You’re welcome to crash here for the day and mope but then you need to get off your ass and go talk to her. At least give her the chance to explain. And if you decide that the explanation isn’t good enough then you pick yourself up and move on.”

“I’m not sure it’s that easy,” Bellamy said.

“Look,” Wick sighed turning Bellamy to face him, “I know I don’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to love. But that doesn’t mean I don’t know it when I see it. What you and Clarke have is the real deal. You owe it to yourself to at least try.”

“I’m not sure it’s that simple,” Bellamy said. “I mean, I know you’re right. I need to talk to her. If nothing else, I need to hear the truth from her lips. If she doesn’t want me I need her to tell me, otherwise, it’s just going to eat at me. It’s not like she’s going to be out of my life since she’s my sister’s best friend. I need to know the truth.”

“So what are you going to say?”

Bellamy laughed. “I have no idea,” he said, “but I do know I can’t deal with it now. Now I need sleep followed by bagels.”

Wick laughed and clapped him on the back. “Extra bed is yours, buddy.”

With that, Wick trudged off to his room and closed the door. Bellamy waited a bit and watched as the world got brighter and thought about everything that had happened.

He truly hoped there was an explanation for what he had seen tonight but he wouldn’t let himself get his hopes up. But if there wasn’t one would he be able to forgive her? He wasn’t sure. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to. Now that he knew the depths of his feelings the idea of not being with her was nearly unbearable. But the idea of it being nothing but sex to her was worse.

He realized he wasn’t going to get the answers now after being up for nearly twenty-four hours. He could solve this problem when he woke up. He dragged himself to bed and fell into a fitful sleep where all he could see was her eyes, pleading with him to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just... I'm sorry. I hope you aren't too mad at me! If only they would just take a breath and talk...
> 
> For those that are curious, there is a playlist that goes with this fic.
> 
> If you don't mind some light spoilers (more like hints) each song is the title of a chapter. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).


	17. Moondust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be putting a longer note at the end but I just wanted to say to everyone, be well be kind. We will get through this together.
> 
> For those that are curious, there is a playlist that goes with this fic.
> 
> If you don't mind some light spoilers (more like hints) each song is the title of a chapter. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).

  


When he slammed the door on his way out of the bar it was like a trance was lifted and all the sounds around her crashed back down around Clarke’s ears. Everything was too much, too loud, and none of it mattered. None of it mattered but him.

With a singular focus, she pushed through the few people remaining between her and the door, ignoring her friends coming up to her or the woman behind her she had once loved both calling for her. She ignored the shouts of the people she shoved out of her way, not caring who she offended on her way to the door.

None of it mattered. Only Bellamy.

_Bellamy. Bellamy. Bellamy._

She ran after him, not sure if she was calling his name out loud or in her head. It wouldn’t have mattered either way since it was clear he was ignoring her. She just needed to get to him and then she could make him see.

He had a decent head start but she was determined enough that she caught up with him eventually. Grabbing his arm she spun him toward her and the fury in his eyes scared her. She was losing him.

“Bellamy-” she started but he cut her off.

“No,” he said, “we aren’t doing this.”

“Please,” she begged, not letting go of him, “let me explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain, Princess.” 

For the first time in months he said her nickname, not with the fondness she had gotten so used to but like it put a bad taste in his mouth and it broke her. The tears that had been threatening to spill over finally won and she started to cry. She couldn't let him go.

“Bellamy, please!” Clarke’s voice broke and, for a moment, she could see her Bellamy in his eyes. But then he shut down again and yanked his arm free.

“No,” he repeated, softer this time with a pain that tore her heart out. Then he shook his head and turned to leave again. With his back to her, he said one last thing. “Goodbye, Clarke.”

As she watched him walk away she fell to her knees and started sobbing. He was gone. He left her. Just like everyone else, he fucking left her. And it was all her fault. Just like every other good thing in her life, she had lost him too.

She didn’t know how long she was on the ground before she felt a pair of hands lift her up and help her start walking. After a moment she heard Jasper and Monty’s voices telling her everything was ok and saw Murphy’s profile as his arm was wrapped around her waist leading her home. She simply nodded and kept putting one foot in front of the other, not processing any of the soothing words they were saying or where they were.

When they finally reached her place she saw Monty open her purse and grab her keys. She must have forgotten it at the bar. She should thank him but she didn’t seem to have the words. They sat her on the couch and put a blanket around her shoulders. It was probably cold, though she couldn’t feel it. A cold glass of water was pressed into her hands and it was only then that she realized they were shaking. She sipped it slowly, letting the icy liquid rush down her throat. It was only then that she realized how thirsty she had been.

When the door opened a few minutes later, she saw Raven rush beside her to the seat Monty wasn’t occupying and Octavia kneel in front of her. That’s when it all hit her again.

“Octavia,” she said, voice tight with worry. She had to make her friend understand. Bellamy was her brother and it looked like she cheated on him. “I didn’t mean to kiss her. I didn’t even really kiss her. She kissed me. It wasn’t what it looked like. I’m so sorry.”

Octavia wrapped her arms around Clarke and held tight. “Shh,” she whispered in her ear, running her hands in comforting circles on Clarke’s back, “it’s ok. I trust you. I saw her kiss you and I saw you not kiss back. Bellamy just walked in at literally the worst possible second. But I know you and I trust you.”

“Oh god,” Clarke choked out with another sob, “you’re brother. I tried to catch up to him to explain but he wouldn’t listen. He wouldn’t even let me talk.”

“That’s because Bellamy is an idiot,” Raven said.

“No!” Clarke said, pulling back to look at her friends. “It’s my fault. I ruin everything that's ever good in my life. I never even told him how I feel.”

“Just give him time,” Monty said.

“Yeah,” Jasper replied, “I know he’ll come around. He’s crazy about you.”

“Not anymore,” Clarke said, “not after this.”

“Bellamy may be a dumbass,” Murphy said from his spot near her patio door, “but he doesn’t give up that easily. Over reacts? Sure. But he will be back and groveling before you know it.”

“Everyone is right,” Octavia said, holding her hands tightly. “I know my brother. He’s going to realize what an idiot he’s being and come around with flowers and chocolate and make your favorite meal and spend eternity trying to make this up to you.”

“I love him,” she said, pleading.

“I know, honey,” Octavia said, pulling Clarke in again. “I know you do. And he loves you. We’ll fix all of this. You’ll see.”

That night the girls all piled in Clarke’s bed and the boys crashed in the living room. Bellamy’s sweatshirt was still draped over the chair by her desk and she grabs it before getting into bed on his side. It smelled like him. She suddenly realized this is all she had left of him, a vague smell on her pillow, and even that would fade. As she cried herself to sleep her friends were there but didn't know how to help her.

After she fell asleep, Octavia and Raven both looked at each other. This was bad and they didn’t know what to do. Octavia tried calling him, so did everyone else, but all the calls went straight to voicemail. Clarke may be their newest friend but she was family too. And now she was broken and they were helpless.

The next morning, Clarke awoke to the smell of pancakes and bacon. For a brief moment, she smiled, imagining Bellamy in her kitchen with his curls a mess and glasses perched on his nose because he was too lazy to put his contacts in that early. The image made her smile.

Then reality crashed around her and she remembered that he was gone. That he wasn’t prepping her coffee just the way she liked it and putting the tiny chocolate chips in her pancakes because he knew she thought they tasted better. They wouldn’t argue about her sugar consumption and how she was going to have no teeth before she was forty. He was gone and it was her fault.

Despite the strong desire to never leave her bed again, she forced herself to sit up slowly and eventually stand. After going to the restroom she splashed her face with cold water. She was a mess. Her eyes were swollen from crying and her hair was a lost cause. She sighed before putting it up and forcing herself to go see her friends. She knew they were only trying to help but she kind of wished they would just leave. With a deep, fortifying breath she made her way out to the kitchen.

“Hey,” Raven said when she saw her. “There’s breakfast and coffee. We made eggs and pancakes and bacon. The guys had to go. Murphy had the early shift with Kane and Monty and Jasper had the last day of their internship program. But me and O are here all day.”

The pancakes had the big chocolate chips and it made her tear up.

“Oh, babe,” Octavia said, “it will be ok. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now but it really will.”

“I know,” Clarke said with a tight smile. “It’s just going to take a while for me to get over him.”

“I really don’t think you’re going to need to,” Raven said. “He’s going to come around. He just needs to stop being a stubborn ass.”

“It’s alright guys,” Clarke said, “really. I understand why he’s upset and I’m not mad at him. I probably would have reacted the exact same way. I just need to figure out how to go forward from here.”

Raven’s phone buzzed and she frowned at it. “It’s just Wick,” she said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes, “nothing to worry about.”

The girls ate together quietly with Raven shooting over a text here and there. Clarke had nothing to say. Eventually, they all sat on her couch with large glasses of wine and put on The Great British Bake Off. Octavia claimed it was impossible to be upset while watching charming British people get schooled by Paul Hollywood.

For the most part, she was right. While they watched she allowed herself to get distracted by it. She even managed a few small smiles. They drank their wine and ordered Indian take out and it was all fine.

At one point Clarke fell asleep on the couch. She couldn’t have been out long when she slowly came to and heard her friends speaking quietly in the corner.

“So what did Wick say anyways?” Octavia asked.

“Just that Bellamy was there and safe,” Raven replied. “He’s trying to talk him into coming back and talking to Clarke but you know your brother.”

“Stubborn as a fucking mule”

“Exactly. He said Bellamy agreed he would talk to Clarke but refused to come back tonight. He said he doesn’t want to deal with her tonight.”

“God damn it Bell,” Octavia said, clearly frustrated. “Why is my brother such a dumbass? If he isn’t careful he’s going to break her.”

Raven was quiet for a moment before she sighed. “I’m a little worried he already has.”

Clarke’s tears fell silently as she listened to her friend's words. It wasn’t that she was surprised. She knew Bellamy wouldn’t want to talk to her. But that didn’t make it hurt any less. Even though Wick had said Bellamy had agreed to talk to her she was sure he was only saying that to appease his friend. She had lost him before she ever really got him.

Eventually, her tears pulled her back to sleep. She woke a few hours later to Octavia’s famous spaghetti bolognese, the only thing she could successfully make without burning it. The girls chatted about nothing in particular although Clarke mostly stayed quiet and picked at her food. They all watched a movie and cuddled up together on the couch and Clarke did her best to keep her emotions inside her chest. She mostly succeeded.

But eventually, her friends had to go. Octavia offered to stay again but she said she was fine. Clarke knew that her friend was supposed to be leaving for a short trip with Lincoln the next day and she probably had to go pack. So she told her friends to go. Really, she just wanted to go to sleep. They left with the promise to text her tomorrow.

She hopped in the shower, feeling gross after a day of drinking and crying. But that turned out to be a bad idea. There on the shelf was his favorite body wash, green and smelling like a forest. She couldn’t help herself from opening it and breathing the scent in deep. When the tears began to flow her only thought was at least the water would wash them away.

When she got to her room she laid down and picked up her phone. There were a few texts from her mom and Wells that she replied to quickly. But nothing from him.

The truth was, though, she knew there wouldn’t be. Despite all her friends' insistence that Bellamy would forgive her, she knew better. Everyone she loved always left her. Maybe Lexa had been right the first time. Love really was weakness.

She was grateful that night as the blank, emptiness of sleep pulled her under. She did not dream.

After a long night’s sleep, Clarke woke up feeling determined. This would not break her. She was stronger than this. So she did what she did best and shoved it all away. Eventually, she knew she would feel again but, at least for now, feeling nothing was easier than the pain.

Her first task of the day was to complete her painting of Bellamy. Clarke was never the type to leave her art unfinished, even if it hurt. So she finished putting the galaxies around his head and in his eyes. She mapped out constellations of freckles on his face and the brightness of the sun in his smile. The painting had an air of science fiction to it. But in the middle of it, all was just Bellamy, real and nearly tangible. She ached to touch him.

Shaking her head she stepped back and admired her work. It was done. Now it just had to dry and she could give it to him and start the process of closing the Bellamy chapter of her life.

Clarke sighed looking at the painting, allowing herself a moment to be sad before shutting it back up somewhere deep inside of her again. With a final deep breath, she finally got ready for work.

When she walked into the gallery, Maya was at the front desk and smiled warmly at her.

“Good afternoon!” Maya said.

Clarke smiled a polite smile at her friend as she started to get ready to take over the desk from her. “Hello, Maya. I hope preparations for the party haven’t been too bad today. Especially with Lincoln being gone for a couple of days. Anyone lost their minds yet?”

Maya gave her a strange look but then laughed. “Not completely,” she said, “but Fox has been more scattered than usual. I told her she isn’t allowed to go near any of the sculptures or canvas paintings until the party's over.”

“Probably for the best,” Clarke said, looking over Maya’s notes for the day. “Well, everything seems in order so you can go if you’re ready. I’m sure you are seeing Jasper again tonight so you wouldn’t want to be late.”

Clarke did her best to smother the bite of jealousy that ate away at her insides. It wasn’t Maya’s fault that she was crazy for a wonderful guy and Clarke was stuck pining after a man who didn’t trust her enough to even talk to her. Clarke shook her head and pasted on a fake smile for her friend.

“Are you alright?” Maya asked, putting a hand on Clarke’s shoulder.

“Fine,” Clarke lied with her fake smile firm on her lips, “just a bit tired. Haven’t been sleeping well.”

Maya’s eyebrows knitted together, uncertain. “If you say so,” she said.

Clarke internally let out a sigh of relief. Someday she would have to talk about it but not today. Not yet.

“Just so you know,” Maya said as she was leaving, hand on the door handle, “you can always talk to me. If you need to. I know we aren’t as close as some of your other friends but I am here. And I’m a pretty good listener.”

“Thanks, Maya,” Clarke said, softening a bit, “I appreciate that.”

Then, with just a small nod, her friend was gone.

Clarke did her best to keep busy throughout her shift. Luckily it was only a four hour shift today and there was still a lot to do. She got final quotes from the vendors, confirmed the current guest count as well as their plus-ones, worked on the arrangement of the paintings that would be displayed for decor versus the ones for auction, and started to work her way through her emails.

She wouldn’t say she didn’t think of Bellamy once because that would just be unrealistic. But she didn’t think of only him. She supposed that was an improvement, if only a small one.

_It will get easier. Just one day at a time._

When the day ended and she had to close up the gallery she stood outside in the cold for a few moments, dreading the thought of going home. Her apartment was filled with ghosts. She and Bellamy draped across each other fighting about whether they should watch a documentary or a cooking show haunted her couch. Bellamy, asleep in her bed with his curls spread across her pillow haunted her bedroom. Him cooking in her kitchen, his mouth between her thighs against the hall door, him dripping water on her bathroom floor in his rush to get ready for work.

He was everywhere. And the fact that he was nowhere was too much.

Instead of going home and facing it, she went to the bar. She was fairly certain he wouldn’t be there. She just wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing.

When she opened the doors to the bar she tried desperately not to cry. Coming here had been a terrible idea. Before she could leave, though, Harper came over and threw her arms around Clarke.

“Hey,” Harper said, pulling Clarke over to the table. “I know you probably want to bolt but I’m glad you’re here. Sit. I’ll get you some beer and chicken fingers.”

Clarke laughed humorlessly. “Make it a whiskey and add in some jalapeno poppers and we’ve got a deal.”

Harper put a reassuring hand on Clarke’s shoulder, poured her a large measure of Jack Daniel’s before heading to the back to put in her order.

Clarke stared into the drink, swirling it absently. She didn’t know what she was going to do. The ghost of him was everywhere, not just her apartment. Just as she was considering asking her mom if she could stay with her for a few days she felt another tap on her shoulder.

Her stomach hit the floor when she saw it was Lexa again.

“Before you say anything,” Lexa said before Clarke’s mouth could even open, “I came here to apologize for last night. I had no idea you had moved on and were seeing someone when I kissed you. I had no right to do that anyway. Realistically I shouldn’t have kissed you at all without checking that you wanted me to but I was just so relieved that you forgave me that I acted on instinct.”

“Amazingly,” Clarke said, “I actually don’t blame you. There’s nothing to apologize for, though I appreciate that you did. There’s no way you could have known about Bellamy. How did you find out anyway?”

“After you left and all your friends ran after you Harper pulled me aside and explained. I waited around for a while to see if you would come back but you never did. I’m assuming it went poorly?”

“That’s an understatement.”

Lexa frowned. “I am sorry for that,” she said. “This is all my fault. I didn’t mean to ruin your happiness. Would it help if I spoke with him?”

Clarke shook her head. “I doubt it,” she said. “Besides, he doesn’t seem interested in talking to anyone. I doubt you would be the exception.”

“For what it’s worth,” Lexa said, “I think he’s crazy about you. I saw the look in his eyes and I heard about him a bit from Harper. But sometimes it takes people a while to process shock and pain before they can be rational about it. It’s clear you care about him. Just don’t give up on him as I did on you.”

“Thanks, Lexa,” Clarke said with genuine affection for her former love. “So can we be friends still?”

“I’d like that,” Lexa said with a smile.

The girls talked for a while longer, although Clarke constantly avoided the topic of Bellamy. They ate their appetizers and drank whiskey and Clarke did feel better. She wasn’t going to allow herself to have hope for her lost love but she was beginning to believe she would be ok. When Lexa walked away this time she did look back. But this time, Clarke gave her a smile and a wave and let her go.

When she got home she glanced at the patio and considered going outside but couldn’t. She didn't want to see his smoke and know he was down there without her. Instead, she went straight to sleep. The next day she would take her mom up on the offer to stay with her for a few days. She couldn’t be here anymore and she wouldn’t turn down the chance for a break.

When she woke the next day she checked her painting was dry before putting it in a bubble-wrapped envelope with a note attached to the front. She didn’t allow herself to think about it before she laid it against his door. She laid her fingers on his door, briefly. When a sob threatened to escape she took a deep breath and fled down the stairs with her fake smile firmly in place, ready to face another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am posting this an hour away from the start of the very last episode of The 100. This show has taken me on quite a ride. There have been things I have loved, things I have hated, and everything in between. I've laughed, cried, yelled, and experienced things I didn't know I could because of this show and I am so grateful that it has existed.
> 
> That being said, I am not going to be watching tonight. I am not sure I ever will watch the last few episodes. To me, this season is not really our show. For me, this show ended in season 6. There have been elements I have enjoyed (particularly the Murphy moments and Octavia moments) but none of that excuses what they did to our mains.
> 
> I just want you all to know that I love you, I support you, and I'm here for you. The show may be over but the fandom will never die. Not as long as we are around to be a part of it. I will finish this fic, write other fics, read fics. I will watch videos, blog about it on tumblr, scream about it on discord. We are The 100 and Jason can't take that away from us.
> 
> So whether you watch tonight or not, if you stream it or watch on cable, if you hate the show now or love it, we are here together.
> 
> May we meet again...


	18. You Found Me

  


In the end, it took two full days of moping, a swift kick in the ass from Wick, and a lengthy and profanity-filled text from Raven for Bellamy to grow up and go home. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to Clarke. The truth was, not only did he owe her the chance to at least explain but he really did miss her. The problem was he was afraid. And prideful. And stubborn. Those were not a very useful combination when it came to trying to fix things with the girl he had finally admitted he was desperately in love with.

When he finally got up the courage to go home, his heart was in his throat. The first thing he was going to do was change into new clothes and eat something that wasn’t the microwave meals and take-out Wick seemed to solely survive on. Then he would face her.

What he wasn’t expecting was the thin package that was leaning against his door and the letter attached to its front sporting his name. When he got closer he immediately recognized Clarke’s tight, slightly loopy handwriting and his stomach dropped.

He took the package and letter inside, hands shaking as he sat on the couch and tore open the envelope.

_Bellamy,_

_It took me a while to figure out what I wanted to say to you in this letter. There are so many things I need to tell you and I somehow can’t quite figure out how to say them. I have a pile of balled up, rejected versions of this next to me to prove it. I know you deserve an explanation and I know you deserve apologies. I just don’t know the best way to explain everything and try to make you see what happened and why._

_I know everyone says things like “it wasn’t what it looked like” or “you don’t understand” but in this case, it’s actually true. The girl you saw kissing me was my ex, Lexa. She came back to town and showed up at the bar without telling me. I’m guessing she saw my Instagram post and followed the geotag. Whatever. The how doesn’t matter. What matters is the why. She came to apologize for what she did to me. She left me right after my father died with no explanation, just a stupid note telling me she was never coming back. It broke me and I didn’t think I would ever be ok again._

_But then I met you. Suddenly my heart was able to open up and I could truly feel again. You brought me back to myself and I can never thank you enough for that. You reminded me that I am capable of being loved and giving love in return. You showed me that not everyone is just going to cast me aside._

_I guess it’s fitting that I managed to screw all of that up. Although granted, I’m not sure I can take all the blame for this one. When I told Lexa I forgave her she took the message wrong and thought I meant we could get back together. When I told her I had found happiness again I wasn’t clear enough that my happiness had come in the form of a snarky, grumpy, history nerd. So she kissed me and, because I am clearly the luckiest person alive, that’s when you showed up._

_Just so you know, I’m not writing this is some vain attempt to win you back. This isn’t one of those Hallmark Channel Christmas specials that you pretend to hate but let me watch ten in a row. This is real life. But you do deserve an explanation. I have been cheated on and I remember how it felt like somehow the whole thing was my fault. That I hadn’t done enough to keep them happy or I wasn’t good enough. Absolutely none of that applies to you, Bellamy._

_To begin with, I want to make it clear that I did not want her to kiss me and I still don’t want her to kiss me. You’ve been it for me for a while now. I probably should have told you that at some point but that doesn’t make it less true. Even before we stopped being idiots and finally did something about it you have had my heart. The kiss was a misunderstanding and she is well aware now that she and I will never be anything more than friends._

_But I also want you to understand that you are amazing. You are smart and funny and loyal. You take care of everyone else before yourself no matter the cost. Everyone has so much respect for you and sees so much good in you. I hope someday you can see it in yourself too. You have made me so happy in the short time I’ve had with you and you will always, always be good enough. Much more than, if I’m being honest._

_I know you haven’t opened your package yet (I remember you telling me once that cards always had to be opened before the gifts they came with, that it was sacred) so I wanted to give you some clarity on that too. I started this even before we got together. It’s a continuation and updated version of the sketch I started that day at the park. I’m pretty sure that was when I began to fall for you so I couldn’t help but immortalize it. What you’ll see is how I see you, Bell. You are as infinite as the universe. I was planning on giving it to you for Christmas since you liked the original so much. I know this is a little early but I thought you should have it, just in case I don’t get another chance to give it to you._

_So even if this is goodbye I want to say thank you. You have given me so much. Even though it hurts now, and god it really does hurt, I know it won’t last forever. You’ve shown me that I can handle more than I think I can and I am capable of happiness. You have shown me that there is still love in my heart and that my soul is not eternally shattered. You have reminded me what it feels like to smile and to trust someone else with my heart._

_I don’t want to say goodbye but I can let you go if that’s what you need. I just wanted to get my chance to tell you all of this. I know I’m rambling at this point so I’ll stop here._

_I’ll just leave it with: may we meet again._

_Merry Chrismas Bellamy,  
Clarke ___

__He read the letter three times before he could bring himself to open the package. When he did, it took his breath away. It was him but not. While she was right that it was a continuation of the sketch from that day at the park the truth was it was so much more. It was as if he had been suspended in the middle of the universe, constellations dancing and mixing with his freckles, curls untamed and interlaced with stars, and eyes bright like suns shining out. It was still unmistakably him, sitting on a swing at the park by the river, but now it was so much more. It was as if he was swinging through the universe itself and was just about to let go and let the stars carry him away. Was this really how she saw him?_ _

__Bellamy was up and out the door before he could process what he was doing, thoughts of food and changing long gone from his mind. All he knew was that he had to see her. He took the stairs three at a time, reaching her door in record time he took a few deep breaths before he knocked. And he waited. And waited. He tried knocking again but he didn’t even hear any movement from inside. His first thought was that she was avoiding him, not that he would blame her. But it wasn’t like she knew who was at the door. Then he realized she must be at work._ _

__Disappointed, he made his way back downstairs. It wasn’t like he could go confront her at work, even if his sister’s boyfriend was her boss. As much as he didn’t want to, his only choice was to wait. Grabbing some leftover lasagna from the fridge, he ran a hand through his already messy curls._ _

__How could he have been so stupid? Raven had warned him that he was overreacting. Looking back now, it all seemed so painfully clear. He knew Clarke, better than he had ever known anyone. He fell in love with her honesty and the way she quietly cared for those that mattered to her. Why would he think she would just throw him aside like that?_ _

__He just hoped it wasn’t too late._ _

__Over the next week, he waited for her to come home. He still went to work, saw Miller and Murphy a few times who, thankfully, didn’t bring her up. But no matter what he did, she was on his mind. And no matter how long he waited, her apartment stayed silent, dark, and empty. And the longer it did the more despondent he became, even when he was out with his friends. It was one of those nights that Murphy finally broke._ _

__“Alright,” Murphy said, slamming his beer on the table with a bit more force than likely necessary, “enough of this moping bullshit. It’s obvious this is about Clarke but I’m fucking sick of you walking around like you are the one who got hurt.”_ _

__“Excuse me,” Bellamy said, eyes narrowing and swallowing down his instinctive simmering anger and leveling him with an unimpressed glare._ _

__“You heard me,” Murphy said, eyes cold and completely unintimidated. “Look, you weren’t there that night. You weren’t the one who had to practically drag Clarke back to her apartment because she could hardly hold herself up from the grief. You weren’t the one who had her sobbing into his chest how sorry she was and how much of a fuck up she was. That was me. I was the one who had to pick your girlfriend back up after you broke her heart.”_ _

__“You think I don’t get that?” Bellamy yelled, standing up so fast his chair rocked back on its legs and nearly fell. “You think I don’t know that I fucked everything up? I’ve called, I’ve gone to her apartment, I even considered going to her work but I know that would just embarrass her. What am I supposed to do if she won’t answer my calls and is avoiding me?”_ _

__“Hey,” Miller said, “we know that you’ve been trying. We know that you’re taking responsibility for it. Can we all just sit the fuck down and remember that we’re friends?”_ _

__“Whatever man,” Murphy said leaning back in his chair, feigning nonchalance. “All I’m saying is you don’t get a love like that every day. If you want her you need to fight for her.”_ _

__“I plan to,” Bellamy said, plopping back into his chair heavily and scrubbing a hand over the scraggly beard that had grown in that week, “but I can’t do shit if she won’t give me the time of day. So unless you have any brilliant suggestions I am just as fucked as I was before.”_ _

__“Well,” Miller said, “I may not have a brilliant suggestion but I may have a very, very stupid one.”_ _

__“You know how much I love stupid ideas,” Murphy said with a smirk._ _

__“Well, the problem is that Bellamy can’t get close to her. She won’t answer the phone, she isn’t staying at her apartment, she’s never at the bar. So what event this weekend that you are attending is she almost guaranteed to be at?”_ _

__Bellamy’s eyes got wide. Of course, he had nearly forgotten. “Monty’s birthday.”_ _

__“Exactly,” Miller said, a smirk of his own in place. “Monty is one of her best friends in the world. She would never miss his birthday, no matter how much she doesn’t want to see your ugly mug. I’m not saying make a big show of it. But maybe at the end of the night, you could pull her aside and try to talk to her?”_ _

__“It’s probably your best shot,” Murphy said._ _

__“You’re right,” Bellamy said. “Before the night ends I’ll make sure we talk. And I will actually listen. She deserves at least that much, even if it’s just to tell me what an asshole I am.”_ _

__“Well at least she wouldn’t be wrong,” Murphy said. Bellamy shoved him off his chair as Miller shook his head and turned their video game back on._ _

__Bellamy had a plan. Just two more days and he would see her. Then he could fix this._ _

__The waiting was the hardest part. His mind unhelpfully played and replayed about a million different ways this could go, none of them particularly good. He knew what he should say to her. He should tell her he was sorry, that he had been an idiot for not trusting her. He should tell her he loved her painting. He should tell her he loved her._ _

__But none of that would matter if she just hated him now. Murphy had been right. He had fucked everything up. And now there was a very good chance he would never get the chance to tell her any of the things he should have told her every day since that day at the park._ _

__The night of the party Bellamy showed up to TonDC nearly two hours early and plopped himself at the bar. Harper came over with a beer and a small sad smile._ _

__“Hey,” she said. “How’ve you been holding up? I like the beard.”_ _

__Bellamy laughed shortly. “It’s not exactly a fashion choice,” he said. “More a lack of motivation to care.”_ _

__“Ah,” she said, “so you’re doing well then?”_ _

__“I’ve had better weeks.”_ _

__“Have you talked to her?”_ _

__Count on Harper to never pull her punches. “No,” he said. “I’ve been calling but she sends my calls straight to voicemail. And I don’t think she’s been home. Every time I go up there she isn’t there and there doesn’t seem to be any activity. Usually, I can hear her moving around when I’m home.”_ _

__“Well you aren’t wrong,” Harper told him. “She’s been staying at her mom's. She said she needed a break. Besides, it’s not too bad of a drive from her mom's place to Polis. She’s been so busy getting ready for that party that she can justify the fact that she is most definitely avoiding you.”_ _

__Bellamy snorted and downed his beer. “It’s going to be a long night, isn’t it?”_ _

__“Not if I have my way,” Monty said, coming up to sit beside him. “Glad you made it. Wasn’t sure you would, all things considered.”_ _

__“I have been trying to fix it,” Bellamy said, suddenly needing to make sure her friends knew the truth. “I know it’s my fault. All of it. I know I was a damn idiot and overreacted. But she’s been avoiding me.”_ _

__“You have nothing to prove to me, Bellamy,” Monty told him with a friendly hand on his shoulder. “I’ve been with her a few of the times she’s hit the decline button. She won’t listen to me when I tell her to give you a chance.”_ _

__“Just try not to ruin my boyfriend’s big day,” Harper said, passing Bellamy another beer and a shot with a smile._ _

__“I’ll work on it,” Bellamy said and laughed. He felt a weight off his shoulders at their words. Though he knew he had a long way to go, it helped that her friends didn’t hate him. It made him feel like maybe he still had a chance._ _

__As the night went on more of their friends began to show up. Murphy and Emori came with Shaw and Raven, Miller brought Jackson, Jasper had Maya. Everyone was paired up and Bellamy had never felt more alone. Every time the doors opened he looked up waiting for her and every time he was disappointed. He began to worry that she really wouldn’t show up._ _

__Still, he felt like he should have been ready for the sight of Clarke coming through TonDC’s doors. Yet when she finally did the air caught in his lungs. The glow of the setting sun shone behind her from the still open doors crowning her in a halo of light that made her ethereal. His thoughts drifted back to the painting she had given him that he had hung in his room so it was the first thing he saw every day. If she saw him as the sky then she was most definitely the sun brightening everything around her. She smiled when she saw their friends together, only a hint of sadness to her eyes, barely a whisper. He doubted someone would notice if they didn’t know her the way he did, didn’t stare into those eyes for hours, hadn’t seen every emotion they were capable of. He knew because he knew her._ _

__If he hadn’t known he loved her before he certainly did now._ _

__A moment later and it was like she could sense his eyes and hers slowly met his with furrowed brows. The contact held for a moment before his sister grabbed her arm. It was a testament to his focus that he hadn’t even noticed her come in. When she looked away the spell was broken and he let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding._ _

__As the night wore on, he couldn’t seem to stop watching her. On the surface, she smiled and seemed ok. She played darts with Jasper, danced with Octavia, and took shots with Murphy. But despite the normal facade she had expertly adapted, no doubt a carryover from her life in “society” when she lived with her mother, he could tell she was off. Her smile never reached her eyes. She took a lot of breaks outside away from the crowd. Everything she did just felt hollow, blank._ _

__And it killed Bellamy knowing this was his fault._ _

__“Hey big brother,” Octavia said, startling him from his thoughts._ _

__He afforded her a small smile. “Hey O.”_ _

__“You know,” she said with a smile, “you could always try talking to her instead of just staring a hole in the side of her head. I feel like that might be faster.”_ _

__Bellamy scoffed. “She doesn’t want to talk to me. She’s barely looked at me since she walked in.”_ _

__“She misses you, Bell.”_ _

__“And you think I don’t?”_ _

__Octavia rolled her eyes. “You are way too smart to be this dumb. I know you miss her. I never doubted that fact. And I know you want to make it better but you are never going to accomplish anything just standing here.”_ _

__“I just don’t want to wreck another good night,” he said._ _

__“Just don’t blow this chance,” she said, grabbing her drink from the bar and starting back toward the group, “you might not get another.”_ _

__Bellamy knew Octavia was right. He didn’t want to screw things up but he didn’t even know where to start. But he knew he had to start somewhere. So he took a shot off the bar, sucked in a deep breath, and made his way over._ _

__Joining the group he patted Monty on the shoulder and gave Harper a hug, shared a few stories with Raven, and beat Murphy at a game of pool. A few times he swore he could feel her eyes on him but when he looked up she was looking away. After the third time, he decided to take a chance._ _

__“Hey,” he said, coming up beside her._ _

__She gave a tightlipped smile and wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Hi.”_ _

__Her cold voice made his stomach drop. But he knew this reaction was likely. They had a long way to go until the warm and happy and soft Clarke he knew was back._ _

__Bellamy took another deep breath and shrugged. “Do you want to play a game?” he asked, motioning to the pool table._ _

__Her eyes flashed with anger he didn’t expect. “I think I’ll pass.”_ _

__With that she turned her back to him and went up to Monty, whispering something in his ear. He frowned but nodded and Clarke grabbed her purse and jacket before heading to the door._ _

__Bellamy didn’t hesitate before rushing to follow her out of the bar._ _

__“Clarke!” he called after her retreating form. She hesitated in her step but didn’t stop. “Clarke wait, please.”_ _

__With that, she whipped around with more fury than he had ever seen in her eyes. “What the hell do you want, Bellamy?”_ _

__“I just want to talk,” he told her._ _

__She let out a loud breath and dropped her purse heavily on the pavement. “Are you serious right now?”_ _

__“Yes,” Bellamy said, “of course I am. Don’t you want to talk about this?”_ _

__“I did want to,” she yelled. “The day you left me I wanted to talk. Any of the dozen calls and texts I sent that you didn’t answer in the days after, I wanted to talk. And now that you’re ready to act like nothing happened you want to talk? It’s too late Bellamy!”_ _

__“I’m sorry,” Bellamy said, voice beginning to rise to meet hers. “That’s what I’ve been trying to say all fucking week. But you disappeared too! I have no problem admitting I fucked up, I am well aware. But you didn’t even give me the chance to tell you that!”_ _

__“And you think that just fixes everything?” she said. “You think I should just fall into your arms because you’re sorry? You broke my heart, Bellamy.”_ _

__Those words were a punch to his gut but he couldn’t give up. “Please, Clarke,” he said, grabbing both her hands with his own. “Please let me at least try to make this better. I miss you. I don’t want this to be where we end.”_ _

__Clarke just shook her head and took her hands back. “I can’t, I can’t. It’s too late.”_ _

__“Why? It doesn’t have to be. I can fix this. I can-”_ _

__“Because I loved you!”_ _

__Bellamy was stunned into silence and he couldn’t move, thoughts going a million miles an hour unable to process what she just said._ _

__Clarke laughed humorlessly. “I loved you Bellamy and you broke me. I spent this whole week doing my best to let you go. Lexa was right, love is weakness and I don’t want to feel like this ever again. Goodbye Bellamy.”_ _

__With that Clarke grabbed her purse and walked away. Bellamy watched her go and knew, despite what he wanted, he had to let her go this time. He had found the person he was meant to be with and because of his impulsivity he had lost her._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those that are curious, there is a playlist that goes with this fic.
> 
> If you don't mind some light spoilers (more like hints) each song is the title of a chapter. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).


	19. War of Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I am so sorry I disappeared. I'll put more notes at the end but I just wanted you to know that I am still here and we are almost at the finish line! Enjoy!
> 
> For those that are curious, there is a playlist that goes with this fic.
> 
> If you don't mind some light spoilers (more like hints) each song is the title of a chapter. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).

  


All Clarke could hear was the pounding of her heart in her ears and her heels on the pavement as she walked away. She knew it would take every ounce of her determination to not turn around as she replayed everything that had just happened on loop in her head.

The last week of her life had been rough. Hiding at her mom’s obviously wasn’t a solution but it had helped her pull herself together. She had shown up to her childhood home late at night and her mom didn’t pry. One thing she could always count on was that her mother knew when to ask questions and when to just give her daughter space.

But eventually, she knew she had to go home. Hiding wasn’t going to solve anything. Besides, It was Monty’s birthday that weekend and she wasn’t going to let some stupid boy come in between her and her friends.

So, with a promise from her mom that her door was always open, she forced herself to go back home and get ready for the party. She knew Bellamy was likely to be there but she could handle it. It wasn’t like she had never had her heart broken before.

So she went. And she saw him. And it hurt, of course, it did. As much as she wanted to pretend he wasn’t there she couldn’t help her eyes from straying to him. It was like coming inside a warm room after being stuck in the snow. All she wanted in the world was to wrap herself up in his arms and never let go.

The truth was, all of this showed her that they just couldn’t be together. She wasn’t sure she could be with anyone. So she let his calls go to voicemail and ignored her friend’s pleas to hear him out. What was the point? Besides, he had made his choice clear. They were over. She didn’t need his pity call saying they could just be friends. 

So, she spent the party avoiding him. She played pool, she took shots, she laughed with her friends, and she tried to pretend it didn’t all make her feel empty. And she did her best to forget he was there. Which is probably why she was so unprepared when he approached her and asked her to play pool.

For reasons she couldn’t quite explain, his carefree attitude made her furious. How could he be so unaffected by all of this? Had she really imagined everything they were that he could just so carelessly act like everything was fine?

She couldn’t stay here. She made her excuses to Monty and left without another word.

But of course, he had to follow her. Of course, he had to apologize. Of course, he had to say all the things he was supposed to have said the day of their fight. But all she could see in her mind was his back walking away as she broke on the pavement. No, it was too late, if all of this was any indication of what they were like together, she now knew that they could never work. She had spent all week trying to let him go. She couldn’t do this. And she wouldn’t let him back in.

“I’m sorry,” Bellamy said. “That’s what I’ve been trying to say all fucking week. But you disappeared too! I have no problem admitting I fucked up, I am well aware. But you didn’t even give me the chance to tell you that!”

“And you think that just fixes everything?” she said, wishing so badly that it could be that easy. “You think I should just fall into your arms because you’re sorry? You broke my heart, Bellamy.”

“Please, Clarke,” he said, grabbing both her hands with his own. “Please let me at least try to make this better. I miss you. I don’t want this to be where we end.”

“I can’t, I can’t. It’s too late.”

Her heart stuttered as he grabbed her hands. All she had wanted all week was for him to touch her again. But now that he had she just couldn’t handle it. It was all too much.

“Why? It doesn’t have to be. I can fix this. I can-” Bellamy said but she couldn’t listen anymore.

“Because I loved you!” Clarke laughed humorlessly, hardly believing she had just said that. Yet here they were. The words she had longed to tell him for so long were out now but it was all wrong. Everything was all wrong. “I loved you Bellamy and you broke me. I spent this whole week doing my best to let you go. Lexa was right, love is weakness and I don’t want to feel like this ever again. Goodbye Bellamy.”

So she left. She left him standing on the pavement knowing that, this time, she was the one breaking his heart.

She made it to the front of her building before the tears came. She clapped a hand heavily over her mouth as the first sob ripped through her body. She got up to her apartment as fast as she could, hands shaking as she unlocked her door and threw her purse on the ground, not making it to her room before she collapsed in on herself against her bedroom door and cried until she had nothing left in her.

It took a while but the tears did stop and she was eventually able to pull herself together enough to get up off of the floor. She had worked all week on fixing all her broken pieces and she wouldn’t let all that work be for nothing. But not tonight. 

Tonight she could be sad and mourn for all the things they could have been. Pushing him away was the right choice. He couldn’t hurt her if she didn’t let him in. But that sensibility was for tomorrow. Tonight was for wrapping herself in her softest blanket, listening to her saddest playlist, and drinking a glass of wine. So that was exactly what she did.

It wasn’t long later that she heard a knock on her door.

“Clarke?” Octavia said. “Please let us in. We just want to help.”

“Bellamy is an idiot,” Raven pleaded, “we all know that. But we aren’t and we just want to be there for you.”

“Let us in,” Murphy said. “I’ll make my famous nachos if you do.”

Clarke couldn’t help a smile but she just couldn’t see them. She couldn’t even make herself respond.

“Alright,” Octavia said eventually, “we understand-”

“Not all of us,” Murphy interrupted.

“Shut up Murphy,” Raven said. “We do understand. We won’t push. But we are here. Please don’t forget that.”

“We love you,” Octavia said.

As soon as their steps faded away back down the hallway Clarke cried again, this time a silent stream of tears that she didn’t bother wiping away.

Despite herself, Clarke missed him. She knew it was best to let go. She had to. But fuck, she really didn’t want to. She loved him. And now she would never have him again. It was tearing her apart.

Wrapping herself in the hoodie he had left on the back of her kitchen chair, she silently slipped out onto her balcony and just let herself breathe. It was only a matter of time before he came home. It’s not like she wouldn’t know. So she waited, breathing in the last lingering scent of him on his collar. Her tears had long since dried when she heard him. Just a distant click of his front door closing, the all too familiar cadence of his steps across the floor, the slide of his patio door, and the strike of his lighter.

There was no doubt in her mind she was on his mind as much as he was on hers. But it would fade. One day he would be laughing with Wick on the patio or bringing some new woman home to his bed and Clarke would be nothing but a distant memory. Which was what she had wanted.

But that didn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt.

Eventually, Clarke dragged herself to bed. His smell had long since disappeared from her pillows but the ghost of his presence was far from gone. She fell asleep with her hand curled into her sheets, the memory of his smile and the warmth of his eyes burned into every facet of her dreams.

It was nearly noon when she finally woke up the next day. Her dreams did not linger as she crashed back into reality. Sighing, she knew she wasn’t in a place for work today. Luckily, preparations for the party were ahead of schedule. Shooting off a quick text to Lincoln with a half-assed excuse, he responded nearly immediately saying not to worry and take all the time she needed.

Clarke snorted, sure Octavia had told him. Whatever. It was just one day. Tomorrow she would go back to the gallery with a smile on her face and her pain buried deep. That had always been a skill of hers, after all. She ignored the little voice in the back of her mind telling her that maybe, this once, it wouldn’t be that easy.

It didn’t take long for her to get restless. Her hurt energy craved an outlet, anything. She tidied up her room a bit before moving to the living room. She did dishes, dusted, even considered doing her laundry. Finally, she set up her easel to try to paint.

But there was just… nothing.

The feelings in her head wouldn’t transfer to lines and shapes and colors. They stayed a jumbled mess in her chest. And her canvas stayed blank, silently mocking her.

She wasn’t sure how long she sat there before she heard a key in her front door lock and groaned. When Wells opened the door with a sheepish smile and two coffees in hand, she shot him a lazy glare.

“You know,” she said, snatching the coffee from his outstretched hand, “when I gave you that spare key I’m fairly certain I said it was for emergencies.”

Wells chuckled. “If the bird’s nest on your head and how puffy your eyes are is any indication,” he teased, “then I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what this is.”

“Haha,” she said, secretly grateful for the coffee and his presence. He sat beside her but didn’t say anything, just looked at the empty canvas she hadn’t touched. Finally, she sighed and turned to him. “Who called you?”

“Raven,” he said, “with a slightly terrifying interjection from someone named Murphy? Interesting friends you’ve got here, Griffin.”

Clarke huffed a small laugh. “Of course they called you,” she said. “Damn meddling brats.”

“They’re just worried,” he said, “and frankly so am I. I haven’t seen you like this since Lexa, if even then. Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“How much do you know?”

“They told me the basics but I’d rather hear it from you considering I don’t even know how he went from asshole neighbor to the man you are in love with.”

Clarke took a shaky breath and started. She told him everything. From making friends with Bellamy at the park to dancing at the film festival. The coffee on the weekends, the games of pool, the bar. How he excited her and infuriated her and lit her very soul on fire. But then she told him about them never defining what they were and Lexa showing up and the fight. Running away, coming back, fighting again, running away again. She got it all out.

The effect was cathartic and she started to feel the knot of emotions in her chest unravel and a weight started to lift from her shoulders. Through it all, Wells just listened, a comforting hand on her knee. He never judged, never looked at her with pity, just let her get it all out and handed her the box of tissues when she began to cry. Thank god for her best friend.

“I just can’t believe I lost him,” she said when she was done. “There was a part of me, a big part of me, that was beginning to think he might be it for me. I know the concept of ‘the one’ is kind of dumb and arguably misogynistic but I couldn’t help it. We fit. I miss him, Wells.”

Wells simply took her hands and waited until she met his eyes. “Clarke,” he said, softly, “I know you miss him. Why wouldn’t you? I didn’t get a chance to see you two together much but I was at the Halloween party and saw you two enough to be able to see the way you looked at him. And the way he looked at you.”

“Wells-”

“Let me finish,” he said, cutting her off before she could shut him down. “I know you’ve heard a lot about Roan and me but you haven’t heard everything. For one thing, did you know we almost broke up once?”

Clarke furrowed her brow, unable to believe it. She knew they had started off a little shaky but they had seemed so solid ever since. She shook her head and he smiled a bit before he continued.

“As you are well aware, I don’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to love. To be honest, I’ve never felt I was very good at it. Falling in love with a literal prince certainly didn’t help things. His family was never really fond of us being together. Roan didn’t care but it bothered me. They dug up a lot of things about me and my family that I would have rather stayed buried. But that happens when you date someone in the public eye, even if it is just a small country most people have never heard of like Azgeda.”

“We had been together for about a year when our relationship first got splayed across the front page of some tabloid. I couldn’t handle it. It brought up every fear, every insecurity I had ever had. In my eyes, I was too broken to be with a man like him, too unimportant. It was too much and when I told him he laughed. I may love him but no one ever accused him of being an overly sensitive man. It was too much. So I ran.”

Clarke’s eyes widened. “When you went to California for your interview,” she said, understanding.

Wells nodded. “I took it to run,” he admitted. “It was the cowards way out, I know that now. But at the time, well. I didn’t see another chance. Roan might not be sensitive but do you know what he is? Stubborn. It was less than a day before he found me. He asked me what I was doing. I told him I was leaving, moving to California, that it was for the best. He was quiet a moment before nodding. I thought he was agreeing with me and it broke my heart.”

Wells laughed a bit and shook his head.

“He picked up his phone, I assumed to book a flight. But no, he was calling a real estate agent. in Los Angeles. To find us a new home. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he smiled easily and told me that wherever I went he would follow. I’ve never looked back since then. We were engaged a few weeks later. I won’t act like everything has been perfect. I still have bad days where I feel like I’m holding him back or just a placeholder. And he is still working on how to be better at supporting my feelings. But we love each other. We work on it every single day. As sappy as it sounds, sometimes love really is worth it. ”

“How did I never know any of this?” Clarke asked, shocked.

“Because I was ashamed,” he told her.

“I wouldn’t have blamed you and clearly Roan didn’t,” Clarke replied.

“No,” he said, “but I blamed myself. In a moment of weakness, a moment of fear, I almost lost the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’m not saying that’s what’s happening to you, though. Maybe you and Bellamy aren’t meant to be. Maybe there is someone better for you out there. But don’t let fear be what stops you. Don’t you think you owe it to yourself to find out?”

Clarke threw her arms around Wells’ neck and he hugged her back tightly. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

He grinned. “Good thing you’ll never have to find out.”

They ordered pizza, opened a few bottles of wine, and caught up after that. Wells was gracious enough to not bring Bellamy up again and she was thankful. She would have to deal with it eventually but it was nice to put it out of her mind, at least for a few hours.

“I have an idea,” Wells said, a little tipsy and smile crooked. “Why don’t I stick around your place for a bit. I can’t stay forever, obviously, but at least until Christmas. Roan won’t be in town until the day of your work thing, I’m off until after New Years. What do you think?

“Well you do look damn good in a tux,” Clarke said, “so why not? You can be my date and Roan can just slum it on his own. Or something like that.”

“Or something indeed,” Wells laughed. “Alright, it’s settled. I’m staying with you and we are going to have fun, eat too much, and it’s all going to be fine. I’ll go get my stuff in the morning. It’ll be like old times!”

“As long as I don’t eat so much that I can’t fit in my dress for the Gala, I’m down.”

They both laughed, clinked their glasses, and turned back to their annual rewatch of Love, Actually. She was just glad to be able to do it in person that year instead of over the phone. His presence was exactly what she needed right now.

As the night wound down, Clarke could feel herself beginning to drift. “I think it’s time for bed.”

"Oh hey," he said as they were clearing up the living room, "don't forget I still need my tickets for the Gala. I want to leave Roan's at my place when I run home tomorrow."

"I'm glad you remembered because lord knows I wouldn't have," Clarke said with a laugh as she rummaged through loose papers on her side table.

As she reached the bottom of the stack she found her sketchbook, open to the original drawing she had made of Bellamy and her breath caught in her throat.

"Hey," Wells said, putting his arm around her and looking at the drawing, "that's amazing, Clarke. I feel like half the time I forget how talented you are."

Clarke gives him a watery smile. "You should have seen the finished piece."

As her fingers traced the edges of Bellamy's smile, his eyes, his freckles, it was as if something shifted in her. She missed him, but not in the heart-shattering way she had before. Maybe, just maybe, she could try again. Maybe loving him wouldn't mean the end of herself.

She and Wells were quiet as they crawled into her bed together, the way they had for so many sleepovers as kids.

"Night, Clarke," he said as he clicked off the light.

Looking up at the ceiling, she took a deep breath before she admitted what she had been thinking all night. “I think you might be right. About Bellamy, I mean.”

Wells rolled over and grabbed her hand tight as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

“I don’t want to regret not trying. Though I’m still not sure we have a chance, I think not at least talking to him about it would be a mistake. I love him, Wells, in a way I didn’t even know I could. But I’m terrified. He broke my heart, I broke his, what if that’s all we’re capable of?”

“I don’t believe that,” he told her. “And I don’t think you do either.”

Clarke laughed. “Maybe not. We’ll see, I guess.”

Wells was quiet long enough that she figured he had fallen asleep. Finally, just as she was about to drift off she heard him whisper softly, almost as if to himself. “Yeah, I guess we will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those that are still here, thank you so much for sticking with me. I really appreciate that you all read and love my story. It has meant so much to me. There has been a lot going on lately and I just haven't had the time or energy to make moodboards or format chapters. I am in Bellarke Halloween fic exchange (keep an eye out for that on Friday), I was super sick for a week, and work has been bonkers.
> 
> Again, thank you for sticking with me. We are getting so close to the end now. I can't wait to hear what you think about where we are now. Thanks for reading!


	20. Tell Her You Love Her

  


It had been nearly two days since his fight with Clarke and Bellamy had barely been able to leave the house since. It wasn’t that he was avoiding everyone, not really. It was just that he wasn't quite ready for his friend’s well-intentioned attempts to make everything seem normal. The truth was, Clarke was their friend too. And he broke her heart. And though they knew that she had broken his too, very likely the main reason they didn’t hate him right now, it didn’t change the fact that things were awkward.

No one wanted to take sides and he would never want them to. Just because he and Clarke were over didn’t mean anything else needed to change. He just knew his friends, their friends, weren’t quite there yet.

He knew Raven would smile but it wouldn’t meet her eyes. He knew his sister would look at him with a look somewhere between pity and fury. Murphy would glare, Monty would be overly friendly, and Miller would just look uncomfortable. He didn’t even want to imagine what it would be like when, inevitably, he and Clarke were in the same space again.

At the end of the day, he didn’t want this to be the end. He wanted to be with her, preferably for forever if he had his way. He had fallen for her hard and fast and the idea of that being over just felt wrong. But what could he do?

She had made it abundantly clear what she wanted and it wasn’t for them to fix things. So, if he really loved her as much as he said he did, the best thing he could do was let her go. It wasn’t about him. Besides, if this didn’t prove Bellamy was incapable of a real relationship what else would?

He was deep into an Ancient Aliens marathon he was only half paying attention to when a loud knock started him out of his thoughts.

Bellamy frowned as he made his way to the door, no idea who would be bothering him in the middle of the afternoon when he had specifically told everyone he was staying home today.

His frown only deepened when he opened his door to see the cautious smile of a man he had only met once. It took a moment before he could place him. It was Clarke’s childhood best friend, Wells he thought his name was. What was he doing here?

“Hi,” Wells said with a sheepish smile. “I know this is a little weird but, may I come in?”

Bellamy blinked a few times before stepping aside. “Sure,” he said, “come on in.”

Wells looked around the space, appraisingly. There was no judgment in his eyes, though. He simply seemed to take it all in with that small smirk of a smile on his face.

“No offense or anything but,” Bellamy said and swallowed, “what are you doing here?”

Wells smiled at Bellamy and shrugged. “I have a feeling you already know the answer to that question. More or less."

Bellamy swallowed deeply and then sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face before he nodded. “Want a beer?”

Wells nodded. Bellamy took his time grabbing the two beers to steel himself for whatever was coming. He was sure this was some sort of big brother conversation, one he had given many of Octavia’s suitors and heartbreaks over the years. He had broken Wells’ best friend’s heart. Of course, that’s why he was here.

Then again, he had been smiling. And Bellamy had no idea what that meant.

Returning to the living room, the atmosphere was tense and awkward, but not overwhelmingly hostile. Honestly, he wasn’t really sure what he was expecting.

“So,” Wells began, “how are you doing? Honest answer please because if you say fine I’m calling bullshit.”

Bellamy snorted, surprised at the man’s bluntness. “Fair enough,” he said, “you aren’t wrong. I’m not fine but I’m trying to be. For everyone’s sake.”

“How’s that working out for you?”

“I’m sitting in my apartment at three in the afternoon, drinking a beer with a man I hardly know, watching Ancient Aliens. How do you think it’s going?”

Wells smirked again before knocking his beer lightly against Bellamy’s.

A moment passed and Bellamy sighed. “Do you mind if we head outside? I feel like I need a cigarette for this conversation.”

Wells nodded and stood, following Bellamy outside. “Only if you don’t mind me stealing one,” he said.

Bellamy glanced at him, surprised. “I wouldn’t have pegged you for a smoker.”

Wells laughed. “I’m not,” he said, “not really. I did pick it up at the end of high school, around the same time as Clarke. It was all part of our rebellious phase. My dad has always been a bit of a tight ass, forcing me to act a certain way, look a certain way, take certain classes. I mean, I get it. He was the mayor. I was expected to have a certain image. But when I was seventeen I got sick of it. Said I was going to move to LA and join a band. He didn’t believe me. So I got together with some friends, started to learn to play bass, and they all smoked and drank and shit. Clarke was usually there too.”

Bellamy furrowed his brow at the man before him. Where was he going with all of this?

Wells took a deep drag of his cigarette and blew it out, watching the smoke curl and twist in the air a moment before continuing. “Those things never last though, not for guys like me. These days the rebellion is left for occasional moments, like this one. I did end up going to the right school, getting the right degree, pursuing the right career. Definitely shocked him by getting engaged to a man but he just kind of went with it at that point. At least I'm marrying a man who might be a king someday. Lord knew that could only be good for my father's political pursuits.”

Bellamy laughed a bit. It was easy to see how he and Clarke had become friends. Wells really did seem like a good guy. He was glad Clarke had someone like Wells to lean on. After all, he just wanted her to be happy.

“Clarke, on the other hand, is a rebel by nature,” he continued with a fond smile. “She always loved living outside the box, doing things that some might see as against the grain. Dating girls, doing art, smoking, drinking, staying alone in hostels in Europe. Point to a list of young, female, rebel cliches and she’s probably done them. But it was never about that, though. Not for her. She is just the kind of woman who knows exactly who she is and exactly what she wants. And she isn’t afraid to get it. She doesn’t like being forced into a box, by her mother or society or anyone’s expectations.”

Bellamy smiled. “Believe me, I noticed.”

Wells looked at him, appraisingly. “I know you did,” he told him solemnly. “I saw it the day I met you. I’ve known Clarke my whole life. Been there for every crush, every fling, every love. And in all that time I’ve never seen anyone look at her the way you do. The thing is, Clarke might know herself but she is crap and knowing her own heart. It’s always been her weakness. Don’t get me wrong, she has a big heart and so much love. But she guards it. It scares her. She hates being vulnerable more than just about anything. So seeing her get vulnerable with you, that says a lot to me.”

Wells looked at his nearly finished cigarette for a moment before snuffing it out in the ashtray on the ledge. He took a long drink of his beer as well before leveling his eyes to Bellamy.

“We all have our ways of rebelling, Bellamy. Some people smoke cigarettes and join garage bands. Some people travel across Europe with nothing more than a backpack of clothes and a cell phone. Some even work their ass off in school and get great jobs just because the world said they couldn’t. Others run away from love because it has the power to hurt them. There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of those things, not really. Sometimes it leads to hurting others which sucks, but the act of rebelling isn’t wrong in and of itself. But eventually, we all have to grow up. We all have to start taking our lives seriously and stop letting fear control us. I know it’s easier said than done, but maybe it’s time we all grow up.”

Bellamy sighed and finished his beer too. “You’re right,” he said. “I know you’re right. I just wish I knew how to do that.”

Wells stood then, apparently ready to leave. Bellamy was surprised, he had expected a lecture or to be yelled at. But that wasn’t what Wells had done. Instead, he had said all the right things to make Bellamy realize what an idiot he’d been all on his own. And now he had even more questions than before.

Just before reaching the door, Wells paused and looked at Bellamy again. “I just have to ask this one time and then I promise to get out of your hair. Do you love her?”

Bellamy didn’t hesitate before answering. “Yeah, I do.”

Wells smiled and reached in his pocket, taking out a small white envelope. Sliding it on Bellamy’s end table, he made one final comment. “Then do something about it.”

And with that, he left.

Bellamy furrowed his brow before picking up the envelope and tearing it open. He smiled when he saw what was inside.

_  
Polis Holiday Art Gala and Silent Auction  
Downtown Civic Center Plaza  
December 23rd, 6 pm  
Silent Auction at 7 pm  
Cocktails and Dancing to Follow  
Black Tie Only  
_

He couldn’t believe Wells had given him an in. And he wasn’t going to waste it. He had three days to get his tux dry cleaned, plan what he was going to say, and try to calm the nerves in his chest making him feel like he was going to vomit.

If this worked he was going to buy Wells and Roan an amazing wedding gift. Maybe everything off their registry.

He just really hoped it would.

The next two days were torture and felt longer than any days he could remember. He worked and he slept and kept ignoring texts from his friends. No matter what he was doing, he couldn’t get his mind off the Gala. Bellamy kept going back and forth on what he should do. When he was home, he would pace the kitchen or living room. His pacing had driven Octavia so insane she said she was spending the rest of the week at Lincoln’s before slamming the door. Not that he could blame her.

He was terrified though.

The night before the Gala he was restless. Staying in his apartment wasn’t working. All he could think about was everything that could go wrong the next day. He knew this was his last chance. 

He was aware that he needed to calm down but his brain just wouldn't shut up. So he grabbed his jacket and headed to TonDC.

He knew there was no way Clarke would be there with the next day being so important and he needed perspective.

Walking in, he panicked for a moment. Jasper and Moty were there with Miller and Murphy, Harper was manning the bar. He shouldn’t be here, but it was too late now.

“Bellamy!” Jasper said, waving him over.

Bellamy blew out a breath and slid into the empty chair at their table. “Hey, guys.”

“I’m gonna go get some drinks,” Murphy mumbled before leaving the table.

“Sorry I haven’t been around this week,” Bellamy said, figuring it was best to just rip the bandage off. Clarke wasn’t the only person he needed to fix things with.

“No one’s mad at you, Bellamy,” Monty said. “You’re our friend as much as Clarke is.”

“Besides,” Miller chimed in, “it’s not like anyone actually thinks you two will stay split up.”

“What?” Bellamy said, confused.

“Of course not,” Jasper said. “You two are perfect for each other.”

Bellamy winced as Murphy returned and slammed a beer in front of him with more force than was probably necessary but Bellamy kept his mouth shut.

“The thing is, I don’t want to screw it up again,” he told them. “I know this whole thing is my fault. And it means a lot to me that you guys aren’t mad. But I should have trusted her, I should have listened to her the first time. She tried to explain and I just brushed her off.”

“That's just it though,” Miller said, “it kind of makes sense, you know? I mean, it’s not like you ever had any healthy examples of what love looks like. Your dad took off when you were six, O's dad not long after she was born. Your mom was no saint, no matter how hard she tried. Hell, even just seeing how fucked up my parents were. And don't even get me started on your own relationships. There’s no way trust would come easily to you. So you got scared and you ran.”

Bellamy sighed. “You aren’t wrong.”

“She doesn’t have it much better,” Monty said. “I mean, you know her story. It’s never going to be easy between you. But that doesn’t mean you don’t try.”

“Of course none of that does any good if she won’t even talk to him,” Jasper said. “I mean, she doesn’t even come to the bar anymore.”

“I think I know a way to get through to her,” Bellamy said, a small smile on his face. “I got a bit of help from her friend Wells. I’m just not sure what I should do. Maybe she’s better off without me. I’m not entirely sure I deserve her.”

“You don’t,” Murphy said, finally chiming in, not looking up as he picked at the label of his beer bottle as everyone stilled, barely breathing before he continued. “But neither does she. No one deserves anyone. That’s not how it works. But if you love her she at least deserves to know that.”

Everyone at the table sat in stunned silence. Murphy looked up when the silence stretched out a minute.

“What?” he said, scowling. “I can be insightful.”

“Yeah,” Miller snorted, “and I’m a fucking ballerina.”

Murphy shoved him. Miller shoved him back.

“Whatever, man,” Murphy continued. “Here’s the thing. At the end of the day, no one really knows what’s going to happen. You might tell her you love her and she might tell you to fuck off. But at least then you’ll know and won’t just be stuck in some emotional limbo bullshit like you are now. And if nothing else, she deserves to know how you feel, and then she can make her own damn decision.”

If someone had told Bellamy that Murphy, of all people, would be the one to know exactly what to say he would have laughed at them. But the fact was, Murphy was right.

He went home that night, determined and sure. Looking at her painting, he knew what he had to do.

He was in love with her. He had been for a while. But despite the fact that every one of their friends apparently knew, and he liked to believe Clarke knew as well, he had never actually told her. There were so many things he needed to say to her, needed her to understand. 

And maybe she would tell him to fuck off as Muphy had so eloquently put it. It’s not like he could blame her if she did.

Still, she had said she loved him. That had to mean something. If nothing else, she deserved to be told the truth. She deserved to know that being with her, loving her, had given him more happiness than he had ever known or thought he could have. And he would tell her that he should have never walked away from her and he was a fool for letting her go.

Bellamy slept surprisingly well that night, the conviction of his decision staving off the worst of his insomnia and bad dreams. This was sink or swim for him. After today Clarke would know how he felt. He would lay it all on the line and just pray that there was enough love left in her heart to give him one last chance. If she did, he would do everything in his power not to screw it up again.

As he went through the motions of his day, he couldn’t help but feel a bit hopeful. The words of his friends and Wells kept running through his head, strengthening his resolve.

What he and Clarke had was special. He knew he hadn’t imagined their connection. He had never found a person who understood him so completely or was so easy to talk to. They had an undeniable attraction, both physical and mental. When he was with her his skin felt like it was on fire, her breath filling his lungs and her fingers playing a symphony over the planes of his body. He knew all the ways to make her laugh and smile, the exact spot on her side to make her squeal, and the way her breaths sounded as she fell asleep. Had memorized the way it felt to be inside of her as her nails scraped lines down his back and his name fell from her lips like honey.

If she decided she didn’t want him anymore he would back down without argument. He could do that for her. But he wouldn’t do so without laying it all on the line first. He loved her, more than he could ever explain. He just hoped it would be enough.

His first order of business was getting flowers and coffee sent over. Luckily, Luna at the flower shop downtown owed him a favor. He didn’t put his name on it, the surprise would be enough to put a smile on her face, he hoped. She deserved that.

As he showered and slipped into his tux, he practiced everything he was going to say. He had a plan in place to catch her attention but once he did, it was all on him. He had a feeling it might all go blank in his mind the second he saw her but saying the words over and over in his head was helping calm his nerves.

When he finally stepped out of the room, determination in his eyes, Octavia was there waiting for him.

“You ready to go, big brother?” she asked.

He smiled. “How did you know?”

“A little bird we know may have been given a heads up by someone,” she smiled. “Besides, I should have known you would make some dramatic, grand gesture like it’s a damn eighty’s romcom. That’s so disgustingly you that it’s almost painful.”

Bellamy laughed. “Yeah,” he said, “that’s me. The guy who hasn’t had a girlfriend in how long? Obviously the king of romantic gestures.”

Octavia rolled her eyes. “Duh,” she said, “the guys in those movies never do it until the end.”

“So is this the end of the movie, then?” he teased.

“It’s getting there,” she said with a smile. “Come on, let’s go get you that fairytale ending.”

As they pulled up to the event, Bellamy couldn't help but be amazed. The civic center plaza had been turned into a winter wonderland. Everything was blue and silver and white with snowflakes and diamonds everywhere. There were beautiful paintings dotted throughout the space on movable stands each with their own small spotlight. Off to the side, he noticed the dance floor was already full of people and even more milling about throughout the art displays. There even seemed to be someone in the back making a live ice sculpture.

Bellamy smiled, instantly proud of Clarke’s success. She had done an amazing job.

After turning in their invitations, Octavia stopped him for a moment, helping straighten his tie.

“I just have to say,” she told him, “you deserve to be happy, Bell. I can’t say for certain what’s going to happen tonight, but I do know that much. I know she loves you and you make each other happy. I believe in you.”

“Thanks, O,” he said. “All I can do is be honest. She has my heart. It’s about time she knew that.”

Octavia beamed and hugged him tightly. “Go get her.”

Bellamy smiled and made his way through the crowd. It took a moment to find her but when he saw her standing at the edge of the dance floor, his breath caught in his chest.

She was breathtaking.

In a floor-length blue gown perfectly draped over her curves and hair swept half up in impossible curls and spirals with the rest tumbling down the plunged back of her dress, she looked every bit the princess he teased her for being. Luckily, she hadn’t spotted him, as she was busy laughing at something Wells said and not looking his way.

He let himself stare a moment longer and smiled. Any doubts he had about where he should be melted away. There was nowhere in the world that made more sense than by her side. Now he would just have to prove it.

With a finally steadying breath and a smile, he turned away from her and made his way to the DJ.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those that are curious, there is a playlist that goes with this fic.
> 
> If you don't mind some light spoilers (more like hints) each song is the title of a chapter. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).


	21. How Would You Feel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are here, so close to the end. It has been quite a journey getting here. I'm sure I will get sappy on main when we get to the real end but I just want to say thank you to my two wonderful betas who have made my story so much better than I could have done on my own, Discord for being my cheerleader and sounding board, and all of you for reading even when I took breaks or stepped away. You always came back.
> 
> For those that are curious, there is a playlist that goes with this fic.
> 
> There aren't any more spoilers but this playlist does go well with my story and I just really like it. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).

  


Waking up the day of the gala, Clarke was surprised how well she had slept. Normally, when there was something she was excited or nervous about or there was just something big she was waiting for she couldn’t sleep the night before. And yet, when her alarm when off at 7:30, she woke up feeling refreshed, calm, and ready for the day.

The good news was that there wasn’t much left for her to do. The gallery had hired a day-of coordinator to be on-site when the vendors arrived and began setting things up as Clarke had planned. She knew that the woman had it covered. Clarke would only have to arrive a couple of hours before the event to meet the featured artists and act as host to any early arrivals. Overall, the plans were done and all she had to do was greet people she already knew and try not to trip in her spindly high heels.

So, because she had several hours until she had to be anywhere, Clarke decided to enjoy her morning to herself and take her time. After all, in a lot of ways, this was as much her big day as it was the gallery’s.

Just as she was getting ready to snuggle back into the warmth of her comforter, however, there was a knock at her door. Puzzled, Clarke got out of bed. Who would possibly be at her place this early?

“Just a minute,” she called out as she pulled an oversized sweater over her pajamas in an attempt to block out some of the chill in the air.

When she opened the door, she was surprised to be greeted by the face of Luna, a girl she vaguely knew from the florist across from the coffee shop she used to frequent before… well she wasn’t going to think about that today.

“Special delivery,” Luna said with a warm smile as she held her hands out to Clarke. In one was a thermos of what Clarke assumed was hot coffee and in the other a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

Clarke took them, stunned but smiled. “Thank you,” she said. “Let me just put these down, come on in.”

Clarke took a vase from the top of the fridge for the flowers and as she went to remove the paper from around the bouquet she saw the note attached to the front of it.

_  
Good Luck, Not That You Need It <3  
_

After putting the flowers in the vase she opened the thermos and the smell of peppermint and chocolate wafted around her as she took a deep breath, breathing in the smell. Her smile only grew.

“Thank you for bringing these,” Clarke said, ”but I don’t understand. The note wasn’t signed.”

“The sender didn’t ask for a name on them,” Luna told her with a mysterious smile.

“Interesting,” Clarke said, looking back at her gift on her counter. “Well, whoever they are from they clearly have good taste. I’ve never seen such a beautiful bouquet. Did you design it?”

“I did,” Luna said, “but the flower choices were all theirs. They were very specific too. Calla lilies, purple and white tulips, and red roses.”

Clarke smiled. “Beautiful. Thank you again.”

“It was my pleasure,” Luna replied. “Have a good day, Clarke.”

After Luna left, Clarke couldn’t help but admire her bouquet and the card that came with it. Her heart wanted to believe that she knew who it was from, but it couldn’t be. Could it?

Clarke bit her lip before grabbing her phone. She sipped on her delicious peppermint mocha while it rang.

“Good morning,” Wells said. “I certainly didn’t expect to hear from you this early.

Clarke chuckled. “Yeah,” she said, “I woke up early so I could take my time, relax a bit, and then make it to the salon for my hair appointment. What I didn’t expect was a knock on my door at eight in the morning with a delivery.”

“Oh yeah?” Wells said, sounding amused.

“Yeah,” she said, “my favorite Christmas coffee and some beautiful flowers. I wonder who could have sent these to me?”

“If that tone is trying to accuse me I can’t take credit,” Wells said. “I mean, I do have flowers for you but I was just going to bring them to the venue. What, was there no note?”

“I mean, there was. But it wasn’t signed.”

Clarke held the note in her hand, running her fingers over the words.

“You don’t think-” she cut herself off before she could finish the thought.

“Bellamy?” Wells guessed.

Clarke began to pace, the note held tight between her fingers like a talisman. “But why? Why would he send me flowers and coffee? We aren’t even friends right now much less anything else. We haven’t even talked! What would it mean?”

“Clarke,” Wells said soothingly, “take a breath, ok? To start, I think there’s a solid chance it was Bellamy. I mean, who else could it be? And maybe it’s an olive branch. An attempt to begin to repair the bridge between you. Besides, it’s clear to everyone with eyes that he’s crazy about you and wants you back. So of course he wasn’t going to let your big day pass without a bit of encouragement. Obviously, we have no way of knowing but you did say you were going to talk to him when this was all over. You can just ask him then.”

Clarke stopped her pacing and took a deep breath. He was right. If it was Bellamy maybe it did mean something. Maybe there was still hope for them. And if it wasn’t, well, she would cross that bridge when she came to it.

“Thanks, Wells.”

“You’re my best friend, Clarke. I would do anything for you. Even if it’s just calming you down before you completely freak out over a sweet gesture. Now go take a bath, enjoy your coffee, and I’ll see you soon.”

Taking her friend’s advice, she did just that. Her gown was waiting at the venue, her hair appointment wasn’t until two, and she had the whole morning to herself. So she ate a quick breakfast, took a long bath with her favorite bath bomb, and took her time getting ready. She even used a facemask, giggling to herself about how girly she felt as she danced around her bedroom to her favorite girl power playlist.

Still, throughout her day, it was like Bellamy was beside her. And for the first time in a while, the thought made her feel stronger, happier, more complete. She could feel it in her bones that the flowers were from him and it gave her hope. That hope kept her smiling the rest of the day.

When she finally arrived at the civic center, she was pleasantly surprised at how good everything already looked. There were diamond-like jewels draped over the hedges that she knew would catch the light and send kaleidoscopes of color spilling over the ground. From the tree’s they had hung snowflakes and shiny baubles to make it feel festive. And, though they were empty now, there were incredible movable stands that would display all of the incredible art so people could move them around, creating interesting Instagram posts or seeing how they looked in various light.

Clarke smiled as she spent a moment listening to the band’s soundcheck from the faux marble dancefloor that looked almost like snow. Everything she had dreamed had come together. She knew, when the sun went down and the blue and silver lighting illuminated the space, her magical, winter wonderland scene would be complete.

“You did a great job,” Dante Wallace said from her side as he approached, admiring the space that was being set up for the ice sculptor to create a piece live.

“Thank you, sir,” she replied. “I really did have a wonderful time with it. Even on the stressful days.”

“Well,” he said with a chuckle, “perhaps you missed your calling as an event planner.”

Clarke shook her head. “I’ll pass. How about we just say that I’ll plan this again next year?”

“I appreciate the ambition,” Dante said. “Although I saw those paintings you submitted. Something tells me you won’t be just an employee for long.”

She could feel the flush rushing to her cheeks at the compliment. “I appreciate that. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

“That we will,” he said as walked away. However, he stopped just before heading inside and turned back to her. “Oh, and Clarke? Do us a favor. Have some fun tonight. You deserve it. The hard part is over, after all.”

Then with a final smile and a nod, he slipped inside. Clarke smiled and looked around at her hard work brought to life. He was right. Life had not been exactly easy as of late, but she could feel something shifting. Though she wasn’t one to believe in fate or signs, something in her gut told her that happiness was on the way, she just had to believe and give it a chance. So, with that cheering thought, Clarke made her way to the rooms that had been set up for them to get ready.

As she slipped into her gown, she had to admit she looked good. Her hair had been styled in a dizzying array of curls that tumbled down her back held with more hairspray than was likely healthy, her make up was simple and polished with just a little bit of sparkle, and the matching diamond drop earrings and necklace her mother bought her for Christmas completed her outfit with a touch of glamor. But really, the dress was the star of the show.

The sapphire blue, satin dress was floor length and hugged her body like it was made for her. Not quite mermaid style, it managed to be beautiful and comfortable so she could still sit down. There was a slit that went up to mid-thigh and the dress had just enough of a flare that when she spun she felt like a princess.

The thought brought a sad smile to her face. She just knew, if Bellamy had seen her in this, he would have teased her all night. But she also knew she would have taken his breath away.

She shook her head and smiled. No. There would be no sad thoughts tonight. She was too excited and this was too important to let anything get in the way of that.

Thankfully, she was shaken from her moment of melancholy by the sound of a knock at the door.

“Knock knock,” Wells said as he opened the door.

“Wells,” Clarke sighed and smiled. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Wow,” he said as he came into the room. “Look at you! You look gorgeous. Like Cinderella but all grown up.”

Clarke laughed and smacked him on the arm. “Not you too! I am not a princess!”

Wells grinned. “But even you can’t deny you look like one tonight.”

With that, he took her hand and spun her around, and she couldn’t help but smile. When she came to a stop, she hugged him tightly.

“These are for you, by the way,” he said, handing her a bouquet of yellow roses. “I know it’s nothing compared to mysterious roses from a secret admirer but they will have to do.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “They smell amazing and are beautiful, thank you. I love them.”

“So,” Wells said, holding his arm out for her to take, “are you ready for your closeup, Miss Griffin.”

“You are ridiculous,” she said as they made their way outside. 

As soon as they opened the doors, Clarke had to stop for a moment to take it all in. Just like she thought, the place was beautiful at night. The art pieces were lit with their own individual lights to highlight the piece itself suspended from above the movable platform. The trees were uplit with a silver tinted white that made their crystals sparkle and the trees glowed blue from the inside. The white of the dancefloor was enhanced with soft white lighting and the entire stage glowed as if by magic.

A wonderland it truly was.

“This is amazing, Clarke,” Wells told her. “I can’t believe you made the boring, cold civic center look like this.”

“That’s the magic of lighting and a nearly unlimited budget,” she told him with a grin.

Wells laughed. “Fair point,” he said. “Does that nearly unlimited budget mean an open bar?”

Clarke rolled her eyes and smirked. “Of course it does,” she said as she led them towards the bar, “Dante insisted.”

“I like him already.”

As guests began to arrive, Clarke found herself caught up in the evening. Within the first hour, they had sold seven paintings and three sculptures. If this rate kept up, they would hit their fundraising goal easily. Lincoln really did have an eye for picking out pieces.

“Clarke,” she heard Diana Sydney say from behind her.

She suppressed a groan before turning around with a smile on her face. “Diana,” she said hugging the other woman briefly, “I am so glad you could make it.”

“As am I,” she said. “You know, I never have liked these things. They always seemed stuffy and boring. Or Christmas themed which is so cliche. But this? I love this. I should hire you for my gala in the spring. Perhaps even have you as a featured artist. You did good work here.”

Before Clarke could even respond, Diana walked away, seemingly done with the conversation, leaving Clarke shocked. A moment later, a champagne flute was slid into her hand.

“Did I just overhear Diana Sydney offering you a featured spot at her spring gala?” Lincoln asked with a smirk. “You know she does that in New York City.”

“Of course I know that,” she said, sipping the champagne. “I just don’t know if I fully believe it.”

“I’m not surprised,” Lincoln said. “Anyone with eyes can see the amazing work you did here and Dante always likes to show off art from people he says he discovered. I’m sure she’s seen those amazing paintings you turned in.”

“Do you ever get the feeling that your life is finally starting to come together?” she asked.

Lincoln smiled. “I do. I had it the day I started art school, the day I gt hired at the gallery, the day I met Octavia.”

Clarke smiled. “I really am so happy for you two. Why do I feel like there’s going to be a wedding in the not too distant future?”

“We’ll see,” he said, shyly.

“Excuse me,” they heard Dante’s voice from the stage. Lincoln made his apologies before heading up for his speech. “I just want to give a quick welcome to you all. This event has always been so special to our humble gallery so we are grateful to be able to host some of our incredible patrons for the fifth year in a row. But I don’t want to take up too much of your time. So I will call up my curator, Lincoln Woods, to greet you.”

After some brief applause, Lincoln made his way on stage.

“As Dante said, we truly are so grateful to you all for being here. Our little gallery has come to mean so much in the lives of the people around here. Between the after school classes for underprivileged youth we host, the scholarships we are able to give to young artists, and the space we provide monthly to up and coming artists, none of that would be possible without all of you here.

“Though the night is just beginning, we have already sold nearly half of the pieces we had available for purchase. Just know, every single donation or purchase tonight goes directly into the fund that keeps us going, the whole year through. I am proud to be able to head such a wonderful piece of the community and to constantly find new people who support those same goals.

“I also want to give one more very special thank you. You see, none of this would be possible without someone to plan and run it, and we all know that certainly wasn’t going to be me,” he said with a grin. The crowd laughed at Lincoln's words. 

“With that said, please raise a toast to Clarke Griffin. Her vision, talent, and keen eye gave us this wonderland before you. So tonight we drink to you, to Polis, and to all of the amazing contributors here. Thank you.”

Clarke blushed at the praise but was honestly proud. She worked hard on this event and she was just glad everything had gone according to plan.

“So,” Lincoln continued when the applause died down, “without further ado, let’s get the real party started. Drinks and appetizers are included with the price of admission but tips aren’t so don’t forget to tip your bartenders. And with that, I would like to invite the DJ to the stage. So grab a guy or girl, your friend or loved one, and let's dance!”

As his speech ended, the atmosphere of the gala shifted to a more casual party feel. With the silent auction finished and the speeches done, the rest of the evening was more of a party and she could tell the guests appreciated the chance to let go a bit. Looking around, Clarke was truly proud of the success of the night.

Standing off to the side of the dance floor, she allowed herself to be swept up in conversations with some of the patrons she recognized and familiar faces of gallery guests and friends she had gotten to know since starting at Polis. Clarke was relieved at how much fun she was having.

“Hi!” Maya said as she approached her, hand clasped tightly in Jasper’s. “I’m so glad we found you.”

“Me too,” Clarke said. “How are you both? Having fun?”

“It’s amazing Clarke,” Jasper told her. “And the food is amazing. Those little chicken curry things and the mini ahi cups? So good. Maya had to practically drag me away.”

Clarke laughed as Maya rolled her eyes. “Well, I’m glad you approve. A lot better than Totino's pizza rolls, huh?”

“In my defense,” Jasper said, “I was a broke college student when Monty and I hosted that party. You were lucky there was food at all.”

“I guess that’s a fair point,” Clarke conceded.

“I’m sure it was a lovely party otherwise, Jas,” Maya said, kissing her boyfriend on the cheek.

Jasper blushed and then his eyes got wide. “Oh, “ he said, “I almost forgot to tell you. There’s going to be an afterparty at the Dropship tonight. It won’t be anything close to this fancy but it should still be fun. I think Harper and Octavia planned it and Monty is getting it set up. They ever closed off the back room with the pool table for us all. Make sure to bring Wells too.”

“That sounds like a lot of fun,” Clarke said, “thanks, Jasper. I will absolutely be there.”

She was checking out the nearly complete ice sculpture when Wells found her.

“That is incredible,” he told her, admiring the work. “Do you happen to know what the inspiration is?”

“From what I’ve heard it seems to be a scene from some fairytale,” Clarke told him. “It’s a story called The Christmas Star. Apparently, a princess made a wish on a special star that appears at midnight on Christmas Eve. She wished for her true love to find her. Because of that wish, her love was able to use that same star to guide him to her castle. It was a long, hard journey. But when he arrived they finally got to have their happily ever after. The scene here is their Christmas day wedding with the star shining brightly above them.”

“I don’t know if I’ve heard that story but it sounds nice,” Wells told her.

“It’s apparently an original short story that is being published by his friend,” Clarke explained. “The writer is going to use the photographs of this piece for the cover.”

“That’s really amazing,” Wells said. “Look at you, Clarke Griffin, launching the careers of people left and right, is there anything you can’t do?”

She rolled her eyes and shoved him playfully.

“So, is the night going well? Are you having fun?” Wells asked.

“I am, actually,” she said. “The night has been amazing, everything turned out even better than I expected. We have sold almost all of the art, the silent auction just closed but from what I saw the numbers looked great, and it seems like everyone has enjoyed themselves. I even got an offer for another really big show in New York City next year.”

“My my,” he said, “I guess everything really is coming up Griffin. Just one more thing to get Cinderella her happily ever after.”

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh. The little bubble of hope that had been growing inside of her felt so big that it could burst. Everything was so very nearly perfect. As she laughed, she eyed the beautiful sculpture before her and smiled. She might not have a wishing star to bring her true love to her but something inside her knew, before too long, she would be back in his arms.

As she leaned on Wells, the song changed behind her and her breath caught in her chest. There was no way and yet, somehow, she knew. As the first chords of Ed Sheeran’s “How Would You Feel” washed over her she slowly turned around.

There, standing in the middle of the dance floor was the one person she wanted most to see. His eyes were locked on hers with a small smile and a shrug and everything else melted away.

“Bellamy,” she whispered.

“Go,” Wells said from beside her.

She sent a slightly watery smile at her best friend, knowing in her heart that he was involved in this, then turned back and made her way to him. The seconds felt like hours until finally, after what had been far too long, he was before her.

She didn’t even hesitate to throw herself into his waiting arms, sinking a moment in their warmth. 

“What are you doing here?” she asked, smiling brightly but more than a little confused when she finally pulled back.

“Isn’t it obvious?” he asked, gesturing at the party around them. “Big romantic gesture and all.”

“Bell,” she said.

He took a step back and held his hand out to her. “Dance with me?”

Clarke could feel the tears prickling in the corners of her eyes as she nodded.

“I have a lot I need to say to you,” Bellamy started and sighed. “Clarke, I am so sorry for everything that happened between us. I should have trusted you that day, given you a chance to explain. Trust doesn’t come easy for me, you know that. But that doesn’t excuse how I behaved.”

“Bellamy-”

“Let me finish?” he asked, imploring eyes burning into her.

Clarke nodded and then laughed as Bellamy spun her, pulling her even closer into his chest.

“God I missed your laugh,” he said softly into her hair. “Missed having you in my arms, just missed you. And I know that there are always two sides to a fight, it’s never just one person involved. But I know, if I had just taken a few minutes to talk to you that night, or hell, even the next day, then I could have shown up with you tonight instead of relying on benevolent friends to talk some sense into me. And, you know, actually give me a ticket.”

“Wells,” Clarke said, realizing what had happened.

Bellamy nodded. “He’s a good friend. I spent too much time wallowing in my own self-pity and didn’t take a moment to just try to fix things with you. So that’s what I’m doing here. Trying to fix things.”

“I missed you too, Bellamy,” Clarke admitted. “So much. I wanted to pick up the phone and call you so many times. But I was scared. I didn’t want to get hurt.”

“And that is a totally valid fear,” Bellamy said. “I hope it’s one that doesn’t happen again but I can’t promise that. No one knows what the future is going to look like. But I can promise to try.”

“You want that?” Clarke asked. “With me?”

“I want everything with you, Clarke,” he said, looking deep into her eyes as they stopped dancing and just held each other. “You’re it for me. That night, at Monty’s party, all I wanted the whole night was to tell you how I felt. To be by your side again. To know you were coming home with me. And then you tell me you love me and leave before I can tell you I love you too. I do. I love you, Clarke Griffin. And, if you’ll let me, I’d like to spend the rest of my life proving that to you. If you’re willing to give me another chance?”

Clarke smiled and knew the choice was hers now. But really it was no choice at all.

As she threaded her arms around his neck she pulled him closer and finally, finally, kissed him. The moment her lips touched his she melted into him. Kissing Bellamy Blake was like coming home. He kissed her back, soft but sure, and any fears she had melted away.

They might not be perfect. She knew they would still argue and bicker over stupid things. There would be misunderstandings and miscommunication because they were human. But she had faith that they would always find their way back to each other. There were no hills they couldn’t climb together.

With a final light kiss on his cheek, she pulled back with a smile on her face.

“I love you too, Bellamy Blake,” she said.

As the song changed around them back to something faster they stood for a moment longer, just enjoying being able to be in each other’s arms once again.

They still had work to do and conversations to have to get back to where they were before. But she was ready to take the leap with him. It was worth it.

Before she could pull away, Bellamy leaned down to whisper in her ear, “I missed you, Princess.”

Clarke hugged him tightly, burying her face in the crook of his shoulder just breathing him in. Part of her never thought she would get this again. This time, she wasn’t going to let go.

“Don’t worry,” she said, “you’ll never have to again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a bit more of the story after this but even if you stopped here I think our favorite dysfunctional couple has finally found their way back to each other. I hope you enjoyed some little easter eggs I dropped in this chapter and some of the small moments. This is really where I was hoping to build them to all along and now it's finally here. There is one full chapter to go (the last one, the epilogue, posted on my bday!) but I really do feel good about where the story is even now. Thanks for enjoying me take these two idiots on a ride. Stay tuned for the conclusion next week.


	22. We Both Know

  


There was a part of Bellamy that didn’t fully believe it - that he and Clarke had found their way back to each other. When he’d come up with the idea for his grand gesture, he hadn’t been sure it would work. He ran his hand through his hair nervously as he glanced at her yet again, as if she was simply going to vanish or he was going to wake up. She was chatting away about the gala with a smile that lit up her whole face and he reminded himself that, no matter how impossible it seemed, this was real.

He ran his thumb lightly over her knuckles and she squeezed his hand in return. That simple action, reassuring him that she was really here, was enough to quiet his thoughts.

As Clarke’s limo made its way to the bar where it all began, he couldn’t help but feel that he really was the luckiest man alive.

Seeing her laugh and smile again, feeling her skin pressed against his, and knowing she wanted him too? All of that was worth all their time apart.

“I still can’t believe you let Murphy tell you off like that,” she teased with a smirk at him as he finished telling her about his not-quite pep talk from their friends.

“I’m not sure anyone lets Murphy do anything,” Bellamy replied, “but I think I needed to hear it.”

Clarke shrugged and tucked herself under Bellamy’s arm. “Sometimes we all need to hear things we don’t want to.”

Bellamy kissed her hair and ran his fingers over the velvet skin of her arms, shoulder, and neck. She sighed at the action and Bellamy smiled.

When they finally arrived at TonDC, he turned to her as they got out of the limo. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?” he teased. “Our friends are going to be insufferable, you know.”

Clarke grinned. “We did it once, we can do it again. I think we’ve got this.”

With that, she tugged him in for a slow, lazy kiss, pulling him close with the promise of more to come. Bellamy chased her lips when they finally broke apart.

“Come on,” she whispered against his lips, “let’s go give the people what they want.”

Bellamy laughed and swung an arm around her as they made their way through the door. Despite her earlier confidence, she tensed a bit just before they headed into the back room. He gave her arm a squeeze, making her smile up at him.

Raven saw them first. Her eyes widened and she sighed, dramatically. “Oh thank fucking god!” she nearly hollered, startling the other patrons in the bar and earning her a few glares that she ignored. “It’s about damn time.”

With that, all of their friends turned and saw them too, greeting them with hoots and hollers.

“Mom and Dad are back together,” Jasper's relieved voice came from the corner, where he sat with Maya smiling at him affectionately.

“Wasn’t sure you would ever get your head out of your ass,” Miller quipped with a smirk.

Bellamy spotted his friend with his arm firmly around Jackson’s shoulders. “Looks like I’m not the only one.”

Miller blushed and hid it in his beer. Jackson just laughed.

“Come here,” Harper said, pulling Clarke away towards Raven. “We want to hear everything.”

Clarke shot him a small, apologetic smile before heading off with her friends. Bellamy watched her go a moment before heading over to where Murphy was standing sullenly in the corner.

“Why does it seem like you are the only one not happy for us?” Bellamy asked.

Murphy stared at him for a long moment before letting out a tired breath. “Look,” he said, “it’s not that I’m not happy for you. I am, actually. You two make sense together. I’ve just been here before, seeing someone get hurt more than once by someone they love. Hell, most of us were raised in that kind of world. I know you can’t see the future but can you at least promise to try your best not to hurt her again?”

Bellamy smiled. “You’re a good friend, Murphy.”

He sat down beside his friend and made sure the man knew he was serious before continuing.

“I’ve known you a long time,” Bellamy started. “I didn’t like you at first, which you know. But you’ve changed and grown a lot since we were kids. It’s still weird that somehow you’ve become besties with my girlfriend but I can live with it if it means I know she has someone looking out for her.”

Murphy nodded. “I know we’ve been friends longer but she’s become someone pretty important to me,” he said and then narrowed his eyes. “But if you ever repeat that I’ll have to kill you.”

“Deal,” Bellamy said with a laugh before getting serious again. “What I will say is this. I love her. More than I really thought I could love someone. I am going to fuck up sometimes, I’m sure I’ll hurt her feelings now and then, and we are gonna have bad days where she will need a friend like you. But I can promise to try my best, to always talk things out, and to be honest. And if for any reason either of us decides it’s time to end things I will do my best to make it as amiable as possible so we can all end up as friends.”

Murphy studied him a moment longer and then smiled, pouring Bellamy a beer. “In that case,” he said, raising a glass, “to the happy couple.”

Bellamy clinked their glasses and smiled at his friend.

“Sorry to interrupt the moment,” Monty said as Harper joined him and he raised a glass as well, “but I have a little something I would like to say and you kind of gave me the perfect opening.”

Everyone looked towards Monty and Harper with happy smiles and just a bit of confusion. Still, they all raised their glasses to join the toast.

“To start,” Monty said, “I want to offer a huge congratulations to Clarke. Even though we couldn’t all be there tonight we know how big of an undertaking your gala was and I am so happy I can call you my friend.”

Their friends all clapped and Clarke waved them off.

“And as much as we love you, Clarke,” Harper said, bringing their friend’s attention back to the front, “we have a confession to make.”

Monty smiled. “The truth is,” he sheepishly admitted, “throwing an afterparty for Clarke’s gala is only half of the reason we wanted you all here tonight.”

Harper’s grin grew even wider. “We’re getting married!”

All of the girls squealed and Octavia nearly ran Harper over in her excitement to hug the bride to be. Raven and Clarke joined them soon after in a group hug that included tears and talking so fast Bellamy was surprised any of them knew what the other was saying.

As the guys congratulated Monty with a bit less enthusiasm than the girls, Bellamy took a moment to look over their friends and smile fondly.

Wick came over then and shoulder checked him lightly. “Don’t tell me you’re getting soft in your old age,” he joked.

Bellamy shoved him back. “You’re older than me, asshole.”

“In age maybe,” Wick replied, “but I’ll always be younger in spirit.”

Bellamy laughed and rolled his eyes.

“It’s good to see you happy though,” Wick admitted.

“It’s good to be happy again,” Bellamy replied. “It’s not like I think everything is magically just fine between us. I know we still have conversations to have and work to do. The hurt we did to each other didn’t just disappear. But I really do think we are gonna be ok.”

“Me too,” Wick told him with a shrug. “If anyone can come back and make it work you two can. You’re good together.”

Bellamy smiled at his friend and clinked their beers.

Harper and Monty laughed about something then and he saw Clarke’s face light up. Yeah, they would be ok. She looked over and caught his eye, her smile only brightening.

Not long after they found their way to each other again. She kissed him lightly and then buried her face in his chest and he pressed his into her hair. The scent of her shampoo surrounded him and it was like no time had passed at all.

“Bellamy,” she said, lifting her head to look at him, eyes serious. “I want to say this now before any more time passes. With no assumptions or questions. I want you, only you, for as long as you’ll have me. I love you very much and I want to be very clear that I want to be your girlfriend.”

Bellamy grinned and kissed her, sloppy as they couldn’t keep the grins off their faces. “That’s good to hear,” he said against her lips, “because I want nothing more in this world than to be your boyfriend.”

Clarke pulled him down for another kiss and their friend’ wolf-whistled and hollered making them both laugh. “Now come on,” she said, ” there’s a wedding to start planning.”

Bellamy laughed as his girlfriend pulled him back towards their friends, already deep in talks with Harper over dates and flowers and things they probably didn’t need to think about yet. But they were happy and that was enough. Even Monty smiled fondly at his fiancee’s excitement.  
The party went on late into the night with wine and beer flowing freely, everyone just soaking up the feeling of the season and the happiness of all of their friends. Despite it all, they had managed to land somewhere good. Bellamy could only imagine where they would go from there.

Sometime after two, a buzzed Clarke pulled him aside with a mischievous smile. “Do you want to get out of here?” she purred against his ear.

Bellamy kissed her deeply. “More than you could imagine.”

They said quick goodbyes before they made their way back towards their building. The cold and their excitement made the walk even faster than they expected and before long Clarke had her key in the door as Bellamy kissed his way down her neck causing her to stutter and sigh.

When they finally got inside and the door locked she grabbed his hand and walked him to her room. She kissed him against the door frame and he tangled his hands into her hair, loosening her updo and releasing the bands and pins holding it in place.

“You are so gorgeous,” he said, pulling back to look at her.

“I’m so glad you got to see me in this dress,” she said shyly. “I picked it out with you in mind.”

Bellamy felt heat rush between his legs at her admission before crowding her against the bed. As his hands made their way to her zipper he whispered in her ear, “I bet you look even better out of it.”

Clarke released a quick breath as he slowly pulled her zipper down before sliding the straps from her shoulders, his lips replacing the shimmering fabric as he went. As the dress came free and pooled around her feet on the floor, Bellamy just took her in.

“You are a goddess,” he told her, “and I am going to worship you far longer than just tonight. But this is a good start.”

Clarke moaned when Bellamy kneeled and took a black, lace-clad nipple between his teeth, running his fingers lightly up her side. As he switched to the other he let his hands begin to brush her inner thighs.

Her hands found his curls and pulled tight and he let his teeth graze the underside of her breast, sucking lightly when she did.

“Bellamy,” she sighed.

He smiled. “I love the way my name sounds coming from your lips.”

Her blue eyes met his and she bit her lip. Standing back up, he unclasped her bra before guiding her back onto the bed.

“Do you even know what you do to me?” he asked as he ran his nose along her inner thigh. “Since day one you have driven me crazy. Gorgeous, sassy, smart. The number of times I have thought about you in this bed.”

Bellamy shook his head before dropping a kiss over the soaked fabric of her panties.

“Show me,” she breathed.

Bellamy smirked before slowly peeling her final piece of clothing down her legs, leaving her open and exposed for him. He followed in suit, her eyes watching him as each article of his clothing hit the floor.

He made his way back between her legs, eyes never leaving hers, before finally licking a hard stripe against her slit. Her eyes rolled back and her hands curled into the sheets as he went to work on her.

He would swirl her clit and dive his tongue between her folds, the whole time her moans filled the room making him hard and heavy against her mattress. He couldn’t help rutting a bit, desperate for friction. He could probably get off from the sounds dripping from her lips alone. But this wasn’t about him, not yet.

As she began to reach her peak, he worked two fingers inside of her. She began to thrust into him, chanting his name like a prayer; his fingers continued working her until she was spilling over the edge.

He worked her until she squeezed her legs against him, overwhelmed. He pulled back with a last kiss to her swollen clit before letting her come down gently against his palm. Lying down beside her, she kissed him immediately, her hand finding its way between his legs and caressing him torturously slowly.

Bellamy lost himself to the feeling of her hand stroking him languidly and her tongue in his mouth. It didn’t take her long to recover and then she was climbing on top of him.

As she grabbed his hands and sunk down onto him, they both moaned.

“God,” he said, eyes roaming over her body, “you are so tight.”

Clarke responded by rocking against him. “You feel so good,” she said, a hand going into her own hair and the other using his chest for balance.

He allowed her to set the pace but put his hand on her hips to help drive her deeper. “Oh fuck, Clarke.”

“Bellamy,” she moaned, “God, yes.”

He watched her, his own orgasm already closer than he would have liked, but he could see hers building again. Determined to get her off one more time, he let his thumb find her clit and rubbed firm, slow circles into it.

Clake’s pace faltered a moment before she started rocking again, faster and harder against him.

“Come for me baby,” Bellamy said, matching her rapid pace with his fingers.

With three more hard thrusts, she came undone against him, falling with her chest to his. He fucked her through his own orgasm, not far behind, letting his thrusts carry them both through to the other side.

As their moans subsided and their high mellowed, he ran his fingers gently over her smooth expanse of back and sighed. He could feel her breaths evening against his neck as she dropped periodic kisses to the skin there.

When she finally pulled back and they took a moment to clean up, she didn’t waste any time curling herself back into his side and pulling the comforter over them both. She sighed and smiled, a head on his chest and their fingers intertwined on his stomach.

They lay together comfortably, breaths matching, and heads quiet. Before they could drift off to sleep, Bellamy kissed her hair.

“I love you, Clarke Griffin,” he whispered into the stillness of her room.

He couldn’t see it but he heard the smile in her voice as she replied sleepily. “And I love you, Bellamy Blake.”

She looked up and kissed him one final time before settling back into his waiting arms. Just as she was falling asleep she mumbled into his side, “Best Christmas ever,” and then soft snores overtook her as she drifted into a deep sleep.

He smiled and held her a bit tighter. His final thought before joining her in a night of deep sleep was simple. It really was going to be the best Christmas ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned, just the epilogue after this. I will get mushy then but I want to thank you, for the millionth time, for coming along on this journey with me. It's been a wild ride! See you Friday!
> 
> For those that are curious, there is a playlist that goes with this fic.
> 
> There aren't any more spoilers but this playlist does go well with my story and I just really like it. I would love it if you checked it out here: [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).


	23. The One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end. There are no more spoilers to give. If, however, you have an interest there is a playlist that goes with this fic.  
> I would love it if you checked it out here: 
> 
> [Number 6, Arkadia](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4VXrIMb6Dv8rAmS3KwpYo6?si=-7qI_5noRF-zgHjl0XfDTA).

One Year Later

“Clarke,” Bellamy called from inside their closet, “have you seen my nice jacket?”

Clarke smiled as she worked on the corners of her winged eyeliner in the bathroom mirror. “If you’re talking about the leather one,” she called, “you hung it on the new coat rack by the door.”

As Bellamy emerged from the closet into the bathroom he dropped a kiss on her shoulder. “See,” he said, “this is why I moved into your place. Who else is going to keep track of all my things?”

Clarke laughed. “I thought it was more because Lincoln moved into your place and you were nice enough to give Octavia the master,” she teased before turning around and kissing him lightly on the cheek. “That and all the sex we can have when we sleep in the same bed.”

Bellamy wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

He tried to deepen the kiss but she twisted out of his grip. “Oh no, buster,” she chided with a grin. “We cannot be late again because you’re horny and a bad influence.”

“That’s fair,” Bellamy sighed and pouted a bit. “Especially now that Raven moved into Maya’s old place. She would be poundin’ on the door in seconds if she thought we were going to miss this damn bachelor/bachelorette party.”

“It’s a shame that Jasper and Maya deciding they were going to explore the world before they started grad school next year or maybe she and Shaw would have moved into his place when her lease ended.” Clarke joked.

“A guy can dream,” Bellamy replied before making his way out to the front room, presumably to grab his jacket.

Clarke smiled as she thought about their friends. So much had changed since their last big party and she was excited to see everyone again. It had been ages since everyone was in the same place at the same time and with Monty and Harper’s wedding just a month away they were all excited for this excuse to get drunk and party at TonDC again.

After all, it was New Year’s Eve.

A few moments later there was a knock at the door and she heard Bellamy groan. “Speak of the devil and she shall appear.,”

“I heard that,” Raven chided, opening the door just as Clarke made it to the living room. “You should be nice to me. I brought presents.”

Her friend was trailed by a surprise visitor and Clarke squealed before throwing herself into Wells’ open arms.

“Hey stranger,” he laughed, “it’s almost like you missed me or something.”

“Of course I did,” she agreed, looking over at Roan who had come in behind him. “I mean jeez, it’s been six months since this one ragged you off to California for that job. I know it was an amazing opportunity for you but I miss you being right down the street.”

“In my defense,” Roan said, “it was his idea. I just encouraged him.”

“And at least you get to fly out for our wedding next summer,” Wells said.

“That’s fair,” she conceded. “I am so looking forward to the beach.”

‘It’s like we aren’t even here,” Bellamy joked from behind them.

“Nope,” Raven snarked, “totally invisible.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “You guys are so dramatic.”

Raven shrugged and smirked. “You love me anyway. Let’s get going though. Shaw is waiting downstairs and I’m fairly certain Octavia and Lincoln left without us.”

“My sister is nothing if not impatient,” Bellamy replied.

They did get going though. Clarke slipped on her white pea coat over her shimmery purple dress and they were gone.

When they made it downstairs Shaw kissed Raven on the cheek, much to her chagrin, but she still smiled. They had been living together for three months but Raven still insisted they were moving slow. It made Clarke chuckle.

As they walked, Raven’s phone went off and she smiled. “Good news,” she said, “Murphy and Emori are going to make it. They just made it before all the flights out of Germany got grounded.”

“I still can’t believe they eloped,” Clarke said. “I mean, I know she’s having a baby ad everything and Murphy as a dad makes sense. It’s the Murphy as a husband that’s bizarre.”

“Seriously,” Bellamy replied. “I can’t wait to tell that kid it was conceived at the actual Oktoberfest too.”

“You guys have weird friends,” Shaw said with a laugh, shaking his head.

“I hate to break it to you, bud,” Clake replied, “but they are yours too.”

“I remind him of it every day,” Raven grinned and kissed her boyfriend on the cheek.

The group made it to the bar and were nearly the last to arrive. To be fair, Harper owned the place now and she and Monty were living in the building behind it so they were nearly always there. And Jasper and Maya were staying with them until they left for the south of France next week.

They hadn’t even been in the door a minute before Octavia was throwing her arms around Clarke’s neck. “I’m so glad you got here,” she said with rosy cheeks.

Lincoln came up beside her and she immediately wrapped her arms around him instead, making Clarke laugh.

“She may have already had a couple of shots of Monty’s moonshine,” Lincoln admitted.

“I still can’t believe Harper lets them sell that here,” Bellamy joked.

“Hey,” Monty said, coming up to say hello. “In my defense, Jasper and I have perfected the recipe and it has full FDA regulations behind it so it’s totally legal.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s good,” Raven grumbled.

Jasper stuck out his tongue at her. 

The group made their way to the back, only missing a few more people. Wick had met some girl at a convention and disappeared so no one was totally sure if he would show up. Murphy and Emori were on the way, according to their Waze directions, but there was some traffic on the way back from the airport. 

Miller and Jackson were going to be a bit late as well. Jackson had started a new clinic in town and had to stay until the place could close. So of course Miller offered to help. He was going to college across the street from the office anyway so it was close by.

While they waited, the group took a few shots in celebration and munched on the jalapeno poppers and mozzarella sticks that had become a party staple.

The party was well underway when Murphy and Emori arrived with Jackson and Miller hot on their tail. Emori was just beginning to show so, of course, the girls were all over her. Octavia more than anyone. Most of the boys tried to avoid the situation but Murphy just looked proud.

“I still can’t believe you are growing a whole human in there,” Octavia said.

Emori laughed. “Well believe it,” she teased, “because pretty soon you are going to have to babysit.”

Clarke laughed and Octavia wrinkled her nose. 

“Speaking of big life steps,” Harper said to Octavia, “have you told your brother you’re engaged yet?”

“Shh!” Octavia whispered, clapping a hand over her friend’s mouth. The other girl just shook with mirth. “You know I haven’t. Not until after the holidays are over and that includes this one.”

“She’s hoping that when Bell starts his new supervisor position next month he will be in a good enough mood to not get too mad.”

“I think you should give him more credit,” Maya said. “He is your brother and he loves you and he’s going to be happy for you.”

“Maybe after a ten year adjustment period,” Raven joked and Octavia smacked her arm.

The truth was, Bellamy did know, not that Clarke would tell her that. The day Lincoln showed up at their apartment had been more than a little awkward. It was barely even a month after Bellamy moved in with Clarke during the spring so, thankfully, he had been in a very good mood. Lincoln told him that, though he wasn’t asking for permission because Octavia was a grown-ass woman, he was asking for Bellamy’s blessing.

He heartily said yes. Clarke pretended not to see the tears in his eyes when he did.

But Octavia was excited to be the one to tell him so they all kept that secret. She would admit it when she was ready. Besides, it had only been since Christmas so it’s not like it had been that long. They could be patient.

After a lot of dancing, Clarke and Bellamy took a breather outside to cool down, relishing the night air. “Are you having fun?” Bellamy asked.

“I really am,” she said. “I just can’t believe that by the end of next year over half of our friends will be married.”

“Well they say it happens in waves,” Bellamy joked with a chuckle.

“They aren’t wrong,” Clarke admitted, kissing him briefly. “Man, I’m going to have to buy so many new dresses.”

“You make that sound like the end of the world,” Bellamy teased.

She poked him in the side.

When the bar door opened spilling light and sound from inside, they both turned to see Wells coming out. The light stained the pavement yellow and the sound of clinking glasses and enthusiastic laughter broke the still of the moment.

“Hey,” he said. “This is an amazing party. You guys are so lucky to know the owner”

“Haha,” Clarke teased. “As if you haven’t known her just as long as I have.” 

Wells grinned. “Oh hey,” he said, turning to Bellamy, “could I bum a smoke. It’s been a while and that sounds great right now.”

Bellamy smiled. “Actually,” he said, lifting his shirt to show a small flesh-colored square on his abdomen, “I quit.”

“Oh yeah?” Wells asked, cocking his head but smiling.

“Yeah,” Bellamy replied. “Someone very wise told me not that long ago that maybe it’s time to grow up. So this is a step in that direction.”

“Well whoever told you that does sound very smart so it’s a good thing you listened to them,” Wells said with a cheeky grin.

The three of them laughed and then made their way back inside.

“You guys are just in time,” Murphy said. “Jasper is giving a speech.”

“Oh this I have to see,” Bellamy joked with a smirk.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Jasper announced, standing on a chair, “If I could have your attention, please. “I’m going to keep this short because I don’t want to leave myself with nothing left to say at the wedding. But I do have a few things I want to tell you now. If you would all please grab a shot from the table we can begin.”

The group did as they were told, hoisting their drinks into the air.

“For as long as I have known Harper,” Jasper said, “I knew she would end up with Monty. He is my best friend in the world and from the moment they met, it was obvious they were meant to be. She helps him believe in his amazing self, she makes him laugh more than I even can, and I’ve never seen him so willing to just be himself as he had been since falling in love with her.”

Jasper tipped his drink in Monty’s direction then, managing to not spill a drop from the precariously full glass. “And then there’s Monty. The best friend and brother a guy could hope for. We have been there through it all and I know you will be with me until the end. Adding Harper into the mix was just a bonus.”

Everyone laughed at that and Jasper grinned. Monty rolled his eyes fondly.

“At the end of the day,” Jasper continued, “we don’t all get lucky enough to find a love like they have. So to them, I wish you all the luck and happiness and babies you could ask for. And for the rest of us, may we be as lucky as them. To the happy couple.”

Everyone raised their shots, echoing the sentiment. “To Monty and Harper!”

With that, they took their drinks and Jasper signaled the DJ to start the music back up. As a house beat pumped through the floor, most people went to dance. Clake happily followed.

They danced throughout the night, the girls most of all. Everyone here was so happy. They had all gotten so lucky.

Octavia laughed when Clarke said as much. “You’re next, you know,” the girl remarked over the music.

Clarke laughed and rolled her eyes at her friend’s antics. Still, there was a part of her that wondered if she was right.

As Clarke’s eyes found their way to Bellamy she smiled. Watching him with his friends, laughing and smiling at something they said, she felt a wave of happiness wash over her. As it did, his eyes met hers across the room and it was like time stopped.

Maybe Octavia was right. She could see herself marrying him. True, it had only been a year. But they had been through so much in that time and done so many things. Their lives found a way to mix and grow together and Clarke couldn’t have been more thrilled by the prospect. She didn’t know where her future would lie or how she would get there, but she knew she was excited about the journey.

Still, they weren’t there yet. There were weddings to attend and to plan, places to go and explore, and a lot of life still to live until that day. They weren’t perfect. They still found ways to argue and bicker about things that didn’t matter. But that just meant the making up and the learning was that much sweeter for it.

“Don’t get too sappy on us,” Emori called out, bringing her back to the moment. “I’m the one dealing with all the hormones. I should be the one getting weepy.”

Clarke laughed. “I’m not weepy,” she replied, “just happy.”

“Yeah yeah,” Emori said, “same thing.”

As the night began to wind down, Clarke found herself with too many shots in her system and her shoes sitting on the table as Bellamy massaged her calves. Most people had already gone home but she and Bellamy had agreed to help clean up. Suddenly she was regretting that promise. While the alcohol had stopped flowing a while ago, now the exhaustion had set in.

“Clarke,” Harper said, “I know you’re my maid of honor but I swear you don’t need to stay.”

“I planned the damn thing with Jasper,” she whined. “The least I can do is see it through to its conclusion.”

“Which is very sweet,” Harper replied, “but the joy of owning the bar now is I can just write off the cleaning fee and hire someone to do it for me. You already packed up everything that was leftover, made sure a very drunk Raven and Octavia got out of here and into a cab, and took all the shot glasses and mugs and pitchers to the kitchen. You’ve done enough.”

“What do you say?” Bellamy asked. “Ready to go?”

Clarke pouted a minute but then sighed.

“Alright,” she relented, “if you’re sure.”

“We are,” Monty said. “Now go so I can get my soon to be wife home.”

Clarke smiled and hugged her friends goodbye and finally let Bellamy usher her out the door.

As they made their way back towards their building, Bellamy wrapped an arm around her shoulder and kissed her temple.

“I’m just so glad they found each other,” Clarke told him after they had been walking a few minutes. “Not everyone finds that so I’m glad they did.”

“We found that,” Bellamy said fondly.

Clarke stopped and turned to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “We did, huh?”

Bellamy kissed her nose, making her giggle. “We really did.”

She kissed him slow and lazy. She was too tired and too cold for it to go anywhere, but it was just nice that she could do so. When they pulled back a moment later, he rested his forehead on hers and sighed contentedly.

“You happy?” Bellamy murmured against her lips.

“I really really am,” Clarke whispered back.

He pulled back and looked in her eye, pushing a stray curl behind her ear. “I love you, princess.”

She smiled, letting her fingers curl around his before bringing their joined hands to her lips and kissing his knuckles softly.

“I love you too,” she said. “Let’s go home.”

As the pair made their way inside Bellamy pulled her close to his side. She let his warmth envelop her as her thoughts began to wander to the warm sheets that awaited them just ahead. She was so lost in her thoughts that she nearly missed it when he replied.

“Yeah,” he murmured softly into her hair. “Home sounds good to me.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe we are at the end. I started this fic as a practice story to get used to writing Bellarke. I never would have imagined it would become what it has. Having all of you read this story and enjoy it has been one of the highlights of my life. This is the first novel-length story I have finished and I am so proud of myself.
> 
> I can't go on without thanking my two amazing betas or their help on this. I honestly couldn't have done it without them. People don't realize how much work goes in behind the scenes to make large works happen so I just want to give a shout out to all the betas, cheerleaders, sounding boards, and brainstorming partners I have had along the way.
> 
> Believe me, there will be more Bellatke in the future but also some other stuff. I hope you take that ride too but if not, thank you so much for reading.
> 
> Final note, there may be an additional epilogue planned for this story so subscribe if you are curious. Otherise, thanks for reading. You all are the best!!!
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr if you want to keep up with me [Here!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/slyth-princess)
> 
> Also, for anyone reading this the day I post, it's my birthday so show me love!!!


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